Terminating Parental rights

[nikkilynt33]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

I am looking for information on what needs to be done to terminate the parental rights of the father if we are BOTH in agreement. I'm currently 7 months pregnant, and "sperm donor" is doing everything he can do avoid being responsible for paying child support. I don't have his SSN or place of employment, nor an address, all I have is email communication with him. I really don't want to go through 18 years of fighting with someone I don't even care for just for money, and don't want to deal with the "baby daddy drama". I agreed that he could terminate his parental rights. I called the county I live in and was told it was "easy", I just needed to call an attorney, which I did, and left a voicemail that was never returned. I have 2 months left, and really want this taken care of ASAP before baby is born.

***very important added information*** I am actually putting the baby up for adoption, and due to "sperm donor's" reluctance to committ to even cooperating with an attorney, Im afraid the potential parents will get scared off as they will fear he may come back in the future and try to reclaim his child. So I only wanted to see if I could get that part in place PRIOR to the adoption for reassurance.

 

[ecmst12]

If you didn't want to deal with baby daddy drama, you should not have let him impregnate you. It is NOT possible to do this. There are many other threads on this subject that you can read up on if you want more details.

 

[nikkilynt33]

Thank You, I guess

for at least pointing me in the right direction for further information.

The smart ass comment is somewhat unnecessary, but oh well.

 

[Isis1]

for at least pointing me in the right direction for further information.

The smart ass comment is somewhat unnecessary, but oh well.

it's not going to happen. the state won't allow it. someone would need to adopt (a husband). don't want him in YOUR life? don't contact him. don't ask for child support, don't ever EVER apply for state aid.

technically, once the child is born, you will be the only legal parent. since you are not married, the father's name will be blank on the birth certificate. until dad files to establish paternity. if he choses not to, you go about your own merry little way.

just be prepared when the child asks about his/her father. it's not going to be pretty.

 

[ecmst12]

It wasn't smart ass, it was the truth. It is 7 months too late for you to be regretting your choice of father.

You can't put the child up for adoption unless BOTH parents consent. And once you both consent, neither of you can back out later, not once the adoption is final.

 

[Banned_Princess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

I am looking for information on what needs to be done to terminate the parental rights of the father if we are BOTH in agreement. I'm currently 7 months pregnant, and "sperm donor" is doing everything he can do avoid being responsible for paying child support. I don't have his SSN or place of employment, nor an address, all I have is email communication with him. I really don't want to go through 18 years of fighting with someone I don't even care for just for money, and don't want to deal with the "baby daddy drama". I agreed that he could terminate his parental rights. I called the county I live in and was told it was "easy", I just needed to call an attorney, which I did, and left a voicemail that was never returned. I have 2 months left, and really want this taken care of ASAP before baby is born.

***very important added information*** I am actually putting the baby up for adoption, and due to "sperm donor's" reluctance to committ to even cooperating with an attorney, Im afraid the potential parents will get scared off as they will fear he may come back in the future and try to reclaim his child. So I only wanted to see if I could get that part in place PRIOR to the adoption for reassurance.

if you put the baby up for adoption, use an adoption agency so everything will be done right.


If the father is willing to allow child to be adopted, I don't see your problem.



If the father wants nothing to do with the kid, and you want to keep it, then just don't go to court for anything. Don't have him sign anything. Just have he baby and go on with your life. BUT that DOES leave the father the chance to file for himself to get rights to the child and whatnot. and you NEED to be hoinest with kid throughout its life. or it might get muddy down the road. As you have learned, you have to do things before its too late to do anything about it.




WELL. Nothing you can do until the baby is born anyway. (Except the 3rd party adoption option. but you are aware that kills any option of you getting the baby for yourself, right??)

Just make sure you want what you do, and make sure you are more careful who you have kids with in the future.

 

[Isis1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

I am looking for information on what needs to be done to terminate the parental rights of the father if we are BOTH in agreement. I'm currently 7 months pregnant, and "sperm donor" is doing everything he can do avoid being responsible for paying child support. I don't have his SSN or place of employment, nor an address, all I have is email communication with him. I really don't want to go through 18 years of fighting with someone I don't even care for just for money, and don't want to deal with the "baby daddy drama". I agreed that he could terminate his parental rights. I called the county I live in and was told it was "easy", I just needed to call an attorney, which I did, and left a voicemail that was never returned. I have 2 months left, and really want this taken care of ASAP before baby is born.

***very important added information*** I am actually putting the baby up for adoption, and due to "sperm donor's" reluctance to committ to even cooperating with an attorney, Im afraid the potential parents will get scared off as they will fear he may come back in the future and try to reclaim his child. So I only wanted to see if I could get that part in place PRIOR to the adoption for reassurance.

son of a ....

THAT isn't going to happen without dad's consent either.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Do you have a husband who is willing to adopt your child? If not, there is no "terminating" his rights. first of all, he has to be established as the father. After that, he can have his parental rights terminated so that your HUSBAND can adopt.

The state does NOT want the responsibility for this child; BOTH parents are responsible to support their child. If you go on ANY government program, the agencies will help set up a child support order.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

He'll have an opportunity to "terminate" his rights when you BOTH sign those papers for adoption.

 

[Banned_Princess]

I just want to put it out there for OP


The father of my child and I don't get along at all. As a matter of fact we never talk. he knows about her, she knows about him, its fine in that aspect.


My daughters father is not on the birth certificate. Nobody asked me who was the father. And when someone did, I said I didn't know. so here we are 11 years later, and I have been on state assistance and a temp change of custody for a year, never ever has anyone pursued the father for anything (including me) he has never pursued anything, he doesn't care, and my daughter has no Legal father.


So if you want to, I suggest you just not pursue the father for anything. If he wants to visit with him then let him. keep the courts out, and if he wants to pursue the legal way then let HIM.

I just want to also say, you don't know how your going to feel in a few years, Sometimes I just want to screw the heck out of him by filing for child support (cause he wont even just call her, not on xmas not on her birthday nothing) But I have to remember it was me who wanted it like this.

 

[ecmst12]

So you lied to the state and are taking money from the taxpayers when you know darn well who the father is? That's dishonest and fraudulent.

 

[Banned_Princess]

So you lied to the state and are taking money from the taxpayers when you know darn well who the father is? That's dishonest and fraudulent.

It was only 6 months, and it was an emergency and it was 10 years ago.

I have since become completely independent, and I wasn't being dishonest, I really didn't know who the dad was. (teenagers sheesh)


Relax. I'm not suggesting OP be dishonest or fraudulent, I'm saying, if she feels like she can do it all alone, with no help from the state or the dad, then all she has to do is not revile who the father is, and be complete honest with kid, dad and self.

It leaves dad the option to exercise his rights, but she doesn't have to do it for him.

 

[nikkilynt33]

Re:

WELL. Nothing you can do until the baby is born anyway. (Except the 3rd party adoption option. but you are aware that kills any option of you getting the baby for yourself, right??)

So, in the case of a 3rd party adoption, he COULD sign prior to birth of baby?

I realized when I went back and read his last email, I read it wrong. What he had actually said was "save yourself the money of hiring an attorney, and just go along with our agreement of no child support, I won't be contacting you anymore anyway". So he basically he IS agreeing to relinquish, but he just doesn't want to bother with attorneys.

 

[Isis1]

So, in the case of a 3rd party adoption, he COULD sign prior to birth of baby?

I realized when I went back and read his last email, I read it wrong. What he had actually said was "save yourself the money of hiring an attorney, and just go along with our agreement of no child support, I won't be contacting you anymore anyway". So he basically he IS agreeing to relinquish, but he just doesn't want to bother with attorneys.

honey. he hasn't agreed to ANYTHING until he signs on the dotted line.

if you plan to adopt, AFTER the baby is born, dad would need to establish paternity, THEN relinquish his parental rights as PART of the adoption. until that baby is born, there isn't anything you can do. you can get everything ready. you can have all the papers prepared, the attorney on standby. but nothing is happening until that baby falls all the way out.

 

[Banned_Princess]

So, in the case of a 3rd party adoption, he COULD sign prior to birth of baby?

I realized when I went back and read his last email, I read it wrong. What he had actually said was "save yourself the money of hiring an attorney, and just go along with our agreement of no child support, I won't be contacting you anymore anyway". So he basically he IS agreeing to relinquish, but he just doesn't want to bother with attorneys.

If thats what you want to do I suggest you get in touch with the adoption agency where you live and go over the facts and feelings with them.

He will have to sign, but it might be at the time of the actual adoption (birthday) same as you.


Call the adoption agency and go it over with them.