Step-parent adoption question....

[cdlandrum]

Arkansas.

I have a 4 year old daughter who is biologically my ex fiance's. We were never married, we did get the marriage license, but called it off a week before the wedding when I discovered I was pregnant. So the license was never completed or filed. He has denied paternity since the day I told him I was pregnant. I have never pursued him in any way. I haven't filed for child support, have never made him take a paternity test, nothing. I gave him the courtesy of a phone call when she was born, and he continued to deny she was his. I haven't even spoken to him in a little over four years.

Now, I've been married for almost 2 years, and my husband has raised my daughter as his own. We would like for him to be able to adopt her. She has my maiden name, and there is no father listed on her birth certificate. I do know how to find my ex, but I strongly prefer not to. He's never wanted anything to do with her, and I don't imagine he'd start now, aside from just to be a nuisance to me.

How would we go about having my husband legally adopt her? Preferably with very little or no contact with my ex....

 

[Proserpina]

Arkansas.

I have a 4 year old daughter who is biologically my ex fiance's. We were never married, we did get the marriage license, but called it off a week before the wedding when I discovered I was pregnant. So the license was never completed or filed. He has denied paternity since the day I told him I was pregnant. I have never pursued him in any way. I haven't filed for child support, have never made him take a paternity test, nothing. I gave him the courtesy of a phone call when she was born, and he continued to deny she was his. I haven't even spoken to him in a little over four years.

Now, I've been married for almost 2 years, and my husband has raised my daughter as his own. We would like for him to be able to adopt her. She has my maiden name, and there is no father listed on her birth certificate. I do know how to find my ex, but I strongly prefer not to. He's never wanted anything to do with her, and I don't imagine he'd start now, aside from just to be a nuisance to me.

How would we go about having my husband legally adopt her? Preferably with very little or no contact with my ex....

Call an attorney in the morning.

Dad WILL need to be at least notified.

 

[cdlandrum]

I am perfectly aware that I will need an attorney to do this. I just want to know how hard it will be so that I will have "all my ducks in a row" before I get started.

 

[Proserpina]

I am perfectly aware that I will need an attorney to do this. I just want to know how hard it will be so that I will have "all my ducks in a row" before I get started.

I'm sure you're also perfectly aware that nobody can gauge how hard or easy this will be.

If Dad objects? Adoption may be impossible and to add to your fun, you may have a visitation/custody suit to deal with.

If he doesn't? Well, you still need an attorney to make sure that all the Ts and Is are crossed and dotted just to ensure that Dad can't come back in 3 years, cry foul and have the whole thing overturned on a technicality.

 

[mistoffolees]

I'm sure you're also perfectly aware that nobody can gauge how hard or easy this will be.

If Dad objects? Adoption may be impossible and to add to your fun, you may have a visitation/custody suit to deal with.

If he doesn't? Well, you still need an attorney to make sure that all the Ts and Is are crossed and dotted just to ensure that Dad can't come back in 3 years, cry foul and have the whole thing overturned on a technicality.

Which is why it may be better not to stir up a hornet's nest. OP and her husband have the child 100% of the time without interference. The only problem is that if OP dies, then Dad would have the ability to exercise his rights. However there are two factors:
- If Mom doesn't know how to find Dad, it is possible that Dad would never find out - and even if they search for him, it may not be possible to find him.
- AR recognizes de facto parents.
The National Voice of Foster Parents
Another source specifically states that the while it's not automatic, the court CAN award custody to a stepparent, but that there's a preference for the natural parent. In this case where Dad has never been in the child's life, it could be argued that best interests would be for the stepparent to have custody:
Divorce Source: Table: Stepparent's Right to Request Custody or Visitation
"(4) Arkansas: No statute. Stair v. Phillips, 315 Ark. 429, 867 S.W.2d 453 (1993) (stepparent has no right to custody of stepchild after divorce); Stamps v. Rawlins, 297 Ark. 220, 761 S.W.2d 933 (1988) (interpreting Ark. Code Ann. 9-13-101, which provides that court can award custody of "child of marriage," court held that it could award custody of stepchild to stepparent, but that there was a natural parental preference in such a custody dispute). "

The husband would probably have standing to sue for custody in this scenario. It could be that Mom naming husband as the guardian in her will would be sufficient to establish her wishes - which might make the argument for de facto parenting stronger.
(Keep in mind, of course, that if they move out of Arkansas, the local laws on de fact parenting would apply).

In any event, those issues should be discussed with a local attorney.