Does anyone have to agree to adoption if man on birthcertificate isnt the father?

[Ohiogal]

No, it is NEVER in the childs best interest to take away their parent,absolutely not...Supervised visitation, sure, limited visitation, understandable...But, NOTHING....No, just no, that is NEVER ok...i can't even, just no, its not ok to even think about IMO....That is child abuse

You are an idiot. yes there is a point where no visitation is okay. When the parent has sexually molested the child. When the parent blames the child for existing. When the parent refuses to take their medication and believes the child is the devil which must be killed. I can continue with situations in which a parent should HAVE NO CONTACT with the child. But you apparently think a parent that raped a child and taught that child that incest was perfectly fine and had that minor under the age of consent engage in sexual acts with even younger children for the parent's entertainment should be around the child. You are showing that you are stupid, ignorant and don't have a clue. Just quit posting.

 

[Ohiogal]

Legally, that person(I wouldn't call them a parent) can't be around that child anymore.....What we are talking about is one parent keeping a child away from another parent....legal issues are completely different things...Even if CPS, the courts, the law, etc., is a bit different then some 'parent' keeping a child away from their parent....That's parental alienation and Child Abuse IMO

And please stop trying to twist my words...you know darn well that's not what i meant...The law is the law....

You said what you said. You said it is NEVER in the child's best interest not to have any contact with their parent. But you just don't get it. YOU dont' care about anything but blathering on. That makes you dangerous. Until you can have a coherent thought based on logic and the law, shut up. Your opinion matters not. Your opinion has no force. Your opinion is now what this forum is about. Go start dummiesforlaw.com and post your opinion that forum. Okay?

 

[CJane]

I'm baffled. What part of it do you not understand? The part where someone steps up to become the legal parent of a child they love as if they were their own blood or the part where they take the risk of paying child support on a child that is biologically not theirs should a divorce happen? I'm really not understanding your confusion. If your spouse had a child from a previous relationship and the mother turned her back on that child and was completely gone from the picture, you would not consider adopting that child as your own? Even if you loved the child just as much as your own kids?

In a word? No.

Between the two of us, SoldierBoy and I have 7 children. His ex just moved 9 hours away (and he's likely to be stationed even farther away soon), leaving him the only parent of 4 little girls. My daughters' dad hasn't seen them for more than a total of 5 hours in almost 2 years (while he lived 5 minutes away, and legally has primary custody), and recently moved down into the city. My son has never met his father.

And yet, no matter how well we blend our families, how much we all love each other and act as a family unit with me as the "MomFigure" and him as the "DadFigure", it's never made sense to any of us to have him adopt mine and me adopt his. After infancy, I just can't see it. Feels like revisionist history.

 

[stealth2]

I've got to agree with Jane. Very young children, it's one thing. Older? Only if the kid asks, IMO.

 

[CJane]

I've got to agree with Jane. Very young children, it's one thing. Older? Only if the kid asks, IMO.

Even then? Meh. A child "asking" for adoption, to me, is allowing the child to say "My parent is a POS, and I'd like to pick out a new one."

We tell parents that kids don't get to choose where they live, whether they visit a parent, go to the doctor, blah blah blah. But we'd let a child choose a new daddy/mommy? Nope.

I can see how, from a practical perspective, there are a LOT of really good reasons to do it. *I just don't get it from a personal/emotional/whatever standpoint.

 

[Pinkie39]

I will say that I do not understand step-parent adoptions. At. All. It has never made a bit of sense to me.

Why not? My oldest niece was adopted in a step parent adoption. My sister became pregnant, while living out of state, by a man she didn't know well (yes, stupid, I know). They broke up while she was pregnant, my sister moved back home, and started dating a long time friend of hers.

They got married after her daughter was born, and when her daughter was a year old, her husband adopted her daughter. Her daughter's bio father willingly signed away his parental rights, to allow the adoption.

My niece is 26 now, and my sister and brother in law have been married for 27 years. My niece has always known that her adopted dad is not her bio father - my sister and brother in law never hid that from her. My niece has met her bio father too, although they are not close.

I don't think step parent adoptions are something that should be rushed into, of course, but I don't see anything wrong with them in general, either.

 

[Zigner]

Even then? Meh. A child "asking" for adoption, to me, is allowing the child to say "My parent is a POS, and I'd like to pick out a new one."

How about when the biological parent is deceased?
How about when the biological parent is unknown? (TRULY unknown, ie: Rape)
How about when the biological parent has never, ever been a part of the child's life?

I don't agree with you CJane, but I will accept that fact that our opinions differ on this.

 

[CJane]

How about when the biological parent is deceased?
How about when the biological parent is unknown? (TRULY unknown, ie: Rape)
How about when the biological parent has never, ever been a part of the child's life?

I don't agree with you CJane, but I will accept that fact that our opinions differ on this.

Again. I'm not saying it's WRONG. I am not "anti" StepParent adoption. I just have a really difficult time thinking of a case where it's necessary to serve the best interests of the child. The key word being necessary. I can see a LOT of ways that my son's best interests would be met by being adopted by SoldierBoy - he's never had a relationship with his father, his father would LOVE to give up his obligations, he LOVES SoldierBoy, etc. But his best interests are currently met withOUT and adoption, also. Therefore, an adoption isn't NECESSARY for his best interests to be served.

 

[LdiJ]

How about when the biological parent is deceased?
How about when the biological parent is unknown? (TRULY unknown, ie: Rape)
How about when the biological parent has never, ever been a part of the child's life?

I don't agree with you CJane, but I will accept that fact that our opinions differ on this.

I don't think those are the kinds of stepparent adoptions that she was talking about.

I myself don't think that they are a good idea at all unless the parent and stepparent have been married for a very long time, in a very stable marriage, and one of the above conditions apply.

 

[proud_parent]

My father had five step-children. Different mothers, different circumstances, different choices.

When Dad married his first wife, she had three children between the ages of 2 and 6. Her ex-husband was an itinerant drug addict with a history of dropping out of contact with his family for months at a time. Neither Dad's wife nor her ex-husband had family in a position to care for the children should she become unable to do so. So the biological father's rights were terminated and my father adopted. I don't know how long they were married before the adoption was finalized, but it couldn't have been that long because Dad's wife died of cancer a few years later, living him the single parent of their three children.

When Dad remarried (to the woman who later became my mother), Mom had two children ages 9 and 11. Her first husband was deceased, but all four grandparents were living and there were multiple aunts/uncles willing and able to step up had something happened to Mom. Dad did not adopt my siblings from Mom's first marriage, and Mom did not adopt Dad's children (who were all adults by that time).

 

[Ladyback1]

Even then? Meh. A child "asking" for adoption, to me, is allowing the child to say "My parent is a POS, and I'd like to pick out a new one."

We tell parents that kids don't get to choose where they live, whether they visit a parent, go to the doctor, blah blah blah. But we'd let a child choose a new daddy/mommy? Nope.

I can see how, from a practical perspective, there are a LOT of really good reasons to do it. *I just don't get it from a personal/emotional/whatever standpoint.

If after YEARS of being verbally abused, ignored, thrown overboard, etc. by a biological parent, my children were to ask? I'd do what it took to provide them with a better father than the one I chose the first time!

 

[Just Blue]

Again. I'm not saying it's WRONG. I am not "anti" StepParent adoption. I just have a really difficult time thinking of a case where it's necessary to serve the best interests of the child. The key word being necessary. I can see a LOT of ways that my son's best interests would be met by being adopted by SoldierBoy - he's never had a relationship with his father, his father would LOVE to give up his obligations, he LOVES SoldierBoy, etc. But his best interests are currently met withOUT and adoption, also. Therefore, an adoption isn't NECESSARY for his best interests to be served.

"currently" being the issue. What will your son do when you are, God forbid, hit and killed by a bus? Will the Father or Guardian allow "SoldierBoy" to continue this daddytype relationship?

 

[LdiJ]

"currently" being the issue. What will your son do when you are, God forbid, hit and killed by a bus? Will the Father or Guardian allow "SoldierBoy" to continue this daddytype relationship?

This really is a valid issue...a potential situation where the best interests of the child really could call for a stepparent adoption.

 

[CJane]

"currently" being the issue. What will your son do when you are, God forbid, hit and killed by a bus? Will the Father or Guardian allow "SoldierBoy" to continue this daddytype relationship?

What would my son do if I were hit and killed by a bus RIGHT NOW when I'm not married? The same thing that would happen if I were married. His father would have to fight the standby guardianship in a court several hundred miles from his last known address.

But, I've managed 40 years so far - 8 of them with the child - without getting hit by a bus. I've only got to keep from getting hit by a bus for another few years, and it's a moot point.