A message

[summerdawn]

A certified letter is considered served if it is signed for ANY person -- at the address the court has -- who is over the age of 18. If she is sending it to his Court recognized address, and mom signs for it while she is there, service is normally good.

Thanks OG! This reply is what I was hoping for. He lives with his mom, dad, and wife, so I figured any of them could sign for it and I was hoping it would still be considered received by him.

 

[summerdawn]

It says 1:00. She waited until 1:30 last time and then left and sent a certified letter informing Dad so that may be why dad's giving her notice that he's starting his visit at 3:30 instead. Since there's no clause that visits are canceled if he doesn't show up within x amount of time, he has the right to do this.

And CC is right. And, there very much is a woman behind this. Gender biasly speaking, men don't have time for this petty crap (ie. sending notes through Facebook, not having a tel # for them to be available at for the mother of their kids to at least leave messages through, etc.).

Summerdawn, the less communication, the better. Just be there at 3:30 like has been advised, don't respond, but do seek to put some boundaries around how late he can be with visitation. I think a CP should be flexible, too, so you'll have to decide how much flexibility you want to give when seeking the court to put boundaries in. And, do stick to the exact letter of the CO so if you were alternating Sundays, go back to the court-ordered numbered Sundays, no further discussion needed.

I will be going back to his normal Sundays. I do know why they want that though, it's becase their Sunday falls on Easter next month and i'm sure they want that holiday with the kids. In my OSC I am asking the courts to consider his visits forfeited if he shows up more than 30 minutes late.

After reading the forums, I am also asking that he and I alternate all federal holidays. With him having a visit every Monday, every time the kids get a Monday off school they go to his house, which makes it hard for us to make plans to BBQ with family and stuff. I also plan on asking for a 14 day "vacation time" in the summer in which I am free to take my kids on vacation without them having to visit him the once per week, and I will notify him 30 days in advance, but I have no idea how to word that in my motion. I never even thought of it until I saw someone mention it on here, and it would make our summers nicer if we didn't have to be stressed about not taking a vacation on his time like we did last year. It really limited our travel plans.

 

[summerdawn]

Simply put there was really nothing to respond too.

Does your court order state 1pm for pick up or 3:30. If is states 1:00 then I don't understand his logic of telling you he would be there at 3:30. Especially since he seems to have legal guidence out his butt.

But then again Mr Binky Clown and his legal team seem to make up their own rules as they go

I think i'm going to just start calling him Mr. Binky Clown and the Keystone Cops. MIL and SM tried to file an OSC on our case [on his behalf] last week but it was done wrong and rejected by the court clerk. MIL is supposed to be a good paralegal with over 25 years of experience, I don't know how she could have messed up the paperwork that badly.

They still haven't refiled.

 

[wileybunch]

summerdawn, on wording summer vacation time for you ....
Is there a provision for Dad to have summer vacation time in your CO?
If so, I would think the language would be similar to that.
And, you do need a clause that says that the vacation time supersedes the regular parenting timeshare, but not the holiday time share.

 

[summerdawn]

summerdawn, on wording summer vacation time for you ....
Is there a provision for Dad to have summer vacation time in your CO?
If so, I would think the language would be similar to that.
And, you do need a clause that says that the vacation time supersedes the regular parenting timeshare, but not the holiday time share.

No, dad has no summer vacation time to take the kids out of town and stuff because he only has them between 3 and 6 hours per week. Even if he took his full visitation time he would only have them for 11 hours at the most in a given week:

He is supposed to have them every 2nd and 4th Sunday from 1:00-6:30. [As I have stated, he always takes 3:30 until 6:30]
During school, he also as them every Monday from 3:30-6:30-when school is not in session he is supposed to have them every Monday from 1:00 until 6:30.

I guess he didn't feel the need to insert a vacation time away from his visits, he just didn't exercise his visits for a couple weeks when he went out of town last year.

 

[wileybunch]

Ideas here. Keep in mind if you request to put in a clause for summer vacation, Dad/Smom will likely, too.

SUMMER/VACATIONS

Mother shall be allowed two (2) weeks of uninterrupted vacation time with children during the year so long as there is thirty (30) days advance notice to the other party. If a vacation time is not exercised, then normal visitation schedule will apply.

HOLIDAYS

Holidays and special times shall take precedence over the regular time-share arrangements.

Holidays shall commence at 9AM and end at 9PM unless otherwise specified here.

During odd-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Mother on New Year's Day, President's Day, and the Fourth of July holiday. During even-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Father on New Year's Day, President's Day, and the Fourth of July holiday.

During even-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Mother on M@rtin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Veteran's Day. During odd-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Father on M@rtin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Veteran's Day.

Thanksgiving shall be alternated on a yearly basis with the children residing with the Father during odd-numbered years and with the Mother during even-numbered years. "Thanksgiving" shall be defined as beginning when the children get out of school on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and ending on Sunday at 6:00 PM.

MOTHER'S DAY/FATHER'S DAY

The Mother shall have the children every year Mother's Day; and the Father shall have the children every year for Father's Day. This Holiday shall commence at 9AM and end at 9PM.

BIRTHDAYS

The children shall spend the Mother's birthday with the Mother and Father's birthday with the Father. If a birthday falls on a day which is part of the other parent's time with the children, the birthday parent shall have the children from 9AM to 9PM.

 

[summerdawn]

Ideas here. Keep in mind if you request to put in a clause for summer vacation, Dad/Smom will likely, too.

SUMMER/VACATIONS

Mother shall be allowed two (2) weeks of uninterrupted vacation time with children during the year so long as there is thirty (30) days advance notice to the other party. If a vacation time is not exercised, then normal visitation schedule will apply.

HOLIDAYS

Holidays and special times shall take precedence over the regular time-share arrangements.

Holidays shall commence at 9AM and end at 9PM unless otherwise specified here.

During odd-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Mother on New Year's Day, President's Day, and the Fourth of July holiday. During even-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Father on New Year's Day, President's Day, and the Fourth of July holiday.

During even-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Mother on M@rtin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Veteran's Day. During odd-numbered years, the children shall reside with the Father on M@rtin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday, Easter, Memorial Day, Labor Day, and Veteran's Day.

Thanksgiving shall be alternated on a yearly basis with the children residing with the Father during odd-numbered years and with the Mother during even-numbered years. "Thanksgiving" shall be defined as beginning when the children get out of school on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and ending on Sunday at 6:00 PM.

MOTHER'S DAY/FATHER'S DAY

The Mother shall have the children every year Mother's Day; and the Father shall have the children every year for Father's Day. This Holiday shall commence at 9AM and end at 9PM.

BIRTHDAYS

The children shall spend the Mother's birthday with the Mother and Father's birthday with the Father. If a birthday falls on a day which is part of the other parent's time with the children, the birthday parent shall have the children from 9AM to 9PM.

Thanks for the ideas, Wiley. He has made it clear that he does not have a place for them to stay overnight, is not interested in having them overnight, and he is just fine with the visits he already has, so I will be extremely surprised if he files for a vacation [i'll KNOW sm's behind THAT one.] He has also let me know that he doesn't want them specifically for any other holidays besides Christmas and Thanksgiving [on both of thesedays he gets the girls from 1:00p.m. until 8:30 p.m., no overnights, and he is the one that chose the times] in odd numbered years. He especially does not want them for New Year's Eve or New Year's because that is when he and SM get really drunk and they are not allowed to drink around the children per CO.

If he objects to me taking the two weeks in the summer is it likely that the court will deny that request that i'm making?

 

[CourtClerk]

Here is what you need, the court took care of those of you who can't do this alone for you:

http://courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/fillable/fl341c.pdf

 

[summerdawn]

Here is what you need, the court took care of those of you who can't do this alone for you:

http://courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/fillable/fl341c.pdf

Oh that is AWESOME! DO I just file it along with my OSC and my 341d when I file?

I'm sorry for even more questions: the way my case is set up, it's 'County of San Bernardino[petitioner] vs. Binky Clown[respondent]' because they modifed it through child support-I am listed as "other parent".

The part where it says: "Vacations. The petitioner [] respondent [] may take a vacation of up to...[blah blah blah]" What do I put if I am niether the petitioner nor the respondent?

(Crap, for that matter, when I fill out the paperwork itself where do I put the checkmarks for my holidays if I am not the petitioner or respondent?)

Thanks for making the link to the fillable form so that I can type it out instead of hand writing it in.

 

[CourtClerk]

Oh that is AWESOME! DO I just file it along with my OSC and my 341d when I file?

I'm sorry for even more questions: the way my case is set up, it's 'County of San Bernardino[petitioner] vs. Binky Clown[respondent]' because they modifed it through child support-I am listed as "other parent".

The part where it says: "Vacations. The petitioner [] respondent [] may take a vacation of up to...[blah blah blah]" What do I put if I am niether the petitioner nor the respondent?

(Crap, for that matter, when I fill out the paperwork itself where do I put the checkmarks for my holidays if I am not the petitioner or respondent?)

Thanks for making the link to the fillable form so that I can type it out instead of hand writing it in.

Is the only case you have open the child support case? If so, you're going to have to joinder a paternity/custody case to it. The County of San Bernardino can't be part of a custody/visitation issue. However, I thought both of you lived in LA County. In which case was custody/visitation decided? It wasn't that child support case.

 

[summerdawn]

Is the only case you have open the child support case? If so, you're going to have to joinder a paternity/custody case to it. The County of San Bernardino can't be part of a custody/visitation issue. However, I thought both of you lived in LA County. In which case was custody/visitation decided? It wasn't that child support case.

No, we are both in SB County. We have never had a paternity case at all. His MIL filed to modify custody and visitation through the child support case-it is actually an SDA case, which causes no end of problems when I try to discuss it or file things on it with the family law courts-somehow the first judge divided the custody part of the SDA case to rancho courthouse and kept the child support part in san Berdoo. It makes thing just really difficult not only for me but for the court clerks as well-they keep having to talk to their supervisors anytime I file in Rancho to figure out if they can let me file there.

Our last mediation agreement was agreed upon and just sent in to be signed (signed by a Rancho judge)-there was no second courtdate in Rancho after we transferred the custody/visitation portion because we already had the mediation figured out and figured there was no need for a court date when it could just be signed.

When I first came on the site I was talking about contesting the case because it was modified through child support but everyone told me that judges frown upon those types of technicalities argued in court so I didn't.

 

[CourtClerk]

No, we are both in SB County. We have never had a paternity case at all. His MIL filed to modify custody and visitation through the child support case-it is actually an SDA case, which causes no end of problems when I try to discuss it or file things on it with the family law courts-somehow the first judge divided the custody part of the SDA case to rancho courthouse and kept the child support part in san Berdoo. It makes thing just really difficult not only for me but for the court clerks as well-they keep having to talk to their supervisors anytime I file in Rancho to figure out if they can let me file there.

That's because the rancho courthouse is the proper filing court for all custody/visitation issues... San Berdoo does all child support issues through CSSD. It's done correctly. Where is this attorney you were going to retain? You may want to ask him to see if the judge would split the cases and order the rancho courthouse to issue a case number simply for the custody/visitation issues and file a notice of related cases. Otherwise, however everything else is filed in that case, you file the same way.

 

[summerdawn]

That's because the rancho courthouse is the proper filing court for all custody/visitation issues... San Berdoo does all child support issues through CSSD. It's done correctly. Where is this attorney you were going to retain? You may want to ask him to see if the judge would split the cases and order the rancho courthouse to issue a case number simply for the custody/visitation issues and file a notice of related cases. Otherwise, however everything else is filed in that case, you file the same way.

I found out I couldn't afford the attorney so I met with a paralegal who is putting the paperwork together from a few pages of modifcation requests I typed out for her. Can I address the case number issue when I go to court and ask the judge to assign a case number and make me petitioner in this case that is related to the child support case? I know that is some seriously awkward wording, i'm sorry lol. I do understand what you wrote, I hope the question makes sense.