15 year old nearly flunking out of school - need help FAST please.

[LdiJ]

Yes, as a matter of fact I do discipline my kids. Yes, I am the proud mother of 4 kids. Their father lives 1/2 block away so the kids do have interaction with both parents. I am saddened to think you have such an opinion of single parents and have put them all in the same stereotype. I work fulltime - I'm not on welfare, I do spend time with my children and discipline them as I see fit for the situation.

I was simply asking for advice hoping someone had the same or similar situation - not looking for someone who may or may not have children of their own who thinks they may know how every "single parent" is in todays society.

Some school systems in Indiana have alternative options for high school students who aren't thriving in the traditional setting. You might talk to the principal at his school to see if they have any other types of programs.

My daughter lost a lot of credits last year due to a major complication in her life. This semester I have her enrolled in a night program that allows her to earn credits more quickly. She can actually earn double the normal number of credits with the types of classes she is taking (computer based, semi-independent study). We are doing this so that she can hopefully still graduate with her class.

If part of the problem is that your son is basically bored...a program like that (that keeps them busy the whole time they are in class) might be helpful for him.

 

[sbever]

He thinks it is acceptable to skip because his father has told him it is ok to skip every so often as long as you make up the work. His school counselor and him decided on the courses he needed. Evidentally one of the "basket weaving classes" is required for graduation (health). The other was an elective he choose. From what I understand, next trimester his classes are more difficult. I have given him 3 weeks to raise his non passing grades to passing and in that amount of time if he has not raised them he will not be allowed to get his drivers license, no phone, no computer, no weekends with friends until his grades are up and kept up.

His father is not doing anything and telling me whatever I want to do is fine with him. I did show him the stats, I keep in contact with his teachers on a weekly basis. I have been in contact with his teachers in the past working with them. I have visited the school with him going to each one of his classes as was suggested.

I'm not sitting still while he is flunking out - I was simply wanting suggestions and wanting to find out other things I can try and the laws of Indiana as far as if he CAN drop out without my ok.

 

[leafinator]

Father needs to be a father

Let me give you some advice on proper parenting to pass along to your ex: I have to assume that in telling his son it's ok to skip if you make up the work he's, in part, trying to stay popular with him. While I understand the reasoning behind it what he obviously isn't thinking about is the long term implications of what he's telling his son. What he's saying is: it's ok to break the rules if you don't like them or understand them as long as you do something to make it up later on. WRONG!!!! To a child (and a 15 yr. old is a child) that's no different than telling them it's ok to hit someone as long as you say sorry. You see, in a child's eyes, he isn't thinking to himself "Ok, I can skip a class if I don't feel like going or if I just don't want to go but that's all I can skip in life because that's the only thing Dad said I could. I'll march right home tonight and read the next 3 chapters in my book and take notes." He's thinking, "Cool! Dad said I could skip a class!" That's it, nothing more. The problem with that is that by thinking it's ok to skip a class in high school, he'll think it's ok to skip a class in college - after all, what's the difference?!? The next thing you know he's going to be failing out of college and without a clue why. When confronted about it all you'll hear is that's it's not his fault and there's so much homework he just can't keep up with it. If he finishes college and gets a job it'll then translate into skipping days of work and I don't need to continue for you to know where that will lead.

I could go on and on but I won't as I think you've got the point. I commend you for doing all that you're doing. It's one thing to ask for advice but a whole different thing to have the courage to follow it! I don't know your situation but I don't think Dad is trying to get back at you or be a bad Dad, I just think he doesn't realize what he's doing. I would highly encourage you to talk to him and explain to him all I've said here. Remember, the most effective way to parent is for the mother and father to come to a mutual decision and stick to it. You're doing your part, now he needs to do his.