I had a heck of a workday today and haven't read this thread since I left for work this morning, but I have to say that I ditto what CJane has said in her last few posts and want to add the following:
What would a fit/innocent parent have done if they woke up one morning and changed the baby's diaper and seen what dad MUST have seen? Would a fit/innocent parent have simply turned the child over to the other parent or would the fit/innocent parent have immediately been on the horn to the other parent stating that "we have to get this baby to the doctor immediately, something is very wrong"?...or heck, even rushed to the emergency room or an emergency clinic while calling the other parent to let them know what was going on?
Can any one of you who feel that mom is "off" here state that you would have handled things the way that dad handled them?
Even if dad and his household is totally innocent of abuse and it was an allergic reaction that somehow got past 4 doctors and responded to treatment as a burn even though it was an allergic reaction

dad is at least guilty of medical neglect.
Doctors are NOT going to diagnose severe diaper rash as burns...come on people...get some logic going here. So either the child was burned and needed immediate medical attention or the child had a severe allergic reaction and needed immediate medical attention, neither one of which dad made any effort to obtain.