Father Appointed Sister In Law Power of Attorney

[cousinmose]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan
My father (83), who now lives with my brother and sister in law, appointed my sister in law as POA Agent. She has since added her name to his Bank Accounts and to his Investment Accounts. She also used a different Attorney than my Mom (she passed away early this year) and Dad had for years to write up the POA. I'm concerned that she is using his money for her own expenses, like home upgrades, new vehicle, etc. I do not have a good relationship with in laws and do not want to cause family conflict. However, I don't want my Dad taken advantage of. My Mom always handled the finances. Any advice on what I should do? What are my options? Is this a criminal issue or civil issue? Thank you.

 

[Zigner]

Post Hx:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/buying-selling-home-40/transfer-home-ownership-parents-son-614997.html
https://forum.freeadvice.com/wills-trusts-estate-planning-113/parents-will-home-625837.html

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

If you feel your father is not mentally capable of making this decision and that the S-i-L is taking advantage of the situation follow this link.

http://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/0,5885,7-339-73971_7119-15663--,00.html

 

[not2cleverRed]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Michigan
My father (83), who now lives with my brother and sister in law, appointed my sister in law as POA Agent. She has since added her name to his Bank Accounts and to his Investment Accounts. She also used a different Attorney than my Mom (she passed away early this year) and Dad had for years to write up the POA. I'm concerned that she is using his money for her own expenses, like home upgrades, new vehicle, etc. I do not have a good relationship with in laws and do not want to cause family conflict. However, I don't want my Dad taken advantage of. My Mom always handled the finances. Any advice on what I should do? What are my options? Is this a criminal issue or civil issue? Thank you.

Perhaps the upgrades are to improve his quality of life. My neighbor's brother begrudge them their parent's money as well. But in renovating their home, for the elderly parent's sake they turned a parlor into a proper bedroom with doors, and a pantry into an accessible bathroom with walk in bath. I suspect that the electricity in the 90 year old home has been "upgraded" as well to hand the machines the neighbor's parent depends on.

Perhaps she is charging him rent. Then she can do whatever she wants with the money she collects as "rent" (if there are tax consequences or municipal code regulations, that's her business, not yours or mine).

Do you believe that he is a victim of elder exploitation?

Is there a reason why Dad is at your brothers, and not at your house? It has been my personal experience that the non-caregiving children/relatives seem to be very negative about the caregiving child. Perhaps it's a sibling rivalry thing. Think about it.

P.S. You received help with obtaining your home. Did your brother as well? Perhaps someone is just acting to even things out.

 

[cousinmose]

Perhaps the upgrades are to improve his quality of life. My neighbor's brother begrudge them their parent's money as well. But in renovating their home, for the elderly parent's sake they turned a parlor into a proper bedroom with doors, and a pantry into an accessible bathroom with walk in bath. I suspect that the electricity in the 90 year old home has been "upgraded" as well to hand the machines the neighbor's parent depends on.

Perhaps she is charging him rent. Then she can do whatever she wants with the money she collects as "rent" (if there are tax consequences or municipal code regulations, that's her business, not yours or mine).

Do you believe that he is a victim of elder exploitation?

Is there a reason why Dad is at your brothers, and not at your house? It has been my personal experience that the non-caregiving children/relatives seem to be very negative about the caregiving child. Perhaps it's a sibling rivalry thing. Think about it.

P.S. You received help with obtaining your home. Did your brother as well? Perhaps someone is just acting to even things out.

My parents have helped all 3 of their kids, including me. Dad is staying with us for month of November. Took him to bank and he was surprised that SIL was on his bank accounts. Had Dad pull last 12 months of activity and it shows multiple personal uses of his money by SIL. Concerts, Home Depot, direct transfers to SIL > $20K . Home upgrades are hard wood floors throughout, not bathroom or bedroom upgrades for Dad. He is sharing a room with their 22 yer old son.

I'm starting to suspect that he is being exploited.

 

[LdiJ]

My parents have helped all 3 of their kids, including me. Dad is staying with us for month of November. Took him to bank and he was surprised that SIL was on his bank accounts. Had Dad pull last 12 months of activity and it shows multiple personal uses of his money by SIL. Concerts, Home Depot, direct transfers to SIL > $20K . Home upgrades are hard wood floors throughout, not bathroom or bedroom upgrades for Dad. He is sharing a room with their 22 yer old son.

I'm starting to suspect that he is being exploited.

Your dad can revoke the POA simply by giving something in writing to the SIL revoking it. Dad can close the bank accounts and open new ones without her name on them. I suggest that he do so ASAP.

 

[Zigner]

Home upgrades are hard wood floors throughout, not bathroom or bedroom upgrades for Dad.

But they are upgrades to dad's house, right?

 

[LdiJ]

But they are upgrades to dad's house, right?

Not the way I read it. The way I read it was dad moved into brother and SIL's house.

 

[Zigner]

Not the way I read it. The way I read it was dad moved into brother and SIL's house.

Gotcha - that makes more sense in the context of this thread.

 

[cousinmose]

Gotcha - that makes more sense in the context of this thread.

Yes, Dad moved in to brother and SIL's house. His house is for sale at this time.

 

[not2cleverRed]

My parents have helped all 3 of their kids, including me. Dad is staying with us for month of November. Took him to bank and he was surprised that SIL was on his bank accounts. Had Dad pull last 12 months of activity and it shows multiple personal uses of his money by SIL. Concerts, Home Depot, direct transfers to SIL > $20K . Home upgrades are hard wood floors throughout, not bathroom or bedroom upgrades for Dad. He is sharing a room with their 22 yer old son.

I'm starting to suspect that he is being exploited.

Thank you for clarifying. I can understand your concern, and share it. Your sister-in-law has been granted a great responsibility, but does not seem to be up to doing the bookkeeping necessary to justify the expenses.

I wonder why your sister-in-law it the one with power-of-attorney. It's more common for it to be the kids, or at least that's how it's worked out in my family. Perhaps it is time for a family meeting.

 

[HRZ]

IF dad is unhappy with the POA and Dad has most of his marbles he can quickly and firmly extinguish that POA .

DAd is free , if he has most of his marbles, to execute a new POA with a person he thinks is more reliable ....the paper forms are a bit more complex of law ...but that's not your question.

IN general it's a conflict of money interest for a POA to expend funds for things the POA wants ...and concerts and $20"k sure smell suspicious . THings that help Dad enjoy or cope are probably OK?

ODds are the state law,has a provision where Dad can require an accounting from his POA...but seems to me more practical,IF dad is nervous about his selection of POA that he take quick silent steps to,close,access to his accounts, extinguish in writing the POA , make sure the places where POA might acces money are on written notice that Person XX no longer has POA

DAd may become an unwelcome guest if he is no longer the liberal money tree. ..but such is life. .... .

 

[justalayman]

Have you spoken to your father? That is what your first action should be.

If dad is not happy with the status quo it is within his power to change things.

Once he stops the bleeding he can deal with cleaning up the mess. There are both civil and criminal issues possibly involved here but his first step would be to stop any further bleeding.

 

[cousinmose]

Have you spoken to your father? That is what your first action should be.

If dad is not happy with the status quo it is within his power to change things.

Once he stops the bleeding he can deal with cleaning up the mess. There are both civil and criminal issues possibly involved here but his first step would be to stop any further bleeding.

Yes I have spoken to him and wants to stop the bleeding of his money.

So planning to open new bank account with just his name and transfer funds to his account.

He wants to do the same with investment account. Could he open new investment accounts and transfer? Would he have to go to office to complete? Or could he do over the phone/fax?

Trying to do this before additional losses.

 

[justalayman]

Yes I have spoken to him and wants to stop the bleeding of his money.

So planning to open new bank account with just his name and transfer funds to his account.

He wants to do the same with investment account. Could he open new investment accounts and transfer? Would he have to go to office to complete? Or could he do over the phone/fax?

Trying to do this before additional losses.

That is something he would have to discuss with his banker. If the amount of money is great enough a banker may make a house call.