dealing with ex's attorney

[JD4100]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My sons father cc's and has me directly email his attorney. She replies and directly emails me back. Not very fun for me! She is often , well she is his attorney and not mine so that should speak for itself!
I do not have a attorney.
I am going to modify a current court order regarding where the specific location shall be for the drop off/ pick up occur's.

My question is - I am trying very hard to be calm and communicative with my sons father in dealing with this.
I feel as though , along with the step mother (thats another post!) that she is disruptive and just causes me and my son more stress. She is his Aunt also.

Do i have to deal with her? She is not helping this matter at all.

Could someone help me with what i should say to her ? I also know this women, as i mentioned she is actually my sons father's sister.

I want to say something like - I do not have to correspond with you. You are not my attorney. Serve me papers to appear in court or something but do not talk to me directly. I feel you are disruptive to what I am trying to accomplish in the benefit of my child.
How is that?

Or - am i mistaken , and yes - she is a attorney so i have to respond to her emails.

thank you

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My sons father cc's and has me directly email his attorney. She replies and directly emails me back. Not very fun for me! She is often , well she is his attorney and not mine so that should speak for itself!
I do not have a attorney.
I am going to modify a current court order regarding where the specific location shall be for the drop off/ pick up occur's.

My question is - I am trying very hard to be calm and communicative with my sons father in dealing with this.
I feel as though , along with the step mother (thats another post!) that she is disruptive and just causes me and my son more stress. She is his Aunt also.

Do i have to deal with her? She is not helping this matter at all.

Could someone help me with what i should say to her ? I also know this women, as i mentioned she is actually my sons father's sister.

I want to say something like - I do not have to correspond with you. You are not my attorney. Serve me papers to appear in court or something but do not talk to me directly. I feel you are disruptive to what I am trying to accomplish in the benefit of my child.
How is that?

Or - am i mistaken , and yes - she is a attorney so i have to respond to her emails.

thank you

um EW

She is not a party to ANY kind of proceedings. Therefore, you do NOT have to communicate with HER at ALL! As far as the other communication, I'm gonna leave that one alone. I have more experience in collection law than family, and I'd normally say that if he's being represented, you'd have to communicate through the attorney. BUT, I am not sure, so I won't even speculate...

 

[JD4100]

should i ask - Im so sorry - i am confused - so i dont have to correspond with her? She is my ex's family law attorney and his sister . So she is my sons Aunt.

She is the one who drew up our current child custody / visitation / support court agreement.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

should i ask - Im so sorry - i am confused - so i dont have to correspond with her? She is my ex's family law attorney and his sister . So she is my sons Aunt.

She is the one who drew up our current child custody / visitation / support court agreement.

Ok now I'M the one who's confused! I thought you meant the step-mom was the aunt! That's what the EWWWW was about.

So could you clarify the relationships? Call them Jane Doe, Aunt Em or something to make the relationships a little clearer? The way you posted the situation is apparently confusing to me.... or you could just wait for someone smarter than me to respond.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Is the aunt still the attorney of record for you X?

Exactly WHAT is Aunty Dearest communicating about?

Is there any current court proceedings?

 

[JD4100]

No there are no current court proceedings .
But i do plan on going in to modify the drop off/ pick up location. I would like it to occur in a public place that is safe. Not at residences. ( due to new step mom who comes outside to scream disparaging comments to me in front of my child)

Aunt/Lawyer is still my ex's attorney. Per her. Although i could swear i got a letter from her stating he was no longer her client awhile back. I brought this up and she claimed to not know what i was talking about. So i dropped it. MAybe i miss read it.

Anyway - as anyone can imagine there is a lot of he said/ she said . Its really terrible , but it happens. My goal is for nothing to be said in front of my son. Unfortunatly it does.

So i will email my sons father and his current wife asking them to stop talking about me in a negative light in front of him. Then , our friend , the aunt/lawyer will email me and say all kinds of things like - As i believe what happened is this or that. Or pointing out every possible little thing i have done.

If i have to respond to her emails i will. But i feel its just a bullying tactic. Again - there is NO legal proceedings going on at the moment. Until I walk in a try to modify the location pick up/ drop off.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

No there are no current court proceedings .
But i do plan on going in to modify the drop off/ pick up location. I would like it to occur in a public place that is safe. Not at residences. ( due to new step mom who comes outside to scream disparaging comments to me in front of my child)

Aunt/Lawyer is still my ex's attorney. Per her. Although i could swear i got a letter from her stating he was no longer her client awhile back. I brought this up and she claimed to not know what i was talking about. So i dropped it. MAybe i miss read it.

Anyway - as anyone can imagine there is a lot of he said/ she said . Its really terrible , but it happens. My goal is for nothing to be said in front of my son. Unfortunatly it does.

So i will email my sons father and his current wife asking them to stop talking about me in a negative light in front of him. Then , our friend , the aunt/lawyer will email me and say all kinds of things like - As i believe what happened is this or that. Or pointing out every possible little thing i have done.

If i have to respond to her emails i will. But i feel its just a bullying tactic. Again - there is NO legal proceedings going on at the moment. Until I walk in a try to modify the location pick up/ drop off.

If she is no longer representing him, NO you do NOT have to communicate with HER at all. IF this is the case, my first post (minus the EW part) stands. FIND THAT LETTER! If you think you've thrown it away, treat this as a learning point... FILE EVERYTHING you have/do receive regarding ANYTHING about your child. INCLUDING custody, support, visitation, communications, daycare daily shets... etc.

 

[Ohiogal]

should i ask - Im so sorry - i am confused - so i dont have to correspond with her? She is my ex's family law attorney and his sister . So she is my sons Aunt.

She is the one who drew up our current child custody / visitation / support court agreement.

Yes you have to communicate with her IF your ex tells you to do so. You can also communicate with him. However, if he will not talk to you, then you correspond with his counsel. Regardless of the fact that she is also your nephew's aunt. Be mature and realize that since you are pro se you are considered your own counsel. Attorneys talk to one another. It is a big portion of our job.

 

[LdiJ]

Yes you have to communicate with her IF your ex tells you to do so. You can also communicate with him. However, if he will not talk to you, then you correspond with his counsel. Regardless of the fact that she is also your nephew's aunt. Be mature and realize that since you are pro se you are considered your own counsel. Attorneys talk to one another. It is a big portion of our job.

Even when there is no case pending at all? She hasn't filed for a modification yet. I realize its not improper for the Aunt to contact her on her clients behalf, but is she actually required to respond?

 

[Ronin]

If the ex's attorney sister is being generally uncooperative and antagonistic, then keep your pro se communications to her direct, to the point, and a bare minimum. Avoid the inclination to try to argue your position in emails to the attorney, or to allow yourself to be baited into doing so.

When the facts in dispute boil down to one persons word against another, it is a no win proposition to debate this in emails. It's too easy to set you up with something you inadvertently wrote in anger, or to present it in court out of context with what you "meant to say". Once you hit the email send button there is no turning back...

If you receive emails that are argumentative or intended to yank your chain, or not directly relevant to a current legal matter, it is ok to simply not reply. Many attorneys don't have a problem ignoring pro se communications, and only limit their responses to what is absolutely required. If you ignore their emails, and they absolutely need your attention, there are more formal ways to get it.

As a pro se, there are some benefits in that you CAN communicate directly with the other party (your ex), and you are not bound by the set of rules of professional ethics and conduct that a license to practice law is chained to.

Any arguments you make in writing should be limited to your motions, and beyond this to any hearings on these motions.

 

[Ohiogal]

Even when there is no case pending at all? She hasn't filed for a modification yet. I realize its not improper for the Aunt to contact her on her clients behalf, but is she actually required to respond?

Being mature at this point could avoid him suing her. Unless of course she wants to be sued when he has counsel and she does not.