One daughter is in third grade the other in kindergarten and my son is only 3. Im at school all from eight am to nine pm on wednesdays and mondays and im there four about four hours on tuesdays and thursdays. The kids sleep at my house in their room. I "parent" them when i get home from school and on my days off friday thru sunday.
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50/50
- Thread starter jimmyd916
- Start date
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CJane
Senior Member
So during your weeks, realistically speaking, you don't see your kids on Monday or Wednesday. I'm going to assume you're in school for 4 hours during the same times your older kids are in school on Tuesday and Thursday, and you're with them "full time" on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Do you have a job?
Wouldn't agreeing with Mom on a schedule that allowed you more actual time with the kids, even if fewer overnights be better for everyone?
Perhaps Tuesday evening until 30 minutes or so before bed time, and then Thursday/Friday every week and alternate Saturday/Sunday with Mom. Mom would then have Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights, with alternate Sat/Sun.
Yes, out of a 14 day period, you would only have the kids for 6 overnights instead of 7, but you're only seeing them for 5 now, considering your schedule.
I think it's unlikely, if this goes to court, that a judge is going to award you 2 days every week that you're not home from early in the morning til after bed time.
okay heres a little update on my situation, like ive said preciously my ex put a restraining order on me in court and it was dismissed, she filed for another restraining order shortly after but all grants were denied until the hearing. should i use this information in mediation which is coming up next week or should i not say a word about this. i think i should mention because it shows my ex's credibility is not so good.
LdiJ
Senior Member
You can bring it up in mediation but without hearing your ex's side of the story its really difficult to tell you if it will help or hurt you.
Its better to focus on the best interest of the children.
Your best bet is to focus on a parenting schedule which maximizes the amount of time that you can actually spend with your children.
CJane
Senior Member
This is key, and something you are having a hard time focusing on. You're looking for ammunition to use against mom, when you should really be looking for things that work in your favor. The point isn't to discredit the other parent. The point is supposed to be to work on a schedule that is realistic and which creates a situation in which both parents spend a maximum amount of time with the children.
So, a 50/50 schedule in which you really don't see the kids that often because you're in school isn't really practical. A better schedule might result in fewer actual overnights, but more of their awake time.
And a judge isn't likely to order 50/50 when the parents are clearly high conflict, regardless of whose "fault" that conflict is. A consult with a local attorney, to get an idea of what judges in your area typically order in similar situations is a really good idea. It will help you determine what's worth fighting over and what's a really good agreement to work out.