I want to change my children's last name

[MegSnyd]

We are planning to do the adoption but can only afford to handle one attorney retainer at a time. The custody issues with my step daughter are more pressing and the name change is the quickest thing to do at the moment without the added cost at least until next summer.

 

[mistoffolees]

We are planning to do the adoption but can only afford to handle one attorney retainer at a time. The custody issues with my step daughter are more pressing and the name change is the quickest thing to do at the moment without the added cost at least until next summer.

Seriously, what's the hurry. I really doubt that a 1 and 3 year old even know what their last name is.

And your original post claimed "They would like to take his last name". Sorry, but I can't imagine that a 1 or 3 year old got it into their heads to change their last name.

 

[ecmst12]

They were 1 and 3 when dad died. They are 5 and 7 now. And really, it's better to just wait.

 

[dannyt]

what a horrible thing to see

My children are 7 amd 5 now with a step sister who has my husband last name. They all go to the same school so when the other children tease them about not being "real" Brothers and Sisters its hurts their feelings. The only reason the idea was brought up was because my daughter asked for it. As for their biological father, my son remembers nothing of him and my daughter only remembers finding his body after he hung himself. While i do make sure they know who he was and some of the nicer things about him, no i do not push them to remember, it brings up to many questions.

omg. i hope you have the kids in counseling. i wish you all the best and hope things work out for you. my god those poor kids, especially your daughter

 

[mistoffolees]

My children are 7 amd 5 now with a step sister who has my husband last name. They all go to the same school so when the other children tease them about not being "real" Brothers and Sisters its hurts their feelings. The only reason the idea was brought up was because my daughter asked for it. As for their biological father, my son remembers nothing of him and my daughter only remembers finding his body after he hung himself. While i do make sure they know who he was and some of the nicer things about him, no i do not push them to remember, it brings up to many questions.

Changing their name won't make them 'real' brothers and sisters. If the kids want to pick on them, they will.

You'll be doing your kids a much bigger favor in the long run by teaching them to have the self esteem to ignore stupid taunts.

(Oh, and btw, I doubt very much that that would be going on without some instigation. Kids in school today deal with kids who have stepparents all the time. In my daughter's school, there is no discernible difference between the way kids with 'real' families and stepfamilies are treated. If they started picking on kids who have divorce somewhere in the family or something non-traditional, EVERY kid would have to be ostracized for some reason or another.)

 

[ecmst12]

If they started picking on kids who have divorce somewhere in the family or something non-traditional, EVERY kid would have to be ostracized for some reason or another.

Like I said, kids will ALWAYS tease each other about something, non-traditional family is just one of many easy targets, if it wasn't that it would be something else, and there is ALWAYS something different about every child that they can and will be picked on for, at one time or another. It's universal and trying to change whatever they are teasing about this week won't make the teasing stop, it will just teach the victim that he should try to change to please his attackers...not a good habit to get into.