unwed couple-one wants adoption one does not

[BeholdCirce]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

My 22 year old unwed daughter dated a man for a few months and became pregnant. She had broken up with him prior to confirmation of pregnancy for a variety of reasons. She is opposed to reconcilliation and opposed to termination of life and decided to make plans to allow her uncle and his wife to adopt the child. She then told this man of her plans and then he demanded her to terminate the pregnancy as he would not have his child being raised by someone else. Later he stated he wanted to meet the prospective parents, now once he again changed his intent and states he will NOT agree to let his child be adopted by her family and he will interview prospective parents because her choosing is not fair to him. It seems he is intentionally trying to hurt my daughter for not wanting him anymore and for not wanting to have a relationship with him. She has no insurance, works part time as a waitress and lives with me. We need to make every attempt to terminate this irrational and vindictive man's parental rights as well as prevent further harrassment of my daughter. Please advise.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

My 22 year old unwed daughter dated a man for a few months and became pregnant. She had broken up with him prior to confirmation of pregnancy for a variety of reasons. She is opposed to reconcilliation and opposed to termination of life and decided to make plans to allow her uncle and his wife to adopt the child. She then told this man of her plans and then he demanded her to terminate the pregnancy as he would not have his child being raised by someone else. Later he stated he wanted to meet the prospective parents, now once he again changed his intent and states he will NOT agree to let his child be adopted by her family and he will interview prospective parents because her choosing is not fair to him. It seems he is intentionally trying to hurt my daughter for not wanting him anymore and for not wanting to have a relationship with him. She has no insurance, works part time as a waitress and lives with me. We need to make every attempt to terminate this irrational and vindictive man's parental rights as well as prevent further harrassment of my daughter. Please advise.

Because he doesn't agree with your daughters choice of adoptive parents , he is horrible?? Are you kidding? It is his right to have a say in where HIS child is placed. Stay out of it. This is between them.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

My 22 year old unwed daughter dated a man for a few months and became pregnant. She had broken up with him prior to confirmation of pregnancy for a variety of reasons. She is opposed to reconcilliation and opposed to termination of life and decided to make plans to allow her uncle and his wife to adopt the child. She then told this man of her plans and then he demanded her to terminate the pregnancy as he would not have his child being raised by someone else. Later he stated he wanted to meet the prospective parents, now once he again changed his intent and states he will NOT agree to let his child be adopted by her family and he will interview prospective parents because her choosing is not fair to him. It seems he is intentionally trying to hurt my daughter for not wanting him anymore and for not wanting to have a relationship with him. She has no insurance, works part time as a waitress and lives with me. We need to make every attempt to terminate this irrational and vindictive man's parental rights as well as prevent further harrassment of my daughter. Please advise.

if dad doesn't consent to the adoption, he is well within his rights to establish paternity and file for full custody.

until that child is born, mom is under no obligation to talk to him. which is going to be hard since mom needs dad's consent to adopt anyway.

 

[BeholdCirce]

Because he doesn't agree with your daughters choice of adoptive parents , he is horrible?? Are you kidding? It is his right to have a say in where HIS child is placed. Stay out of it. This is between them.

That's all you got out of the question? To ellaborate: During thier 8 week relationship he left bruises on her arms from grabbing her. He stalked her at work and when she was out with friends. Upon her breaking up with him, he immediately went to her "hang-outs" and hooked up with her acquaintences and former "friends" and posted pictures. He sent bragging text messages and was insulting and belittling. She had almost changed her number and he seemed to back off. Now, since she was compelled to reveal the pregnancy, he sends her upward of 50 text messages (and phone calls) a day - all hours of the day and night, in one message he states how much he loves her and will do anything to keep her, the next how he will take the kid from her. Did I mention she is supported by me and has no insurance and works part time? She is very interested in the best interest of the child and he appears only to care about continuing a dysfunctional relationship and making the child a tool.

I'd actually appreciate valid and useful information from someone with experience. Thanks.

 

[Zigner]

That's all you got out of the question? To ellaborate: During thier 8 week relationship he left bruises on her arms from grabbing her. He stalked her at work and when she was out with friends. Upon her breaking up with him, he immediately went to her "hang-outs" and hooked up with her acquaintences and former "friends" and posted pictures. He sent bragging text messages and was insulting and belittling. She had almost changed her number and he seemed to back off. Now, since she was compelled to reveal the pregnancy, he sends her upward of 50 text messages (and phone calls) a day - all hours of the day and night, in one message he states how much he loves her and will do anything to keep her, the next how he will take the kid from her. Did I mention she is supported by me and has no insurance and works part time? She is very interested in the best interest of the child and he appears only to care about continuing a dysfunctional relationship and making the child a tool.

I'd actually appreciate valid and useful information from someone with experience. Thanks.

You must be proud of your daughter

Look - let the FATHER have his child. Then your daughter can just carry on without being bothered by the guy she chose as the father of her child.

 

[Isis1]

That's all you got out of the question?

it's what you gave for us to go on.

To ellaborate:

ah. here it comes.

During thier 8 week relationship he left bruises on her arms from grabbing her.

she filed a police report, right?

He stalked her at work and when she was out with friends.

then she filed a restraining order, right?

Upon her breaking up with him, he immediately went to her "hang-outs" and hooked up with her acquaintences and former "friends" and posted pictures.

her friends suck. she needs to make better choices in friends.

He sent bragging text messages and was insulting and belittling. She had almost changed her number and he seemed to back off.

almost? she still didn't get that restraining order?

Now, since she was compelled to reveal the pregnancy, he sends her upward of 50 text messages (and phone calls) a day - all hours of the day and night

still no restraining order?

in one message he states how much he loves her and will do anything to keep her, the next how he will take the kid from her.

she could change her number and file a restraining order. she can also BLOCK his number.

Did I mention she is supported by me and has no insurance and works part time? She is very interested in the best interest of the child and he appears only to care about continuing a dysfunctional relationship and making the child a tool.

dad is within his legal rights to file to establish custody once the child is born. he can also file for full custody, and child support. mom can still file a restraining order and never have anything to do with him or the child.


OR mom can involve dad in who adopts the baby.

I'd actually appreciate valid and useful information from someone with experience. Thanks.

you're welcome.

 

[Ohiogal]

The ONLY way dad doesn't have a say so is if MOM aborts the baby. If she aborts that is COMPLETELY TOTALLY HER DECISION. If the child is born, dad will be able to petition for paternity/custody/visitation/support and he will have a say so in adoption. Those are facts.

 

[BeholdCirce]

The ONLY way dad doesn't have a say so is if MOM aborts the baby. If she aborts that is COMPLETELY TOTALLY HER DECISION. If the child is born, dad will be able to petition for paternity/custody/visitation/support and he will have a say so in adoption. Those are facts.

Well thanks all.

Yes, I am disappointed in what happened with my daughter dating a jerk and getting knocked up. I am proud she recognized that making one mistake doesn't mean she has to make another and marry or even have a relationship with the same cretin, but that's just me loving my offspring no matter what others think. Furthermore, for her to consider bearing the burden and to offer a new life a better opportunity than even bloodline could provide is surely a testiment of unselfishness and sacrifice. Personally, I would have never let him know his reckless sperm found a host .... hopefully anyone stumbling across this thread will take head to that warning.....

 

[Proserpina]

Well thanks all.

Yes, I am disappointed in what happened with my daughter dating a jerk and getting knocked up. I am proud she recognized that making one mistake doesn't mean she has to make another and marry or even have a relationship with the same cretin, but that's just me loving my offspring no matter what others think. Furthermore, for her to consider bearing the burden and to offer a new life a better opportunity than even bloodline could provide is surely a testiment of unselfishness and sacrifice. Personally, I would have never let him know his reckless sperm found a host .... hopefully anyone stumbling across this thread will take head to that warning.....

I hope those with reckless sperm receptacles will also take heed.

 

[Isis1]

I hope those with reckless sperm receptacles will also take heed.

AMEN to that!!!

 

[LdiJ]

Well thanks all.

Yes, I am disappointed in what happened with my daughter dating a jerk and getting knocked up. I am proud she recognized that making one mistake doesn't mean she has to make another and marry or even have a relationship with the same cretin, but that's just me loving my offspring no matter what others think. Furthermore, for her to consider bearing the burden and to offer a new life a better opportunity than even bloodline could provide is surely a testiment of unselfishness and sacrifice. Personally, I would have never let him know his reckless sperm found a host .... hopefully anyone stumbling across this thread will take head to that warning.....

There is no way that she could have put the baby up for adoption without notifying ALL potential fathers. I am not saying that your daughter had multiple partners, I am just pointing out how rigid the law is on that issue.

 

[Just Blue]

Well thanks all.

Yes, I am disappointed in what happened with my daughter dating a jerk and getting knocked up. I am proud she recognized that making one mistake doesn't mean she has to make another and marry or even have a relationship with the same cretin, but that's just me loving my offspring no matter what others think. Furthermore, for her to consider bearing the burden and to offer a new life a better opportunity than even bloodline could provide is surely a testiment of unselfishness and sacrifice. Personally, I would have never let him know his reckless sperm found a host .... hopefully anyone stumbling across this thread will take head to that warning.....

But if a person wants to place their child for adoption they MUST gain consent from "the cretin".

 

[nextwife]

Bottom line: This baby will exist because two people created him/her and making an adoption plan also needs to involve the input of those two people. Daughter cannot unilaterally impose her choice of adoptive parent on him. They need to both be in agreement on this. It's unfair to the adoptive parent for her to even try to make an adoption plan without first knowing whether dad is "on board" with the plan and parental choice. Daughter should have been communicating with dad about this - I'm surprised the adoption attorney she was working with didn't advise her of this.

And I'm surprised you don't "get" this concept.

 

[Ohiogal]

Bottom line: This baby will exist because two people created him/her and making an adoption plan also needs to involve the input of those two people. Daughter cannot unilaterally impose her choice of adoptive parent on him. They need to both be in agreement on this. It's unfair to the adoptive parent for her to even try to make an adoption plan without first knowing whether dad is "on board" with the plan and parental choice. Daughter should have been communicating with dad about this - I'm surprised the adoption attorney she was working with didn't advise her of this.

And I'm surprised you don't "get" this concept.

See, now you are assuming there is an adoption attorney.

 

[dannyt]

stay out of this matter

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NV

My 22 year old unwed daughter dated a man for a few months and became pregnant. She had broken up with him prior to confirmation of pregnancy for a variety of reasons. She is opposed to reconcilliation and opposed to termination of life and decided to make plans to allow her uncle and his wife to adopt the child. She then told this man of her plans and then he demanded her to terminate the pregnancy as he would not have his child being raised by someone else. Later he stated he wanted to meet the prospective parents, now once he again changed his intent and states he will NOT agree to let his child be adopted by her family and he will interview prospective parents because her choosing is not fair to him. It seems he is intentionally trying to hurt my daughter for not wanting him anymore and for not wanting to have a relationship with him. She has no insurance, works part time as a waitress and lives with me. We need to make every attempt to terminate this irrational and vindictive man's parental rights as well as prevent further harrassment of my daughter. Please advise.

WE arent going to do anything. this is not your child, its your daughters, and this is your daughter's issue to deal with. 100 percent. if dad says no, then its no, and neither you or your daughter( especially you as the grandma) can do anything about it.