15 year old nearly flunking out of school - need help FAST please.

[sbever]

What is the name of your state? IN

Hello,

I have a 15 year old son. He is a sophmore. He has missed 5 days of school unexcused. I am a single parent and leave for work before he gets on the bus. After calling the school I found out he is flunking 2 classes - his other 2 classes are basically basket weaving. He also has a study hall. He has been tardy many times to his classes as well. The principal states if he misses 6 days unexcused he will have to retake his classes because no credit will be given. My questions are:

1. When he turns 16 in 8 days - is there any way I can stop him from dropping out of school? (he hasn't mentioned it but I'm worried he will at this point)

2. Where can I find information on the truancy laws for Indiana?

3. Does anyone know of a website that might show statistics of dropouts and what they do/don't accomplish?

Any help is appreciated and desperately needed.

Thank you so much!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Students are required to attend school until they graduate or turn 18 in Indiana.

Forget about trying to show him what other's have or have not accomplished. It's a bit late for that. Simply enlist the aid of the 'Brazil Option' (patented by a member of this forum), or have the school call you the next time he misses school and is truant.

Then you call the police and let him spend a few hours in a jail cell.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Furthermore:

Indiana law requires a student to attend school until he graduates or turns 18 unless he is between age 16 and 18 and his parents and the school principal consent in writing to his withdrawal at an exit interview (Indiana Code, Sec. 20-8.1-3-17).

 

[sbever]

Brazil Option?

Thank you for the quick reply. Please enlighten me on the 'Brazil Option'. I've been fighting the battle with my son for about 3 years now with little success.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

(copyright IAAL, 2004)

This is really very simple.

You tell him that in 1 month, you're both going on a "father/son vacation" to Brazil. How fun! And, that you're both going to take in the sights and local culture. That's the story you tell him.

Then, you take yourself and him to get your pictures taken for your Passports.

Then, after you get your Passports, you buy two tickets to Brazil - - a round trip ticket for you, and a one-way ticket for him.

You both fly to Brazil.

You get into a cab from the airport and go to the hotel where you've previously made room arrangements.

You get to the hotel and get to your rooms, but do not unpack your bags!

After getting him settled into his room, you take his Passport without letting him see you. You then tell him you're going to the gift shop for a magazine.

However, the reality is that you're going to the front desk with an envelope. In the envelope is two hundred dollars in Brazilian money, and your note to him - -

"Dear Sonnyboy: So, you think you're old enough to dislike me and Mom, and to give us continual trouble? Then you're old enough to take care of yourself. I hope you like your new home and country. New languages are fun to learn, aren't they? Here's $200.00 to get you started in life. Don't waste it. Love, Dad."

Have the hotel clerk deliver the envelope to his room.

Then, you turn on your heels, take your bags out of the hotel, hail a cab, and get back to the airport. Fly home.

Let Brazil take care of him.

(edit to reflect your sex and standing)

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

If you could only get away with the Brazil Option,(I adore that one). Seriously, get with the school. Request to be notified when he is late ar not there in the morning. He cannot drop out of school while he is under your roof. It is time to get with his counselor and make a plan for this young man.

He is not going to be easy at this age. Take everything out of his room except his bed. Let him know Summer School is not fun, and that is what he will be doing to get the credits he needs. Wake his butt up early and drop him off at the bus stop when you leave for work. If he doesn't go, you take more away from him.

He will fight you on all of this, but it does get better if you stay on top of it. Tell him no driver's training, no car, no nothing. Let him think about how he is going to accomplish this without you.

Good Luck.

 

[john123456]

In Indiana, students must attend school a minimum of 180 days per year.

 

[leafinator]

I can't think of anything new to contribute that hasn't already been offered up other than the encouragement to use tough love. I GUARANTEE you he'll thank you for it when he grows up (which may take a very long time so be patient). I was headed down the same road until my Dad pulled me aside and told me in very plain english what the score was and what he was going to do. He laid it all out before me and most of all - HE STUCK TO IT when I threw my stupid fits. He worked with the school to find out everything: everytime I was late to a class I got punished, everytime I skipped a class I was punished, everytime I did anything I shouldn't I was punished. It was a battle of wills that thankfully he won. It will be a battle of wills to him but for you it will be a battle for his future. Take a deep breath and get started for his sake.

 

[gml659]

Leaf,

I totally apologize to you for remarks earlier. You have self-actualized at a very young age. It takes many until their 30's or 40's to get where you are at. My hat is off to you sir. I hope my two son's can get to this point too.

GML

 

[Jenni_Pooh2]

I used to be the same way in school. The one thing my mom did that really straightened me up, she went to school with me. For just one day (although she told me in the beginning that she would be with me all week). She went from class to class with me. Waited outside of the classroom or sat in a empty desk in the back. For every class. At lunch and break she again was right there by my side.

Believe me, by the time that day was over, I never wanted to skip a class again!

Good luck!

 

[leafinator]

GML,

Thanks for the compliment, that really means a lot to me. I'll be honest, it wasn't an easy road but it's one that I feel left me much wiser. Of course, if I was wise I would of listened to my parents in the first place! Thankfully I realized the error of my ways when I was in my mid-20's instead of later in life. Keep fighting the good fight, your 2 sons will eventually come around. Life has a way of teaching them just how wise their parents are!

 

[Four4Daddy]

Drop out information from experience

I found this interesting considering my situation thoughout school. I was able to drop out of high school because of personal problems and approval from the school board. I got my GED at age 17 and started college 2 months later. I recieved my Associate in applied science for information technology at age 20. Also, I have several certifications in the field of information technology. So, even if he figures this "loop hole" out and chooses to drop out, hope is not completely lost. I have been gaining experience in my field of study and increase my income yearly. My best advice would be to have a serious adult conversation with him. If this is still a problem anyway, because the route that I took is definately the hard way.. Hope this is somewhat helpful..

 

[DrewfromCA]

Single mother of four, huh...? Where is daddy?

Have you ever disciplined your kid? Didn't think so.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but that is what happens to kids of single mothers who don't discipline their kids. Or even to married parents who don't discipline the kids.

I am not trying to spout rhetoric, but too many parents today are too damn PC, and don't touch their kids, and let them get unruly and out of control.

Take back the control. Now. Trust me, the kid's future is at stake and you better realize it, and for all your kids.

good luck

 

[sbever]

Yes - mother of four and YES very proud.

Yes, as a matter of fact I do discipline my kids. Yes, I am the proud mother of 4 kids. Their father lives 1/2 block away so the kids do have interaction with both parents. I am saddened to think you have such an opinion of single parents and have put them all in the same stereotype. I work fulltime - I'm not on welfare, I do spend time with my children and discipline them as I see fit for the situation.

I was simply asking for advice hoping someone had the same or similar situation - not looking for someone who may or may not have children of their own who thinks they may know how every "single parent" is in todays society.

 

[stealth2]

So how did he get to this point? Why does he think it's acceptable to skip? Why does he think it's acceptable to take two "basket weaving"-type courses (and why did you allow him to)? What ARE you doing in terms of discipline for this situation? What is Dad proposing? Simply showing him stats on what happens when kids drop out isn't going to do squat.