strange situation

[vanrocky]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) tn
In my divorce i want to try to work everything out without going to court. I have a bad situation, tho. Im wondering if i should throw out a figure for support or should i go to court? Will the judge take into account the mess that he has caused in my life and my three kids (10,13,14)? I can get into it if u need to know. Its bad. There is a moral issue as well, do i want to get everything i can? When i think of my kids i do? He makes $75000 and i make $23000. I feel i need it in addition to child support for the kids. I dont have much potential for making more money. No experience for 12 of the 15 years of marriage. Ive worked there 3 years and its a good, stable, close job. It pays good compared to other jobs in food service. Any advice is great.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law) tn
In my divorce i want to try to work everything out without going to court. I have a bad situation, tho. Im wondering if i should throw out a figure for support or should i go to court? Will the judge take into account the mess that he has caused in my life and my three kids (10,13,14)? I can get into it if u need to know. Its bad. There is a moral issue as well, do i want to get everything i can? When i think of my kids i do? He makes $75000 and i make $23000. I feel i need it in addition to child support for the kids. I dont have much potential for making more money. No experience for 12 of the 15 years of marriage. Ive worked there 3 years and its a good, stable, close job. It pays good compared to other jobs in food service. Any advice is great.

You do stand a very good chance at getting at least rehabilitative spousal support.

When determining the amount of support and whether or not it is to be a temporary or permanent order, the court will consider the following factors:

(1) the value of any separate or marital property owned by the spouses;
(2) whether the spouse seeking alimony is the custodian of a child whose circumstances make it appropriate for that spouse not to seek outside employment;
(3) the need for sufficient education and training to enable the spouse to find appropriate employment;
(4) the standard of living while married;
(5) the length of the marriage;
(6) the comparative financial resources of the spouses, including their comparative earning abilities in the labor market and any retirement, pension, or profit-sharing benefits;
(7) the needs and obligations of each spouse;
(8) the contributions each spouse made to the marriage and the acquisition of marital assets;
(9) the relative education and training of the spouses and the opportunity of each party to secure education and training;
(10) the age of the spouses;
(11) the health condition of the spouse;
(12) the tax ramifications of any award;
(13) the usual occupation of the spouses during the marriage;
(14) the job skills and employability of the spouse seeking alimony;
(15) the marital conduct of the spouses during the marriage; and
(16) any other factor the court deems just and equitable. (Tennessee Code - Volume 6A, Title 36, Sections 36-4-101)

I strongly suggest you speak with a local attorney and get this sorted out in court; focus less on "getting him" and more on letting the court decide what's actually fair.

Court orders actually protect all of you.

 

[vanrocky]

Thanks its just so expensive for a lawyer in court. #15 on the list (not just adultry, its criminal) really sucks. Blinded for 15 years. But whats a few bucks when its my childrens well being at stake?

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks its just so expensive for a lawyer in court. #15 on the list (not just adultry, its criminal) really sucks. Blinded for 15 years. But whats a few bucks when its my childrens well being at stake?

Kids are more resilient than we usually give them credit for being; the kids will be fine if the parents can look past the anger and bitterness and work for what's best for the kids.



You don't necessarily need an attorney, but it's honestly recommended. Sometimes legal aid can help you - have you called around? The State Bar Association can also give you a low-cost referral.

http://www.tba.org/lawbytes/T1_1000.html

Otherwise, stick around the forum and start reading old posts. You'll get a good idea of how custody/visitation will likely work and what to expect in terms of the process itself.