hospitalization help please

[CJane]

You have NOTHING to worry about regarding denial of visitation. Kiddo couldn't BE more accessible to Dad right now. Not like you can abscond with him.

If Dad chooses not to show up, he chooses not to show up. That CANNOT be painted as anything YOU did to deny him access.

 

[LdiJ]

You have NOTHING to worry about regarding denial of visitation. Kiddo couldn't BE more accessible to Dad right now. Not like you can abscond with him.

If Dad chooses not to show up, he chooses not to show up. That CANNOT be painted as anything YOU did to deny him access.

Absolutely...the child couldn't be more accessible to dad. Its only the looney tune wife that might not get to see the child.

 

[Artemis_ofthe_Hunt]

from the fact that dad hasn't shown his lovely face at the hospital, I'd say that it was more idle threat than actual fact that he was going to utilize his visitation. Ex seems to have a very high opinion of himself to think that through everything that you would even WANT him back...

You're doing everything you can to protect yourself, just keep everything documented and follow the suggestions you've been given by the seniors here.

Glad to hear that Little Guy is doing better, sounds like you're in better spirits too! Good Luck!

 

[AngelaAZ]

I really hope you take OhioGal's advice. This step mom really needs to learn her place. I also am really glad to hear he's doing better. I hope the rest of his stay at the hospital is uneventful for you and that he continues to get better quickly.

 

[Hisbabygirl77]

aww good I am happy for you that you gotta cuddle with your lil one and I am sure they were happy to finally get to be held by mommy. It is scary enough having your child in the hospital and then with your ex's umm wife adding to the stress makes it that more difficult. You have held up well considering. Bless you both.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

You need to get a restraining order against looney toons. Save her voice mail message. Save her texts. And get a restraining order against looney toons.

This is something I would definitely like to pursue as soon as we are out of the hospital and feeling better. I do have some questions about it though.

We live in different counties now. (I moved 2 miles which put me in a different county than the custody case took place in) which county would I file that in? I assume mine.

Do I include Son in the restraining order also?

How would I go about showing the stuff I do have against her? (texts, voice mail, myspace messages.) will they actually look at the messages on my phone and listen to the voice mail from my phone?

Sorry for my ignorance, I've never had to do anything like this before.

And to should_i_ask - Dad and wife both live off in some fantasy world that I want him back. Funny, I've been with my fiancé for nearly a year and we are very very happy. I had a total stranger on myspace forward me a whole slew of correspondence between this stranger and the wife. The stranger got sick of seeing the wife bad mouth me. She told her I was on welfare, got 2 grand a month of their money (try 300, that I've only seen twice), that there were 4 possible fathers for each of the children. That my daughters dad obtained custody of her and I abducted her and they were gonna turn me in. She told her that I daily sent her husband texts saying that he needed to leave his wife if he ever wanted to see the baby again. She seriously MUST have a problem with reality because absolutely NONE of it is true. The messages also showed that wife would teach baby to call her Mama because I wasn't a REAL mother to him. She said THEY fought me for custody and the only reason I won is because the judge was pro-mom. But they did win 3 whole days a week. (which is halfway true- dad did get son 3 days a week for a while... For 2 hours each day)

That's one of the times I asked dad to make it stop. Needless to say, it hasn't.

Anywho, its almost 2:30p and still no dad or anyone else. Sons awake but bound to the bed again because he needs the IV for antibiotics for his ears. They actually look worse than when we first got here. But his breathing is TONS better!

 

[janM]

Anywho, its almost 2:30p and still no dad or anyone else.

I bet, once they confirmed the rules for the PICU, that they (wife) decided that since wife and/or her family couldn't go in, then Dad couldn't go alone. She sounds totally insecure where you and he are concerned, if not obsessed.

So glad little guy is on the mend! ...and that there was no drama.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

I bet, once they confirmed the rules for the PICU, that they (wife) decided that since wife and/or her family couldn't go in, then Dad couldn't go alone. She sounds totally insecure where you and he are concerned, if not obsessed.

So glad little guy is on the mend! ...and that there was no drama.

That's very correct. She is extremely insecure. I am totally shocked that Dad is allowed to come to pick up and drop off without her. She has sent her little brother about 4 times. Dad and I did make an agreement before we even went to court that we would NOT include our significant others in pick up or drop off to keep the drama down. And so far, we have both stuck to our agreement. Not sure if that will continue on his side after this whole ordeal is over and done with.

 

[LdiJ]

This is something I would definitely like to pursue as soon as we are out of the hospital and feeling better. I do have some questions about it though.

We live in different counties now. (I moved 2 miles which put me in a different county than the custody case took place in) which county would I file that in? I assume mine.

Do I include Son in the restraining order also?

How would I go about showing the stuff I do have against her? (texts, voice mail, myspace messages.) will they actually look at the messages on my phone and listen to the voice mail from my phone?

I would print out the myspace stuff so that you have a hard copy. I would make transcripts of the texts and voicemail but have the phone available to look at/listen to as well.

Sorry for my ignorance, I've never had to do anything like this before.

And to should_i_ask - Dad and wife both live off in some fantasy world that I want him back. Funny, I've been with my fiancé for nearly a year and we are very very happy. I had a total stranger on myspace forward me a whole slew of correspondence between this stranger and the wife. The stranger got sick of seeing the wife bad mouth me. She told her I was on welfare, got 2 grand a month of their money (try 300, that I've only seen twice), that there were 4 possible fathers for each of the children. That my daughters dad obtained custody of her and I abducted her and they were gonna turn me in. She told her that I daily sent her husband texts saying that he needed to leave his wife if he ever wanted to see the baby again. She seriously MUST have a problem with reality because absolutely NONE of it is true. The messages also showed that wife would teach baby to call her Mama because I wasn't a REAL mother to him. She said THEY fought me for custody and the only reason I won is because the judge was pro-mom. But they did win 3 whole days a week. (which is halfway true- dad did get son 3 days a week for a while... For 2 hours each day)

I would make sure that you have hard copies of all of that. That is just appalling.

That's one of the times I asked dad to make it stop. Needless to say, it hasn't.

Anywho, its almost 2:30p and still no dad or anyone else. Sons awake but bound to the bed again because he needs the IV for antibiotics for his ears. They actually look worse than when we first got here. But his breathing is TONS better!

It just floors me that your child is in the PICU and dad hasn't shown up to see him. However, the day is not over yet and it could still happen. Don't relax too much just yet.

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

I would print out the myspace stuff so that you have a hard copy. I would make transcripts of the texts and voicemail but have the phone available to look at/listen to as well.



I would make sure that you have hard copies of all of that. That is just appalling.



It just floors me that your child is in the PICU and dad hasn't shown up to see him. However, the day is not over yet and it could still happen. Don't relax too much just yet.

Thank you for the tips!

And in reply to your last paragraph. I'm honestly shocked too. However, there are 8 total kiddos here in PICU. 4 of them have not had ANY visitors whatsoever since Son was brought in here early Thursday morning. I've been here every second that I'm allowed to be. (PICU closes for four 2 hour intervals throughout the day and overnight. 6a-8a, 11a-1p, 4p-6p, 12a-2a.) they let me stay in here during the overnight closing and honest to goodness I can't tell ya WHY they close it. They do the same exact stuff as when its open.

And definitely NOT too relaxed yet, the nurses won't let me be.. They are asking about Dad every 10 mins.

The last nurse I spoke to mentioned tubes for little guys ears. He's had 3 pretty bad ear infections in the last 2 months, but none before that. What's funny is Dad takes kiddo to his wife's little brothers football games on his Saturdays... Kiddo came home soaked one day because they sat in the RAIN to watch one day. Who knows if being in the windy weather and whatnot could be contributing to the ear infections...

Son comes home with diarrhea after just about every visit, I've taken him to his doctor 3 times for it because it lasts for DAYS. Doctor asked me to have Dad come to a doc appt so she could discuss his eating habits with him while son is with him. He said nope, and to tell her that Son just drinks lots of apple juice. Sons primary Doc is pretty well fed up with Dad. I've taken son to the doctor more in about the last 4 months than I ever have. We usually just went for well-baby checks and once he got a yeasty diaper rash. That's it. Never any ear problems or chest problems. :sigh: he's allowed to be a crappy parent and takes full advantage of it.

 

[maryjo]

Thank you for the tips!

And in reply to your last paragraph. I'm honestly shocked too. However, there are 8 total kiddos here in PICU. 4 of them have not had ANY visitors whatsoever since Son was brought in here early Thursday morning. I've been here every second that I'm allowed to be. (PICU closes for four 2 hour intervals throughout the day and overnight. 6a-8a, 11a-1p, 4p-6p, 12a-2a.) they let me stay in here during the overnight closing and honest to goodness I can't tell ya WHY they close it. They do the same exact stuff as when its open.

And definitely NOT too relaxed yet, the nurses won't let me be.. They are asking about Dad every 10 mins.

The last nurse I spoke to mentioned tubes for little guys ears. He's had 3 pretty bad ear infections in the last 2 months, but none before that. What's funny is Dad takes kiddo to his wife's little brothers football games on his Saturdays... Kiddo came home soaked one day because they sat in the RAIN to watch one day. Who knows if being in the windy weather and whatnot could be contributing to the ear infections...

Son comes home with diarrhea after just about every visit, I've taken him to his doctor 3 times for it because it lasts for DAYS. Doctor asked me to have Dad come to a doc appt so she could discuss his eating habits with him while son is with him. He said nope, and to tell her that Son just drinks lots of apple juice. Sons primary Doc is pretty well fed up with Dad. I've taken son to the doctor more in about the last 4 months than I ever have. We usually just went for well-baby checks and once he got a yeasty diaper rash. That's it. Never any ear problems or chest problems. :sigh: he's allowed to be a crappy parent and takes full advantage of it.

It was always surprising to me how many parents never came to see their babies in the NICU. I think though that they had to work or whatever and may not have lived close. We were sent to Balboa Naval Hospital from Camp Pendleton because Pendleton didnt have the right equipment for a baby that was as small as my son. So it was about an hour or so away. Thankfully we got in at the Fisher House and we were right next door. I was there every second I could be.

So what was the verdict? Dad ever show? They probably figured that since they didnt get to make a grand entrance and show off that it wasnt worth the drive.

I had forgotten that my nephew had RSV when he was a baby. My preemie never had it but my sister's 9 pound 6 ounce perfectly healthy baby got it. He spent a couple days in the hospital but I dont think it got as bad as your son's. I hope he continues to get better fast and can go home soon.

 

[wileybunch]

Anyway... Wiley, regarding the Myspace messages, they were emails through myspace. My profile is completely private but anyone still has the option of sending a message. She has sent me friend requests about 25 times in the last year or so. Denied by me every single time.

Why don't you just use the Block User feature on her?
You don't ever have to see another email from her or anyone else you don't want to once you block them.

 

[my life is mine]

DPT. I am glad to hear your son is doing better and will say my prayers for him to continue to improve.

I was able to accomplish having Stepmom reprimanded for interference of Co parenting (unfortunately my order is a different state).

By reprimanded I mean Judge told Stepmom, if she continued, with her barrage of emails, phone calls and comments to children and I. He (the Judge) would order no contact between children and her. Ex would have to see his children in his home but she would have to remove herself from the premises. If she did not, if and when, he ordered this Ex would have to go to supervised visitation, as he could not be trusted to prevent his children from negative influences. He also let her know, that she was in essence, a legal stranger, so her family functions (family reunions, birthdays) were not something the children MUST attend, but something, if EX was on his time they could attend.

When I went to court and this issue was brought up, I included transcribed phone messages, printed out emails with headers attached and a witness to her comments to bboth children and I. The Judge only looked at the emails that she was sending to the children and told her the above.


I understand your little one is much younger but I would nip this now before it actually does effect him. (we had an email come from stepmom the made it so kids were having nightmares)

 

[DawnPlusTwo]

Brief update, even though there isn't much to say...

We are still in PICU. The X-Rays aren't getting too much better. When son woke up this afternoon, he sounded worse than he did 2 days ago. He is also running a slight fever. 1 step forward, 2 steps back it always seems.

Dad never called or showed yesterday, and I have yet to hear from him today either. No more calls or messages from wife or her buddies.

A group of folks from my Aunts church came up today and prayed with me. They also brought me two rolls of quarters and a nice little toiletry gift set. And they brought kiddo a super cute Teddy bear and a set of pajamas. Such a sweet and thoughtful group.

I am emotionally exhausted.

Wiley, I've previously blocked several of wife's Myspace accounts, but she seems to create a new one every week. I can continue to block though.

 

[CJane]

Know what? Stop texting Dad with updates. Concentrate on your kid and your life. He can contact the hospital if he's curious about his child's health.