Car Payments

[ejohnston5785]

I am from Pennsylvania. My girlfriend and I had recently broken up. Due to the sensitive nature of the situation, I offered to help get her car payments back up to speed. She was several months behind and was on the verge of losing her car. I told her I would make a payment every other week and get her payments current again. I have written a check every other week so far. She does not cash them right away and will sometimes wait for the next check in a couple weeks before depositing both. That's not a big issue for me.
My issue is, recently, things have gotten worse between us. If it wasn't for the car payments, we would have absolutely no contact. In fact, the only contact I have now is every other week, I mail her a check, no letter, nothing, just a check for her car payment.

I am not 100% sure what I want to do at this point. On one hand, I want to keep my promise. On the other hand, I'm paying almost $600/month ($300 every two weeks) for someone who has thrown me under the bus and someone who I have absolutely no contact with.

We have not signed any contract. I have only verbally promised and even texted it a couple times to her as she was really stressed out not knowing what she was going to do.

Hindsight, I should never have offered to help. But I did, and just want to know what I am legally bound to before I make any decisions.

Thank you

 

[Zigner]

Send her a note with the next payment that you won't be making any more payments. If you would prefer, just send the note and not the payment.

 

[not2cleverRed]

I am from Pennsylvania. My girlfriend and I had recently broken up. Due to the sensitive nature of the situation, I offered to help get her car payments back up to speed. She was several months behind and was on the verge of losing her car. I told her I would make a payment every other week and get her payments current again. I have written a check every other week so far. She does not cash them right away and will sometimes wait for the next check in a couple weeks before depositing both. That's not a big issue for me.
My issue is, recently, things have gotten worse between us. If it wasn't for the car payments, we would have absolutely no contact. In fact, the only contact I have now is every other week, I mail her a check, no letter, nothing, just a check for her car payment.

I am not 100% sure what I want to do at this point. On one hand, I want to keep my promise. On the other hand, I'm paying almost $600/month ($300 every two weeks) for someone who has thrown me under the bus and someone who I have absolutely no contact with.

We have not signed any contract. I have only verbally promised and even texted it a couple times to her as she was really stressed out not knowing what she was going to do.

Hindsight, I should never have offered to help. But I did, and just want to know what I am legally bound to before I make any decisions.

Thank you

Is your name on the loan?

Is your name on the title?

If your name is not on the loan, and you have no ownership of the car, then no, you are not legally obligated to make payments on the car: the money you were giving her are gifts.

If your name is on the loan, then start making the payments directly before your credit is trashed. And take steps to get rid of your ties to this car. If she cannot get the loan refinanced in her name, then she should not keep the car.

 

[ejohnston5785]

Thanks. No my name is not on the lease or on the title. My concern was that I verbally agreed and even have it in "writing" in the form of the text message. And since I promised to get her current, the "gift" could be considered the sum of the payments to get her current. I'm not an expert so I'm trying to think of any loophole that could come back and bite me.

 

[Zigner]

Thanks. No my name is not on the lease or on the title. My concern was that I verbally agreed and even have it in "writing" in the form of the text message. And since I promised to get her current, the "gift" could be considered the sum of the payments to get her current. I'm not an expert so I'm trying to think of any loophole that could come back and bite me.

If you truly have no other legal obligation to pay, then a "gift" is not an enforceable contract.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Thanks. No my name is not on the lease or on the title. My concern was that I verbally agreed and even have it in "writing" in the form of the text message. And since I promised to get her current, the "gift" could be considered the sum of the payments to get her current. I'm not an expert so I'm trying to think of any loophole that could come back and bite me.

Well, she'll have to take you to court to even begin to exercise any loophole.

You promised her a gift: you received nothing, no car, no services, n-o-t-h-i-n-g in return. No one is "owed" a gift.

You were not married. It's not like this is marital debt. Even if you had a child together, you would only be on the hook for child support, not her car payments.

 

[quincy]

What was the "sensitive" matter that originally led to your promise to make her car payments?

 

[ejohnston5785]

Long story short, we were in a long drawn out breakup that resulted in her trying to commit suicide. Having walked in and seeing the aftermath, and just everything that goes with an event like that, I was a mess. I wanted to do anything I could to help. However, as she recovers, the animosity is increasing between us and her family. I'm just taking a lot of heat for something I couldn't control and have virtually been "shunned" from the entire thing. Which I understand. Had I not promised to begin with, I would have kept moving forward. But I hate breaking promises, especially one where I know it will definitely help someone else...but I know I need to look out for myself and I feel like I'm being taken advantage of. If I was in her or her family's position, I would have told me not to send payments and we would take care of everything ourselves. But I know the world doesn't work that way and this is a delicate situation.

 

[Zigner]

If yours is truly a gift with nothing else attached, then you can stop paying at any time. I would really suggest that you give her a little notice so that she can be ready to begin paying on her own.

 

[ejohnston5785]

Yeah, I'm probably going to do that. Make one or two more payments but let her know it's done after that.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[quincy]

Her family can help her with the payments.

 

[Zigner]

Yeah, I'm probably going to do that. Make one or two more payments but let her know it's done after that.

Thanks for the advice!

However many additional payments you make, you should probably lump them on the same check. There's no good reason to draw it out.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

@ejohnston5785 Are you writing the checks to her or the bank/finance company?

 

[Zigner]

@ejohnston5785 Are you writing the checks to her or the bank/finance company?

She does not cash them right away and will sometimes wait for the next check in a couple weeks before depositing both.

 

[Litigator22]

I am from Pennsylvania. My girlfriend and I had recently broken up. Due to the sensitive nature of the situation, I offered to help get her car payments back up to speed. She was several months behind and was on the verge of losing her car. I told her I would make a payment every other week and get her payments current again. I have written a check every other week so far. She does not cash them right away and will sometimes wait for the next check in a couple weeks before depositing both. That's not a big issue for me.
My issue is, recently, things have gotten worse between us. If it wasn't for the car payments, we would have absolutely no contact. In fact, the only contact I have now is every other week, I mail her a check, no letter, nothing, just a check for her car payment.

I am not 100% sure what I want to do at this point. On one hand, I want to keep my promise. On the other hand, I'm paying almost $600/month ($300 every two weeks) for someone who has thrown me under the bus and someone who I have absolutely no contact with.

We have not signed any contract. I have only verbally promised and even texted it a couple times to her as she was really stressed out not knowing what she was going to do.

Hindsight, I should never have offered to help. But I did, and just want to know what I am legally bound to before I make any decisions.

Thank you

You need to stop being "Mr. Goodbar"! And she should be kicking herself in the ass for dumping you.

Anyway take refuge in knowing that whether your promise was verbal or written, she cannot legally hold you to it as a promise to make a gift - meaning to fulfill such a promise at a future date - is not enforceable.

Nor would the circumstances described serve to support her claiming the benefits of promissory estoppel or estoppel in pais -she obviously having committed to the loan prior to your promise and not in reliance on it.

However, this is not to be taken as permitting you to recover the moneys already gifted. If you want an explanation as to why she is not responsible to make reimbursement, please ask.