I think I've got it

[mommyanme]

I will tell you though that generally one of two things is going to apply in this case. Either he has a really sleezy attorney who is willing to throw stuff at the wall like this, hoping that it will stick. If so, the judge will likely be accustomed to that from this attorney and might not take it too seriously as a result. OR, he has badly lied to his attorney and his attorney will be furious with him when the attorney finds out.

I really don't think that you should panic yet.

I actually have a great respect for her and have never heard of her to pull out things like this I was actually going to use her myself because she has the rep of being more for the child. My attorney and her are actually friends outside of this because many times she's gone in front of my attorney when he was a district court judge.

 

[InfantCustody]

No he's never tried to see him and the 1 time I was asked he never showed. So that answers the no to him ever having him physically.

For a judge to remove the baby from you, they would need ALLEGATIONS that you are a serious threat to the baby's immediate health and safety. They would need to be credible, or believable threats. Saying you have had counseling or previous mental health care is not going to do it.


He has no problem lying on an affidavit, the criminal charges he filed was lies. But at least after 10 days I'd be able to prove my side. and the judge wouldn't be to happy.



So it will be harder on me and my oldest child, if it were to happen, and unfortunatly no one is considering that although she's not his, she's still affected.
If that happens it will devastate her.



That's what a lot of people keep saying. I've just never seen mud this thick. Maybe once my attorney talks to his this morning she'll reconsider trying the ex parte order. It's in the papers but nothing has been heard so I guess she has a choice.?

I believe if the judge knew he had never seen the baby, the order would be denied before it was heard. The question would be if his attorney is really willing to lie with him at a motion hearing and say he HAS been seeing the baby, etc.

The mud gets thick...really thick. The lies flow freely, they really do.

I wanted to comment on what you were saying regarding your older daughter. I have a 7 year old son and when my baby goes to his Dad's house, I don't make it a distressing or sad experience, or something anyone should be upset about. I actually really build it up for my son that he and Mommy get special time. He loves it. My ex is picking the baby up this afternoon and my son told the baby this morning "I love you, but I can't wait for you to go to your Daddy's house for the night!" He really gets into his "Mommy time." In the event the court did decide to grant him such a hearing and gave him temp custody (which I REALLY think is unlikely, especially if your attorney finds out when it is and shows up) I would just tell your daughter "baby is staying at Daddy's house for a few days" and not let her see the negative emotion behind it. You don't want the baby's time with Dad to be a negative, ever. In the long run, that will make it harder on everyone. Let her see it as a positive and her time with just you...

 

[mommyanme]

Thank You everyone I am begining to feel better.
It is still nerve racking but I have enough respit to sit here and remind myself that my kids need me to get rid of my anger over this, stabilize my emotions and still be willing to co-parent with this man when he finally gives up giving me a mud bath.

As my mom says it shows he's desperate so
********WhoooooooshAaaaaa***** and breathe

 

[MichaCA]

Is your attorney able to file a formal response to the exparte motion? I don't know the time line rules in NC for getting papers filed.

I feel for you. My ex filed several exparte's (all lies) against me...however they were all denied as emergencies and went to regular family law calender.

It sounds like your not clear if you/attorney can show up at the exparte hearing...find out.

 

[LdiJ]

Is your attorney able to file a formal response to the exparte motion? I don't know the time line rules in NC for getting papers filed.

I feel for you. My ex filed several exparte's (all lies) against me...however they were all denied as emergencies and went to regular family law calender.

It sounds like your not clear if you/attorney can show up at the exparte hearing...find out.

They absolutely can show up for the hearing. They just have to find out when it is, which her attorney should be able to find out. A judge can have an exparte hearing with only one party present, but a judge cannot deny a party who knows about the hearing the right to be present.

 

[mommyanme]

They absolutely can show up for the hearing. They just have to find out when it is, which her attorney should be able to find out. A judge can have an exparte hearing with only one party present, but a judge cannot deny a party who knows about the hearing the right to be present.

My attorney tried to call Dad's today and she never called back and he is keeping his ears open for a hearing. He absolutly slammed it into my brain that
Dad's attorney would not risk her repuation and risk being sanctioned for leaving out the fact that dad has never seen the baby and has never had any physical custody of him. He said he could also promise that she would tell dad that if it's full of lies that he would be made to pay my attorney's fees.

He also assured me that judges here do not like to upset a child's stability or upset the status quo and that the laws here even state that an ex parte order is to 1. keep a parent from leaving the jurisdiction,( I can prove I won't I have my attorney) 2. protect the status quo (me) 3. to keep a parent from removing the child from their physical custodian( always been me) 4. protect a child from IMMEDIATE abuse or neglect. (no abuse)

He also said that wih the proof I have against Dad's lies that if they attempted this they would be cutting their own throats and it would set the precedence for the entire case.


I forgot, In their request for ex parte it only stated to keep me fom leaving the jurisdiction and/or from removing the child from the "plaintiffs" physical custody.

 

[InfantCustody]

My attorney tried to call Dad's today and she never called back and he is keeping his ears open for a hearing. He absolutly slammed it into my brain that
Dad's attorney would not risk her repuation and risk being sanctioned for leaving out the fact that dad has never seen the baby and has never had any physical custody of him. He said he could also promise that she would tell dad that if it's full of lies that he would be made to pay my attorney's fees.

He also assured me that judges here do not like to upset a child's stability or upset the status quo and that the laws here even state that an ex parte order is to 1. keep a parent from leaving the jurisdiction,( I can prove I won't I have my attorney) 2. protect the status quo (me) 3. to keep a parent from removing the child from their physical custodian( always been me) 4. protect a child from IMMEDIATE abuse or neglect. (no abuse)

He also said that wih the proof I have against Dad's lies that if they attempted this they would be cutting their own throats and it would set the precedence for the entire case.


I forgot, In their request for ex parte it only stated to keep me fom leaving the jurisdiction and/or from removing the child from the "plaintiffs" physical custody.

Are they asking for an exparte hearing or a Temporary Parenting Arrangement hearing? Some of the language sounds like they would be asking for a TPA hearing. Normally, TPA hearings are what will address or protect the status quo as opposed to exparte which is reserved for very serious circumstances.

Your attorney is correct that Dad's attorney would not stick her neck out there IF Dad has been honest with her. When I showed my attorney all the evidence I have to prove EVERY WORD of Dad's TPA request was a lie, and I asked why his attorney was willing to lie with him, she said "Even the best attorney is only as smart as their client let's them be..."

 

[LdiJ]

My attorney tried to call Dad's today and she never called back and he is keeping his ears open for a hearing. He absolutly slammed it into my brain that
Dad's attorney would not risk her repuation and risk being sanctioned for leaving out the fact that dad has never seen the baby and has never had any physical custody of him. He said he could also promise that she would tell dad that if it's full of lies that he would be made to pay my attorney's fees.

He also assured me that judges here do not like to upset a child's stability or upset the status quo and that the laws here even state that an ex parte order is to 1. keep a parent from leaving the jurisdiction,( I can prove I won't I have my attorney) 2. protect the status quo (me) 3. to keep a parent from removing the child from their physical custodian( always been me) 4. protect a child from IMMEDIATE abuse or neglect. (no abuse)

He also said that wih the proof I have against Dad's lies that if they attempted this they would be cutting their own throats and it would set the precedence for the entire case.


I forgot, In their request for ex parte it only stated to keep me fom leaving the jurisdiction and/or from removing the child from the "plaintiffs" physical custody.

OMG...based on what you have stated regarding dad's attorney that means that dad's attorney not only believes that dad is regularly involved with the child, but that the child primarily lives with dad.

Hon, not only is your attorney going to wipe the mat with this case, but dad's attorney is likely to drop him like a hotcake.

Now, I have to admit that your attorney will probably encourage dad's attorney to simply back off and handle this as a normal case, and if dad's attorney is at all inclined to continue to represent him it may turn out that way...but honestly, dad screwed up here big time.

Stop the panic...just understand that now, one way or another, something is going to end up officially court ordered, and its not going to go dad's way. It might not go 100% your way either, but its definitely not going to go the way dad is hoping.

 

[mistoffolees]

OMG...based on what you have stated regarding dad's attorney that means that dad's attorney not only believes that dad is regularly involved with the child, but that the child primarily lives with dad.

Hon, not only is your attorney going to wipe the mat with this case, but dad's attorney is likely to drop him like a hotcake.

Probably true, but it's not too soon to start gathering evidence. Hopefully, you won't need it, but better to have evidence that you don't need than to get to court and have you each say the child lives with you - and no other evidence, forcing the judge to make a decision.

It's going to be hard, but even for an infant, you can gather evidence. For example, the doctor's records will have your address associated with the child, including immunization records. Bring in doctor's records showing that you are the one who took the child to the doctor. If you've used child care, bring in child care records with your address. You may need to bring in witnesses. And so on. Think of ANYTHING that would have the child associated with your address.

As I said, you shouldn't need it, but you really want to have it - just in case.

 

[mommyanme]

QUOTE=LdiJ;2744788]OMG...based on what you have stated regarding dad's attorney that means that dad's attorney not only believes that dad is regularly involved with the child, but that the child primarily lives with dad.

Hon, not only is your attorney going to wipe the mat with this case, but dad's attorney is likely to drop him like a hotcake.

Now, I have to admit that your attorney will probably encourage dad's attorney to simply back off and handle this as a normal case, and if dad's attorney is at all inclined to continue to represent him it may turn out that way...but honestly, dad screwed up here big time.

Stop the panic...just understand that now, one way or another, something is going to end up officially court ordered, and its not going to go dad's way. It might not go 100% your way either, but its definitely not going to go the way dad is hoping.[/QUOTE]

I've stopped panicking between all of you here and my attorney. I knew the lies screwed up dad's case but I just needed that extra kick to stop the overload.

I'm searching NC cases to see what judges are prone to order for visitation of a baby and that with the advice here is the guideline I'll use when my attorney and I start working it out. really have to like him because being a former district court judge he knows the precedence in the courts and can really guide me with doing the right thing for the baby.

 

[InfantCustody]

QUOTE=LdiJ;2744788]OMG...based on what you have stated regarding dad's attorney that means that dad's attorney not only believes that dad is regularly involved with the child, but that the child primarily lives with dad.

Hon, not only is your attorney going to wipe the mat with this case, but dad's attorney is likely to drop him like a hotcake.

Now, I have to admit that your attorney will probably encourage dad's attorney to simply back off and handle this as a normal case, and if dad's attorney is at all inclined to continue to represent him it may turn out that way...but honestly, dad screwed up here big time.

Stop the panic...just understand that now, one way or another, something is going to end up officially court ordered, and its not going to go dad's way. It might not go 100% your way either, but its definitely not going to go the way dad is hoping.

I've stopped panicking between all of you here and my attorney. I knew the lies screwed up dad's case but I just needed that extra kick to stop the overload.

I'm searching NC cases to see what judges are prone to order for visitation of a baby and that with the advice here is the guideline I'll use when my attorney and I start working it out. really have to like him because being a former district court judge he knows the precedence in the courts and can really guide me with doing the right thing for the baby.[/QUOTE]






I went to court yesterday in NC (Meck CO) and the judge gave Dad 9 am day 1 to 4 pm day 2 1 time per week, plus a 6 hour visit, until 6 months. As of 6 months, Dad gets 48 consecutive hours per week. His request for 50/50 was denied. My attorney said judges rarely delay overnight visitation beyond 6 months without good cause and with two parents who are "reasonably fit" and desire to be involved with the baby's life.

 

[mommyanme]

Probably true, but it's not too soon to start gathering evidence. Hopefully, you won't need it, but better to have evidence that you don't need than to get to court and have you each say the child lives with you - and no other evidence, forcing the judge to make a decision.

It's going to be hard, but even for an infant, you can gather evidence. For example, the doctor's records will have your address associated with the child, including immunization records. Bring in doctor's records showing that you are the one who took the child to the doctor. If you've used child care, bring in child care records with your address. You may need to bring in witnesses. And so on. Think of ANYTHING that would have the child associated with your address.

As I said, you shouldn't need it, but you really want to have it - just in case.

Baby boy is in early intervention therapy and has been for 3 months, They do a home study and provide me a copy.

I have all doctors records including sick visits listing me as the only parent bringing baby

I have the text offering him to come see the baby on a saturday and him saying he was on his way sunday

All my neighbors are jumping at this and friends, my neighborhood is small we all watch for each other and they adore the baby.

The stores close to my house always see me with him and the girls are ready to go.

and pictures pictures pictures

When I took my drug test for the USPS today he was with me. I have so many people that see me with him daily.

 

[mistoffolees]

Baby boy is in early intervention therapy and has been for 3 months, They do a home study and provide me a copy.

I have all doctors records including sick visits listing me as the only parent bringing baby

I have the text offering him to come see the baby on a saturday and him saying he was on his way sunday

All my neighbors are jumping at this and friends, my neighborhood is small we all watch for each other and they adore the baby.

The stores close to my house always see me with him and the girls are ready to go.

and pictures pictures pictures

When I took my drug test for the USPS today he was with me. I have so many people that see me with him daily.

Sounds like you've got it covered. Just bring all that stuff with you to court and it should be as close to a slam dunk as these things ever are.

In fact, Dad my find himself facing perjury charges.

 

[LdiJ]

I went to court yesterday in NC (Meck CO) and the judge gave Dad 9 am day 1 to 4 pm day 2 1 time per week, plus a 6 hour visit, until 6 months. As of 6 months, Dad gets 48 consecutive hours per week. His request for 50/50 was denied. My attorney said judges rarely delay overnight visitation beyond 6 months without good cause and with two parents who are "reasonably fit" and desire to be involved with the baby's life.

In your case dad was not a complete stranger to the child. The OP's case will not mirror yours, at least not at first.

 

[mommyanme]

Dad's attorney is about to be blind sided

My attorney talked to Dad's finally and her words were. "we want a hearing to establish some kind of visitation and Dad is a great guy."

When the answer comes out I have a feeling she's going to be upset. I am supposed to get with my attorney after next monday to do the answer and I don't know if we should hit hard or show I've been willing and still willing to work with dad?

The way my attorney thinks is we should show that dad claimed a mental disorder to the military and they ruled him with dissociative disorder and that he attempted to commit suicide and he wants to add where dad had threatened more then once to sign over his rights if he had to pay child support.(I have proof from dad's texts and messages from email and a messenger service.) And my attorney has a supeona for his VA records already done.

I don't want to keep the arguing going but at the same time Dad needs a reallity check and so does his attorney.

Which way should I have my attorney go?