Can I request mental health monitoring for custody?

[mrslunar]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

My husband and I will be filing for divorce soon and we have two small sons. The reason that we are divorcing has to do with his mental health issues that he would not treat during the marriage. After we separated he went into therapy briefly and was diagnosed schizophrenic, bi-polar, and depressed. However, like many in the early stages of a bi-polar diagnosis, he feels better and then stops taking his med, which leads him to very severe manic episodes that he often blacks out on.

If possible, I would like to request he be on some sort of monitored, court ordered mental health course of treatment. However, I don't want to do this and have it look like I am being vindictive. We will both be pro per and agree on everything else with the divorce and custody.

Is this possible to do?

 

[WittyUserName]

Has his mental illness caused harm to the children?

 

[mistoffolees]

Has his mental illness caused harm to the children?

In addition, can she PROVE that he has a mental illness and is not being treated for it?

 

[mrslunar]

There were times where we were he was physical with the boys during his episodes while we were together. Since we separated, I honestly don't know what goes on in his house. However, he has had a couple of episodes where he has decided he didn't want the boys and has been out of touch for weeks and he's also attempted to break into my house to abduct them, all while in his "manic" stages.

 

[WittyUserName]

When he got physical with the boys - what was your response to that? Is there any outside documentation of that?

 

[mrslunar]

No outside documentation. And I would leave and take the kids with me. At one point he threatened suicide when I took them so I did call the police, but there is no report. They showed up, he said "I'm fine" and they left.

 

[mistoffolees]

No outside documentation. And I would leave and take the kids with me. At one point he threatened suicide when I took them so I did call the police, but there is no report. They showed up, he said "I'm fine" and they left.

Then it didn't happen as far as the court is concerned. You have to be able to prove your allegations.

 

[WittyUserName]

Without proof, both of his untreated mental illness, and of the impact it has on the children, how are you going to convince a judge? You can't force someone into treatment....

(And you're not necessarily going to be able to make dad adhere to the schedule either, FWIW. If he decides he's uninterested and stays gone for a while there's not much you can do about that.)

 

[mrslunar]

Sad that the system basically says I have to wait for him to hurt his kids in order to do anything. Oh well. Thanks. I figured it was a lost cause.

 

[mistoffolees]

Sad that the system basically says I have to wait for him to hurt his kids in order to do anything.

That's not what it says at all. It says that you need EVIDENCE to back up your allegations. Our system is very hesitant to punish someone merely on someone else's words (look up the Salem Witch Trials).

That doesn't mean you don't have options. You can ask for a GAL to be appointed, for example.

 

[Just Blue]

Sad that the system basically says I have to wait for him to hurt his kids in order to do anything. Oh well. Thanks. I figured it was a lost cause.

No. What is "sad" is a parent that disregards (per your own post) :

There were times where we were he was physical with the boys during his episodes while we were together

And does not report said "physical" actions.

The "system can't read minds. The "system" can only deal with FACTS.

 

[Just Blue]

The FreeAdvice FACT forum NEEDS to review the Posting HX of this "mother".

 

[mrslunar]

That's not what it says at all. It says that you need EVIDENCE to back up your allegations. Our system is very hesitant to punish someone merely on someone else's words (look up the Salem Witch Trials).

That doesn't mean you don't have options. You can ask for a GAL to be appointed, for example.

No, I get it. I've been told by the police they won't do anything till he hurts them or himself. I've seen friends go through it. It's a bummer. I do appreciate the confirmation.

 

[mrslunar]

No. What is "sad" is a parent that disregards (per your own post) :



And does not report said "physical" actions.

The "system can't read minds. The "system" can only deal with FACTS.

And you can't read minds or know what happened based on a very short post.

I wish I had your kind of life to be so easy and sweet. Hopefully you never have the kind of experience I did. Best of luck and thank you for your constructive comments.

 

[Isis1]

Op, before i get really livid from reading your posting history, i'm going to say this. If you did NOT report each and every incident this man has put his children in danger, it is YOUR fault there is no evidence. YOUR fault!