My dad needs child support help . . . jail . . .

[Proserpina]

What astounds me is that MOM is the bad guy here. She has apparently done her best to raise this/these brat(s) w/o Dad's help, and SHE is the bad guy? Wow.

OP? You should be ashamed of yourself. Really. Totally and completely ashamed.

*wild applause*

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

What astounds me is that MOM is the bad guy here. She has apparently done her best to raise this/these brat(s) w/o Dad's help, and SHE is the bad guy? Wow.

OP? You should be ashamed of yourself. Really. Totally and completely ashamed.

Like she has all these years, mom will continue to shoulder the load, while dad plays.

 

[Ohiogal]

Children are supposed eat DAILY?


Why didn't anyone tell me???

I've been feeding LittleCSO once, myabe twice, a week.

oops!

You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: If you really believe that I think YOU SUCK then you do NOT know me at all.

 

[Proserpina]

You SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: If you really believe that I think YOU SUCK then you do NOT know me at all.

(Knows, gets it )

 

[CSO286]

(Knows, gets it )

What she said.

 

[NellieBly]

I remember a good friend of mine (an adult woman) going out and shoveling snow at a business, then going to her regular job, in order to support her kids.

I think she might have liked a career as a landscape painter.

 

[CSO286]

I remember a good friend of mine (an adult woman) going out and shoveling snow at a business, then going to her regular job, in order to support her kids.

I think she might have liked a career as a landscape painter.

Heck, I'd like to be a writer, or maybe spend my time knitting and designing patterns.....


Instead, I've worked up to four jobs at a time in order to provide for LittleCSO when her NCP wasn't paying support.

 

[raedar]

A little background . . . my mom is abusive and an addict. Whoever is operating under the assumption that we're going after her to kick up some ****, or that she is the victim here somehow, is sadly mistaken. My dad has paid her whenever he could for the past decade - I know this because I've seen the checks and I've unfortunately seen where they went as well. Moreover, it was my mom that told me about this to begin with . . . not to inform me but to rub my nose in it. She's currently going through her second divorce and has another child support issue on the sidelines with another addict, and my two half-brothers are going through the same bull**** we did.

I am not a "brat" nor are my three sisters . . . we're all good people, and my sister and I work our asses off FT to pay our way through school (my mom has a successful career as an RN but chose not to help either of us with college).

I'm startled by the snobbery that was posted in response to my question. There's a difference between hard facts and blatant coldheartedness. This has been a very difficult few weeks. My dad is in jail now, and my sister and I are currently working on coming up with bail money.

My mom left my dad the week my sister was born after cheating on him for twelve years. I find it hard to be flippant about my parents' makeup sex, as well as the matter of the divorce in general. For anyone who's been through it, it's an emotional and difficult journey that echoes well into adulthood.

Thanks for the feedback.

 

[NellieBly]

Why did your dad not sue for custody, if your mom is so bad? I would move heaven and hell to take custody of my kid from such a person.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

It is nice that you and your sister love your father enough to try and help him. That does not excuse his irresponsible behavior though. All he needs to do is pay the support he owes, to stay out of jail. It is a simple process.

 

[mistoffolees]

Why did your dad not sue for custody, if your mom is so bad? I would move heaven and hell to take custody of my kid from such a person.

I agree.

And OP's sense of entitlement is showing:

my mom has a successful career as an RN but chose not to help either of us with college

Sorry, but nursing jobs in most cities are enough to live on without having to worry about your next meal is coming from, but it's probably not enough to comfortably pay for 2 college educations. Heck, I make a lot more than a nurse does and I'd still expect my daughter to pay a significant portion of her college - unless she earns a free ride from working hard in high school.

 

[Antigone*]

It is nice that you and your sister love your father enough to try and help him. That does not excuse his irresponsible behavior though. All he needs to do is pay the support he owes, to stay out of jail. It is a simple process.

I applaud written and bolded legal truth here.

I frankly could care less about mom's behaviour ~ it has nothing to do with dad being in jail.

If dad believed that mom was so bad, he should have loved his children enough to help them out of the "horrific" situation they lived in.

The root cause is dad not adhering to a court order. Now is his children come up with the purge amount to pay to mom and get him out of jail, that is on them. It is sad to see that parents suck so badly at being parents that their kids have to bear the burden.

 

[CSO286]

....she earns a free ride from working hard in high school.

I'm working on LittleCSO's scholarship potential already.....I'll help, but I expect her to earn her own (nearly) free ride to uni.

(Plus--county jobs? They don't pays as well as you'd think.)

 

[raedar]

I was able to make it to college with scholarships, however I went out of state. There's no sense of entitlement to be had. My sister is in-state and is paying her own way through Grand Valley. My mom can afford two new cars (not used) and frequent trips offshore but there's no help from her for either of us. When we ask we're spewed with vitriol.

Our situation was never horrific, but it was subtle and demeaning and he tried multiple times to get custody. We were plied with guilt when we proposed a move.

I don't feel any particular urge to expound on this any more; as I mentioned, I'm a little put off by the attitude of these posters. Anyways it's already a pretty sh!tty afternoon. Thanks anyways.

 

[Silverplum]

I'll toss in my two cents:

A little background . . . my mom is abusive and an addict. Whoever is operating under the assumption that we're going after her to kick up some ****, or that she is the victim here somehow, is sadly mistaken. My dad has paid her whenever he could for the past decade - I know this because I've seen the checks and I've unfortunately seen where they went as well. Moreover, it was my mom that told me about this to begin with . . . not to inform me but to rub my nose in it. She's currently going through her second divorce and has another child support issue on the sidelines with another addict, and my two half-brothers are going through the same bull**** we did.

I am not a "brat" nor are my three sisters . . . we're all good people, and my sister and I work our asses off FT to pay our way through school (my mom has a successful career as an RN but chose not to help either of us with college).

Your Mom must be one heckuva good-at-it addict.

And it's not any Parental or Moral or Legal Requirement (without a court order) that a parent must spend their hard-earned money to send a child or two to college.

I'm startled by the snobbery that was posted in response to my question. There's a difference between hard facts and blatant coldheartedness.

We disagree, obviously. In the end, it's not our "job" to hold your hand.

This has been a very difficult few weeks. My dad is in jail now, and my sister and I are currently working on coming up with bail money.

Your choice. Nice of you.

My mom left my dad the week my sister was born after cheating on him for twelve years. I find it hard to be flippant about my parents' makeup sex, as well as the matter of the divorce in general. For anyone who's been through it, it's an emotional and difficult journey that echoes well into adulthood.

And yet, it's their business. Their marriage. Their divorce. Their court battle/s.

And Dad had a court order to follow: he didn't. His choice. His problem.

You need to learn to disengage yourself from their personal problems. Divorce yourself from it, if you will.

Thanks for the feedback.

You probably can't know how much we really wish you'd listen to us.