Grandma missed another visit

[catlvr976]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Ok, I've posted here before about my former MIL. To recap, we moved at the end of July, in Aug, she was to come visit at our new place (which she did) and then 2 weeks later, I came down to visit. We had a review in September and we are to continue alternating visits once/month every other month, with me driving down, and her coming up. She told me in Oct that she's done with court, she's done trying to prove how good a gma she is, etc and that she won't be making it to any of her visits here at my home.

I emailed my attorney today since she did indeed miss this month's visit. He told me that she will have no basis to proceed (whatever that means) at our next review come March. Gma wants my kids unsupervised, and overnight. My kids don't want that, and quite frankly, neither do I. Her and her entire family blame me for my h's suicide.

So, since Aug, she's come up 1x, I've been down 2x (since nothing was scheduled in Sept). She's ignored 2 of my dd's birthdays, and since Aug, has only spoken to them 1x on the phone and seen them those 2x I've brought them down.

I don't understand what's going to happen in March, if she doesn't show for court, what happens? If she does show, what will happen to her? She's consistently missed visits, but for whatever reason, nothing has been changing as far as her visits are concerned. Why can't she lose her visits? Why do I have to constantly hold up my end of the order, and she can do whatever she wants with no repercussion?

And again, what is this "no basis to proceed" business?

Thank you kindly for your reply.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

Ok, I've posted here before about my former MIL. To recap, we moved at the end of July, in Aug, she was to come visit at our new place (which she did) and then 2 weeks later, I came down to visit. We had a review in September and we are to continue alternating visits once/month every other month, with me driving down, and her coming up. She told me in Oct that she's done with court, she's done trying to prove how good a gma she is, etc and that she won't be making it to any of her visits here at my home.

I emailed my attorney today since she did indeed miss this month's visit. He told me that she will have no basis to proceed (whatever that means) at our next review come March. Gma wants my kids unsupervised, and overnight. My kids don't want that, and quite frankly, neither do I. Her and her entire family blame me for my h's suicide.

So, since Aug, she's come up 1x, I've been down 2x (since nothing was scheduled in Sept). She's ignored 2 of my dd's birthdays, and since Aug, has only spoken to them 1x on the phone and seen them those 2x I've brought them down.

I don't understand what's going to happen in March, if she doesn't show for court, what happens? If she does show, what will happen to her? She's consistently missed visits, but for whatever reason, nothing has been changing as far as her visits are concerned. Why can't she lose her visits? Why do I have to constantly hold up my end of the order, and she can do whatever she wants with no repercussion?

And again, what is this "no basis to proceed" business?

Thank you kindly for your reply.

I am trying to think of an alternate way to explain what your attorney means by no basis to proceed.

Basically, grandma has demonstrated that she does not feel strongly enough about spending time with her grandchildren to do what she needs to do to make it happen. Therefore, she has no basis to continue to press her case for gpv.

If she does not show for court in March, then most likely the case for gpv will end up being dismissed or vacated if your attorney handles it properly.

 

[Zigner]

Maybe Grandma Got Run Ove...ok, I won't go there...

 

[CSO286]

I am trying to think of an alternate way to explain what your attorney means by no basis to proceed.

Basically, grandma has demonstrated that she does not feel strongly enough about spending time with her grandchildren to do what she needs to do to make it happen. Therefore, she has no basis to continue to press her case for gpv.
If she does not show for court in March, then most likely the case for gpv will end up being dismissed or vacated if your attorney handles it properly.

Basically LDiJ has it right. Even if Gma were to puch for a hearing to get more time, it would go something like this:

Gma: Your Honor, I would like you to order my grandkids to be with me unsupervised, overnight one weekend/mth.

You: Your Honor, I would request that all court ordere visitation be terminated as Gma travelled for only two of her ___ scheduled visits.

Judge: How may of the visits did you attend over the last X months?

Gma: uhhhh.....two.

Judge: And can you proivde the court with any reason why should it order more time when it appears you are unable to follow through and utilize the time that was granted?

Gma: uuuhhhhhh.....

 

[muchneededhelp]

Maybe Grandma Got Run Ove...ok, I won't go there...

That would require her coming home from their house Christmas Eve, and she don't want to travel

 

[Proserpina]

That would require her coming home from their house Christmas Eve, and she don't want to travel

You guys just made me Ell Oh Ell so loud I made the dog jump.

 

[catlvr976]

Thanks for the laugh; you need to be able to laugh in situations like this....it helps.

I sincerely hope you are correct. I'm tired of playing this game with her, I'm tired of piling up legal fees from all this as well and I'm sick of her using my kids. They keep having these reviews and I keep getting told that our hearing officer is just going to eventually give her unsupervised visits with my kids and overnights. Despite the fact that she has continually failed to show, except for maybe a few times where she actually was consistent. I don't understand that. Maybe I have the worst hearing officer in the world, cause it seems like they care more about g-ma's rights than my own kids well being. I feel like I'm the only one advocating for my girls. Does anyone know how to get around this with that hearing officer?

Too bad there isn't some way I could sue her for all the money I've had to pay out to fight her. Especially since I've known from day one that she doesn't really care to see my girls and I've tried to show that in court over and over and over. G-ma has forced me to use money on an attorney that I could've used for my girls.

I wouldn't really sue her anyway, but it would be nice if she could finally face some type of repercussion from her actions.

She doesn't deserve to have my girls in her life after all she's done to them and how she's disrespected them and I so hope you all are correct and I can get this whole thing dismissed.

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks for the laugh; you need to be able to laugh in situations like this....it helps.

I sincerely hope you are correct. I'm tired of playing this game with her, I'm tired of piling up legal fees from all this as well and I'm sick of her using my kids. They keep having these reviews and I keep getting told that our hearing officer is just going to eventually give her unsupervised visits with my kids and overnights. Despite the fact that she has continually failed to show, except for maybe a few times where she actually was consistent. I don't understand that. Maybe I have the worst hearing officer in the world, cause it seems like they care more about g-ma's rights than my own kids well being. I feel like I'm the only one advocating for my girls. Does anyone know how to get around this with that hearing officer?

Too bad there isn't some way I could sue her for all the money I've had to pay out to fight her. Especially since I've known from day one that she doesn't really care to see my girls and I've tried to show that in court over and over and over. G-ma has forced me to use money on an attorney that I could've used for my girls.

I wouldn't really sue her anyway, but it would be nice if she could finally face some type of repercussion from her actions.

She doesn't deserve to have my girls in her life after all she's done to them and how she's disrespected them and I so hope you all are correct and I can get this whole thing dismissed.

Grandma has been spending money too, probably more than you, and that may very well be what is motivating her to kind of give up at this point. She really doesn't care enough to spend all her money continuing the case.

I do know however some parents who sued the gps after the fact in civil court, and won. However that case was a seriously bad one where the gps caused 10s of thousands of dollars in legal fees by lying, and it really disgusted the judge who heard the civil case.

 

[catlvr976]

No, I'm pretty certain that I've spent WAAAYY more $ than she has.

She has NEVER had an attorney except earlier this year, this was the very first time I ever saw her with an attorney when she decided to drag me back down to court AGAIN.

She never has to pay for anything, because she doesn't work/is on foodstamps/unemployment, etc. I know b/c she includes her waivers for her fees when she serves me with papers. I've had to spend money on mediations, "co-parenting" class (what a joke, she isn't their father), the attorney and whatever else I've been dragged to because of her.

Anyway, I wouldn't sue her because I hate court, and I really want to try and avoid it at all costs, esp after this fiasco with her.

What a waste of time and money. She's wasted the court's time, my kids' time, my money almost 10,000 worth that I COULD have spent on my kids but now have to pay my attorney.

It really irritates me that this has gone on and on and while she consistently fails to live up to her end of the order. And all the while, she never once has to face up to anything. It's like a game to her. I'm SICK of my kids being used by her. I'm SICK of the courts being so worried about giving her time which she never uses and constantly giving her the benefit of the doubt. What about my kids? Haven't they been through enough that they now have to be exposed to someone who promises them things and never delivers, someone who NEVER calls them on their birthday, or just to see how things are going, someone who NEVER calls on holidays -- didn't get a call on Sunday for Christmas. Someone who left what visits she did come to early because she had a wedding shower to go to, or to make lunch for people doing some work for her??? I could go on and on.

Yeah, I'm a little bitter about all this. NO fit parent should ever have to go through this. I just wish that there was something that could be done.

Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now.