Don't know what to do!!

[wlee57]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

My 19 year old son tells us that the girlfriend that he broke up with last month is now going to have a baby. He states that they are planning to put the child up for adoption. That leaves us out in the dark as far as having a grandchild that we will never know. What options are out there since we have no idea what to do and they do not plan to marry? Both are in community college and both have minium wage part time jobs.

Thanks for any advice

 

[CSO286]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

My 19 year old son tells us that the girlfriend that he broke up with last month is now going to have a baby. He states that they are planning to put the child up for adoption. That leaves us out in the dark as far as having a grandchild that we will never know. What options are out there since we have no idea what to do and they do not plan to marry? Both are in community college and both have minium wage part time jobs.

Thanks for any advice

If they wish to give the child up for adoption, then you simply will not have a grandchild. And if they do, kudos to them for making an incredibly difficult choice and putting the child first in their lives.

You have no legal rights to prevent the adoption.

If she decides to keep the child, you will not have a grandchild until/unless paternity is established and your son is declared the child's legal father.

 

[mistoffolees]

If they wish to give the child up for adoption, then you simply will not have a grandchild. And if they do, kudos to them for making an incredibly difficult choice and putting the child first in their lives.

You have no legal rights to prevent the adoption.

If she decides to keep the child, you will not have a grandchild until/unless paternity is established and your son is declared the child's legal father.

I'd go one step further. OP asks "Don't know what to do!!". I would say that the thing to do is to support their son (and his GF if she wants contact with them) and let them know that you will support their decision in any way that you can.

They don't owe you a grandchild. But if you are mature adults now, you have a better chance of being part of any future grandchildren's lives.

 

[Antigone*]

I'd go one step further. OP asks "Don't know what to do!!". I would say that the thing to do is to support their son (and his GF if she wants contact with them) and let them know that you will support their decision in any way that you can.

They don't owe you a grandchild. But if you are mature adults now, you have a better chance of being part of any future grandchildren's lives.

I'd take it just a bit further. There is no evidence that their son is the child-to-be's father. Hence, until he is proven to be the father, he is not.

 

[CSO286]

I'd take it just a bit further. There is no evidence that their son is the child-to-be's father. Hence, until he is proven to be the father, he is not.

Thought I got that one?

If she decides to keep the child, you will not have a grandchild until/unless paternity is established and your son is declared the child's legal father.

 

[Antigone*]

Thought I got that one?

you did. I missed that one

 

[CSO286]

you did. I missed that one

Wet noodle beatings commence at sundown.

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New Jersey

My 19 year old son tells us that the girlfriend that he broke up with last month is now going to have a baby. He states that they are planning to put the child up for adoption. That leaves us out in the dark as far as having a grandchild that we will never know. What options are out there since we have no idea what to do and they do not plan to marry? Both are in community college and both have minium wage part time jobs.

Thanks for any advice

In my opinion - this is the most adult decsion these two can make. To place a baby for adoption with a loving and financially secure family when you know you can not provide for the child is the most selfless thing that can be done.

If the baby is placed and the adoption is finalized, you will not have a grandchild - you have to face that - there is legally NOTHING you can do...please do not disrupt their plans - it sounds like they are making the right decision for the baby and for them.