What can we do?

[tateandbosmommy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Okay. Im gonna try to make this short and to the point.

My friends family (family a) is adopting a baby girl (at birth, shes due in january) from family b.

They have already been to court. Father b signed over his rights completely and mother b signed the consent forms. They did this because they already have 2 boys who were removed from their care by DCFS and they were trying to keep dcfs from being involved with this little girl. Im not sure why the boys were removed but I believe it has something to do with drug use and we believe mother b is still using.

After the papers were signed mother b and father b slowly started testing the limits of what they could get family a to do for them. Family a has already been through one adoption and knows that legally they can only buy stuff for the birth mother and only stuff that directly has to do with the baby's health (food, dr. prescribed medication, trips to dr.s visit etc).

Mother a got a phonecall the other night from mother b saying that they wer homeless and had slept in the park and were wanting family a to get them a hotel room. Mother a contacted her lawyer and the lawyer said they could get them a room for only one night and that it had to be turned in to her. So they did only that.

Since then mother b has contacted mother a and basically solicited her baby. She told mother a that if she did not buy them a hotel room for a couple weeks then obviously she did not care enough about the baby to get to adopt her.

Mother a is in shambles. She is completely devastated over this and has resigned to the fact that she has lost this little girl. She of course did not put them up in a hotel room. She is going to call thier caseworker and discuss it with them.

My question is, is there anything family a can do to better their chances of getting this baby?? I know its completely up to family b, but is there any merit in signing the consent forms. Can they fight it considering the circumstances.

Also, if the adoption is no longer possible, what can they do to get that baby out of that home. No matter where it goes, mother a feels it will not be safe with family b. (They suspect drug use and theft) Should they contact the police seeing that they basically tried to sell the child, or should they keep this between them and the lawyers? Is there any sort of child advocate they could hire to make sure baby is safe after she has born?

Mother A has definately grown attached to this baby already and just wants to make sure she has a safe and happy life.

Thanks in advance. I know im probably not going to hear the answers I want to hear but it will make me feel better hearing from someone who knows the truth.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Adoption- 1. You pays your money and you takes your chances.

I am sure children's services would not want the child in the street. I suggest OP's friend try interacting with them.

 

[Antigone*]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

Okay. Im gonna try to make this short and to the point.

My friends family (family a) is adopting a baby girl (at birth, shes due in january) from family b.

They have already been to court. Father b signed over his rights completely and mother b signed the consent forms. They did this because they already have 2 boys who were removed from their care by DCFS and they were trying to keep dcfs from being involved with this little girl. Im not sure why the boys were removed but I believe it has something to do with drug use and we believe mother b is still using.

After the papers were signed mother b and father b slowly started testing the limits of what they could get family a to do for them. Family a has already been through one adoption and knows that legally they can only buy stuff for the birth mother and only stuff that directly has to do with the baby's health (food, dr. prescribed medication, trips to dr.s visit etc).

Mother a got a phonecall the other night from mother b saying that they wer homeless and had slept in the park and were wanting family a to get them a hotel room. Mother a contacted her lawyer and the lawyer said they could get them a room for only one night and that it had to be turned in to her. So they did only that.

Since then mother b has contacted mother a and basically solicited her baby. She told mother a that if she did not buy them a hotel room for a couple weeks then obviously she did not care enough about the baby to get to adopt her.

Mother a is in shambles. She is completely devastated over this and has resigned to the fact that she has lost this little girl. She of course did not put them up in a hotel room. She is going to call thier caseworker and discuss it with them.

My question is, is there anything family a can do to better their chances of getting this baby?? I know its completely up to family b, but is there any merit in signing the consent forms. Can they fight it considering the circumstances.

Also, if the adoption is no longer possible, what can they do to get that baby out of that home. No matter where it goes, mother a feels it will not be safe with family b. (They suspect drug use and theft) Should they contact the police seeing that they basically tried to sell the child, or should they keep this between them and the lawyers? Is there any sort of child advocate they could hire to make sure baby is safe after she has born?

Mother A has definately grown attached to this baby already and just wants to make sure she has a safe and happy life.

Thanks in advance. I know im probably not going to hear the answers I want to hear but it will make me feel better hearing from someone who knows the truth.

I am sorry but there is no baby yet. This couple already has an attorney, there is nothing an internet forum can do for you that thier attorney isn't already taking care of a million times better.

Support your friend and stay out of her legal issues.

 

[momofrose]

As an adoptive mom, I feel your friends pain..I really do. Prior to our son's birthmom choosing us to be the parents for her baby, we were matched with a birthmom in Tennessee. While we did not go through exactly what she is, it was similar.

The thing about domestic adoption is it really is a "crap shoot". I hate to use those words, but many domestic adoption tries, fail due to the parents (bio) changing their minds, or soliciting money that the possible adoptive parents either don't have or don;t feel right about giving.

The fact that they signed "consent forms" means a whole lotta NOTHING. Until the adoption is finalized, their decisin can be changed at any stage in the game.

I also think their is NO proof that mom is trying to sell her baby. Is she using the baby as collateral? Yes, but she is not flat out selling her baby. We actually paid rent for the last three months for our son's birthmom as well as paid some utilities, and bought her some groceries. All were well within the limits as defined by law (in FLA anyway). I don't think asking for help with $$ for a place to stay is that big of a deal. Did the attoney say she shouldn't pay for a room for a couple of weeks? Did you friend tell the mom that she would love to, but was unable because of her attorney's advice?

In the long run, it appears as though the relationship between mother andpossible adoptive mom has been damaged, possible beyond repair.

As a matter of law - there is no recourse and nothing that can be done abuot this adoption going forward...sorry