abuse from 40 years ago

[julia805]

What is the name of your state? Louisiana
A man who was severly abused as a child by his mother... physical and emotional... is now having to take his elderly mother into care. He does not want the woman anywhere near him, let alone living with him. He is wondering if the option of pressing charges for abuse is still available.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Louisiana
A man who was severly abused as a child by his mother... physical and emotional... is now having to take his elderly mother into care. He does not want the woman anywhere near him, let alone living with him. He is wondering if the option of pressing charges for abuse is still available.

I suspect that the statute of limitations has passed. However, how is he being "forced" into allowing her to live with him? Its his option whether or not to take on that responsibility.

 

[julia805]

Two older siblings have endured 10 years each caring for her.... each almost lost their marriage because of it. Now on top of being evil, she is losing her mind to old age. It is said that she will never die because she is too afraid to, afraid to face what might lie on the other side of death. This woman beat the crap out of a two year old because he threw up in his crib, put his teeth through his lips at four with a frying pan, tied him to the bed post so he couldn't get away while she whipped him... because he had ruined her life. He is afraid of what he might do to her if she is in his care, but the other siblings are done and he feels obligated to them. What might happen if she was just left... without a place to stay, without anyone to care for her? Would it be elderly abuse? This is all morbid, but there is no way to color it pretty.

 

[Jay2]

What about a nurseing home? Then she wouldn't have to be anywhere near you.

 

[julia805]

Right now she is in another state with one of the other siblings who is moving to a third state and not taking the mom. It was said that he was to pay for the plane ticket to have her come to him. He doesn't even want to do that much... he wants to do absolutely nothing for her. I looked to see what a nursing home would entail and it comes down to money. This man has taken a serious financial loss recently and is battling cancer. The idea of anything being added to his load brings to mind his end.

 

[Veronica1228]

Right now she is in another state with one of the other siblings who is moving to a third state and not taking the mom. It was said that he was to pay for the plane ticket to have her come to him. He doesn't even want to do that much... he wants to do absolutely nothing for her. I looked to see what a nursing home would entail and it comes down to money. This man has taken a serious financial loss recently and is battling cancer. The idea of anything being added to his load brings to mind his end.

Doesn't the mother qualify for things like SSI, Medicare, Medicaid etc? They would foot the bill for the nursing home expenses usually. You just have to find the right ones.

 

[julia805]

So what if she does qualify, is it his responsibility legally to help her figure out where she is going to live? He sees her coming as a threat to his life. Although she cannot hurt him physically anymore, mentally she is still able to wreak havoc. jShe is to arrive this week. He was not notified until the middle of last week. There has been no time for investigating options. His work requires that he travel and I doubt he'll even be in town when she comes. Can he leave her at the airport... not meet her... and be at risk of penalty under elder law?

 

[LdiJ]

So what if she does qualify, is it his responsibility legally to help her figure out where she is going to live? He sees her coming as a threat to his life. Although she cannot hurt him physically anymore, mentally she is still able to wreak havoc. jShe is to arrive this week. He was not notified until the middle of last week. There has been no time for investigating options. His work requires that he travel and I doubt he'll even be in town when she comes. Can he leave her at the airport... not meet her... and be at risk of penalty under elder law?

Its actually the responsibility of the person whose custody she is in now. Not his. He can simply refuse. I suggest that he tell his sibling that he refuses, and suggest that the sibling investigate nursing homes, social security and medicare. I also suggest that he tell his sibling that he won't even be in town because he will be traveling for work.....and that if the sibling puts her on the plane it will be elder abuse.

 

[casa]

So what if she does qualify, is it his responsibility legally to help her figure out where she is going to live? He sees her coming as a threat to his life. Although she cannot hurt him physically anymore, mentally she is still able to wreak havoc. jShe is to arrive this week. He was not notified until the middle of last week. There has been no time for investigating options. His work requires that he travel and I doubt he'll even be in town when she comes. Can he leave her at the airport... not meet her... and be at risk of penalty under elder law?

Even if statute of limitations had not run out- With her elderly and losing her mental capacity, charges wouldn't get very far anyway.

He needs to stand up for himself, finally, when it matters most & tell his sibling he WILL NOT do this. He needs to be firm and let them know he WILL NOT pick her up...and in fact, he WILL NOT even be in town due to work. He is battling/recovering from cancer and definately does not need this.

He may risk his relationship with his siblings- but it appears that would be worth keeping his sanity.

 

[julia805]

can the sibling taking care of her now tell her she is on her own? When does it become a legal responsibility to care for her? On one side, it's said there is NO legal responsibility, and then on the other it's said that if someone doesn't, there will be legal reprocussions.

 

[julia805]

I don't understand... ''legal custody"? Of an adult?

 

[LdiJ]

I don't understand... ''legal custody"? Of an adult?

Odds are that nobody has "legal custody" of this adult...however she IS incapacitated and one of her children does currently have physical custody.

Legal custody is possible, and often common with the elderly...although I believe that most states would call it guardianship.

In any case...I again urge your friend to refuse.