back again Supervised Visits

[wileybunch]

In addition to LDiJ's good advice in the last post, up the time your child is spending with his therapist to deal with his feelings toward his dad and how to feel safe (since that seems to be an issue for him) during his supervised visits with his dad.

 

[Anjelita]

Personally, I don't think that you are wrong at all. He abused your child to the point that he is up on charges for it. He clearly has little to no remorse for doing so, and has been inappropriate in his discussions with the child.

However, he is already on supervised visitation and it may be difficult to get a judge to order anything different than what is already ordered.

Thank you. I just wanted to note that a Judge didn't order the supervised visits, we came into an agreement about it while awaiting the custody trial (which has been continued like 5 times - pending criminal), a master drew up the paperwork for it and the Judge signed off on it.

Would this help me any?

I should have thought before I agreed to the sup visits, I didn't even ask for NCP to attend anger management/parenting class/therapy etc. Everything happened so fast..

 

[Ohiogal]

Thank you. I just wanted to note that a Judge didn't order the supervised visits, we came into an agreement about it while awaiting the custody trial (which has been continued like 5 times - pending criminal), a master drew up the paperwork for it and the Judge signed off on it.

Would this help me any?

I should have thought before I agreed to the sup visits, I didn't even ask for NCP to attend anger management/parenting class/therapy etc. Everything happened so fast..

The judge did order it. And if the supervised visits are going well don't expect anything else to be ordered.

 

[Anjelita]

thank you for clearing that up.

the visits were not going well. father didn't show for six months straight. father harasses son during visits telling him "its ok that i hit you, my father did it to me too, doesn't mean i don't love you", he calls him ugly, says he's worthless and all he does is play video games, says things like "your stepfathers a ******" etc... my son spent half his time at the visits in the bathroom throwing up because of how nervous he was to see the man that beat the crap out of him for 2 days.

why should he have to put up with mental abuse during "supervised visits" while father gets away with it? i complain, and the worthless "nannys" don't care a single bit.

these are things that i only recently found out, when the visits were actually happening, my son never told me any of this stuff. he just started telling me little things here and there recently.

no one seems to care one bit, it's a shame PA cares nothing about their children.

 

[Isis1]

thank you for clearing that up.

the visits were not going well. father didn't show for six months straight. father harasses son during visits telling him "its ok that i hit you, my father did it to me too, doesn't mean i don't love you", he calls him ugly, says he's worthless and all he does is play video games, says things like "your stepfathers a ******" etc... my son spent half his time at the visits in the bathroom throwing up because of how nervous he was to see the man that beat the crap out of him for 2 days.

why should he have to put up with mental abuse during "supervised visits" while father gets away with it? i complain, and the worthless "nannys" don't care a single bit.

these are things that i only recently found out, when the visits were actually happening, my son never told me any of this stuff. he just started telling me little things here and there recently.

no one seems to care one bit, it's a shame PA cares nothing about their children.

maybe i missed it, but WHO is supervising these visits?

 

[LdiJ]

maybe i missed it, but WHO is supervising these visits?

Its a court visitation center. Per her previous description it is one large room with anywhere between 50-75 people in it (parents and children) and just a handful of supervisors to monitor the room.

Therefore parents are free to say just about anything they like to the children without much fear of reprecussions...and this dad is apparently taking advantage of that.

 

[Isis1]

Its a court visitation center. Per her previous description it is one large room with anywhere between 50-75 people in it (parents and children) and just a handful of supervisors to monitor the room.

Therefore parents are free to say just about anything they like to the children without much fear of reprecussions...and this dad is apparently taking advantage of that.

that's what i was afraid of.

there has to be some way this can be put smack in front of a mandated reporter (therapist) without coming off as an overbearing parent.

 

[mommyof4]

maybe i missed it, but WHO is supervising these visits?

From what I understood, this is a visitation center where there are a few 'monitors' that circulate during the visitation period. It's not a supervised visitation where someone is literally sitting in on the visitation period.

OP...what is your atty's suggestion?

 

[Anjelita]

Thank you for the replies, yes, these supervised visits are at our local courthouse nursery. The security is great there, just not the monitoring of what goes on between parent/child. I am not the only one that was having this problem, several of the other parents were complaining as well.

My atty said that son's father's atty agreed to using an outside sup visit company "kids first", where someone monitors the visit the entire time, but NCP does not agree to pay for even a portion of it.

My atty also said that I could pick a family member to facilitate the visits at their home, but then there is no security.

I don't know what else to do, son's father's atty is pressing for visits to resume asap and I don't want to be in contempt...

I am going to call the courthouse nursery to see if they have any suggestions.

 

[MichaCA]

Is it possible for a family member to help supervise at the current place?

 

[Anjelita]

I actually just got off the phone with the court nursery. The head of the nursery suggested that my atty contact the Judge and ask that we wait to resume visits until the custody case is had (may 10th - even tho they will ask for a continuance - criminal pre-trial conference is not till march 24).

She said in her system it shows the original order with the every other sunday visits, but then shows that there have been continuances (for almost a year), and that no other order was put in place (even tho the original one was never terminated), father didn't show up for 6 months so that may have affected the order (depending on the Judge she said).

 

[LdiJ]

I actually just got off the phone with the court nursery. The head of the nursery suggested that my atty contact the Judge and ask that we wait to resume visits until the custody case is had (may 10th - even tho they will ask for a continuance - criminal pre-trial conference is not till march 24).

She said in her system it shows the original order with the every other sunday visits, but then shows that there have been continuances (for almost a year), and that no other order was put in place (even tho the original one was never terminated), father didn't show up for 6 months so that may have affected the order (depending on the Judge she said).

It certainly wouldn't hurt to try that.