A Dad who won custody..Imagine that...??? about CS

[chatkat]

Thank you Tommy,

I'll plead PMS, I still haven't gotten over my situation and probably won't for a long time.

I understand your situation is different and from what you say, you made the right decision getting custody. All I was trying to say is make sure the CS you ask for is based on need for the children and not for getting back at the ex. No matter what has happened between the two of you, she is still the mother of your children and what hurts her, hurts the kids.

That is why I never took my ex back to court, he was always throwing CS in my face and even though he was supposed to pay through the state, it was easier for him to pay directly to me. I wanted it mailed to me and he thought it was better to hand my daughter the check to give to me. He did that on purpose to throw CS in my daughters face too. I ask him constantly to stop giving it to her and he continued. I knew if I asked for more he would just make a bigger issue of it and my daughter would be the one to suffer in the long run.
He on the other hand, or I guess I can surley say his wife made sure that they acted with vengeance.

 

[tommygunz01]

Nah, we won't blame this on PMS Chat.....its a very emotional and stressful situation these custody battles and so one has to do what one thinks is in the best interests of the children. And you or anyone who is reading this can be rest assured my questions with regards to going for CS has nothing to do with vindictivness and has everything to do with the fact my ex, despite her irresponsible ways, should share, even if its merely financial, in some of the responsibilities of raising the boys.

This is not an easy thing to do....raising 3 boys. But thankfully I have a wonderful and terrific future step-mom who loves and adores them dearly. And thankfully I have a very supportive family backing me all throughout the process. Besides all those factors, I love them boys and want nothing but the best for them and for them to grow up happy and become solid upstanding law abiding citizens one day. And that clearly would never have occured if I would have let things remain the way they were and my ex was still exerting her "Jerry Springerish" morals on them....that's for darn sure!!

Anyways, my request for advise as far as CS is concerned truly is not as a way to "get back at her" like in your case with your ex Chat, but rather, it would be helpful and the right thing to do for the boys that their Mom share in their upbringing. Heck, I hope beyond hope that my ex gets her life together and really can be a nurturing mother for them. Though I doubt she can and will get her act together, I would never stop the boys from seeing her,calling her or loving her....that's not the way I operate. But if she continues with her abysmal lifestyle and continues to make the wrong the choices, I have to continue to protect the kids as they are still too young to understand exactly what is going on as I obviously never have told them what their Mom has done or is continuing to do....thanks again Chat.

-Tommy

Thank you Tommy,

I'll plead PMS, I still haven't gotten over my situation and probably won't for a long time.

I understand your situation is different and from what you say, you made the right decision getting custody. All I was trying to say is make sure the CS you ask for is based on need for the children and not for getting back at the ex. No matter what has happened between the two of you, she is still the mother of your children and what hurts her, hurts the kids.

That is why I never took my ex back to court, he was always throwing CS in my face and even though he was supposed to pay through the state, it was easier for him to pay directly to me. I wanted it mailed to me and he thought it was better to hand my daughter the check to give to me. He did that on purpose to throw CS in my daughters face too. I ask him constantly to stop giving it to her and he continued. I knew if I asked for more he would just make a bigger issue of it and my daughter would be the one to suffer in the long run.
He on the other hand, or I guess I can surley say his wife made sure that they acted with vengeance.

 

[tommygunz01]

Won CS from ex....

Haven't posted in awhile as its been crazy busy but figured some of y'all who had helped me out here a few months ago might want to know this: I just got the order a week ago from the CS officer that I was being awarded $950 per month which, though I don't necessarily "need" it, is a nice little bonus to have, considering how much in legal fees that this has been cause of her and obviously it will help a bit seeing that our kiddies, though they are worth every dime we spend on them, they aint cheap.

Just got in the mail today an "appeal notice" that she has filed and so I was wondering if anything is going to be any different during the appeals process and if I have anything to worry about with regards to the decision favoring me....the custodial parent? I mean, won't the appeals judge be seeing the same evidence that the support officer saw when she made her decision in our favor...huh?. I dunno, and thus my posing the question to anyone in the know.

Either way, this was another victory for the kids and for fathers in general and I feel a bit vindicated by the CS decision.....thanks in advance for any input I might recieve.