seniorjudge
Senior Member
stealth2 said:
Amen and amen. And NEVER say, "It's the principle of the thing."
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accusations
- Thread starter lquid_user
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Amen and amen. And NEVER say, "It's the principle of the thing."
too bad....
unsure if they do or not but don't judges in these cases look at which parent might be more cooperative with the other when it comes to custody? Giving custody to a parent that doesn't want to cooperate or compromise anything seems like it would cause a lot more problems than giving custody to a parent who is willing to work things out....
unsure if they do or not but don't judges in these cases look at which parent might be more cooperative with the other when it comes to custody? Giving custody to a parent that doesn't want to cooperate or compromise anything seems like it would cause a lot more problems than giving custody to a parent who is willing to work things out....
seniorjudge
Senior Member
Q: unsure if they do or not but don't judges in these cases look at which parent might be more cooperative with the other when it comes to custody?
A: One would hope that this is a factor to consider, but it's kind of hard to tell in a lot of cases which parent is going to be co-operative and which is not.
A: One would hope that this is a factor to consider, but it's kind of hard to tell in a lot of cases which parent is going to be co-operative and which is not.
lquid_user
Member
some days
c-jane: perhaps this is a common problem, it seems that nothing I think is simple or worked out really is. No matter what it was or how much I thought we ageed, the next day or whenever the time comes, we don't agree. the kids have been left at daycare repeatedly because of things like this. Finally I quit agreeing to any changes or deviations to the visitation schedule of any sort.
and now
lizbeth17, and seniorjudge,
I now look uncooperative because I will no longer give an inch, however my reasoning has nothing to do with principle. I just don't want be confused or confusing. Really it is easier for me, her, kids, and daycare if we just stick to the plan. But I did try to be flexible early on, and it was just a very trying experience. again it certainly isn't in the childrens best interest to be left at daycare, maybe I'm being much too simple with the no deviation rule, but it has saved me a lot of hassle.
Thanks, at least there are people who can relate huh?? and apparently no shortage. I feel like I just joined tha fastest growing club in america. at the low low cost of $19.95
c-jane: perhaps this is a common problem, it seems that nothing I think is simple or worked out really is. No matter what it was or how much I thought we ageed, the next day or whenever the time comes, we don't agree. the kids have been left at daycare repeatedly because of things like this. Finally I quit agreeing to any changes or deviations to the visitation schedule of any sort.
and now
lizbeth17, and seniorjudge,
I now look uncooperative because I will no longer give an inch, however my reasoning has nothing to do with principle. I just don't want be confused or confusing. Really it is easier for me, her, kids, and daycare if we just stick to the plan. But I did try to be flexible early on, and it was just a very trying experience. again it certainly isn't in the childrens best interest to be left at daycare, maybe I'm being much too simple with the no deviation rule, but it has saved me a lot of hassle.
Thanks, at least there are people who can relate huh?? and apparently no shortage. I feel like I just joined tha fastest growing club in america. at the low low cost of $19.95
mom6stepmom2
Member
Well, my husband recorded phone conversations with his ex for a couple of years. Good grief. She was all over the place. Some conversation she was so stoned you could barely understand what she was saying. Some conversations she was so wired and talking so fast you couldn't hardly understand her. But the common theme through all phone calls was her threats, name calling, putting the kids on the phone with her screaming in the background telling them to tell their father how much they hate him, tell him what a f**k up he is, tell your father you never want to see him again, etc. One phone call she threatened to take the dog to the pound and have it put to sleep if the kids didn't say what she was screaming.
One particular phone call she was so angry she took out her loaded 38 and fired it through the wall to prove how angry she was.
My husband started recording the kids with their mother the first summer they came to visit after my husband moved out to where I was already living. She told the oldest child (he is very large kid, taking after his father) to pound his little step-siblings into the ground if they made him mad. Body slam them, put them in the hospital, etc. She told him that she has custody and there would be nothing dad could do about it. Dad isn't allowed to repremand the kids in any way.
She later on started telling the younger child (a girl) that we were touching her in inappropriate ways and that she was to remember this so she could tell a social worker. She would tell the child that she is being beaten. She would tell the child this over and over and over. Then if when she would ask her again later in the conversation if these things happened to her and the child said no mom that didn't happen, then mom would start repeating herself again.
My husband was able to use these conversations. The 11th circuit court of appeals ruled that a parent can vicariously consent to recording their childs phone conversations if they believe the child is being harmed in some way.
My advice is keep recording as long as it is legal in your state. Both Oregon and Georgia are one party notification state. Meaning only one of the two people involved in the conversation need know the recording is going on. Namely the person doing the recording.
It worked for us.
One particular phone call she was so angry she took out her loaded 38 and fired it through the wall to prove how angry she was.
My husband started recording the kids with their mother the first summer they came to visit after my husband moved out to where I was already living. She told the oldest child (he is very large kid, taking after his father) to pound his little step-siblings into the ground if they made him mad. Body slam them, put them in the hospital, etc. She told him that she has custody and there would be nothing dad could do about it. Dad isn't allowed to repremand the kids in any way.
She later on started telling the younger child (a girl) that we were touching her in inappropriate ways and that she was to remember this so she could tell a social worker. She would tell the child that she is being beaten. She would tell the child this over and over and over. Then if when she would ask her again later in the conversation if these things happened to her and the child said no mom that didn't happen, then mom would start repeating herself again.
My husband was able to use these conversations. The 11th circuit court of appeals ruled that a parent can vicariously consent to recording their childs phone conversations if they believe the child is being harmed in some way.
My advice is keep recording as long as it is legal in your state. Both Oregon and Georgia are one party notification state. Meaning only one of the two people involved in the conversation need know the recording is going on. Namely the person doing the recording.
It worked for us.
lquid_user
Member
wow!
I'm so glad my situation is not that bad. Sorry you all had to go through that. is it all settled down now?? I hope.
Fortunately, it works similarly in minnesota. I would be able to use the tapes to directly contradict her testimony in court ie. she says" x" we ask " didn't you say y?" she says " no no x" and we say "hmmmm listen to this" I don't know what makes it legal but it is, and thats good.
At least she isn't making threats of that degree, or using firearms, and luckily the drug problem is relatively minor.
thank you
I'm so glad my situation is not that bad. Sorry you all had to go through that. is it all settled down now?? I hope.
Fortunately, it works similarly in minnesota. I would be able to use the tapes to directly contradict her testimony in court ie. she says" x" we ask " didn't you say y?" she says " no no x" and we say "hmmmm listen to this" I don't know what makes it legal but it is, and thats good.
At least she isn't making threats of that degree, or using firearms, and luckily the drug problem is relatively minor.
thank you
mom6stepmom2
Member
lquid_user said:I'm so glad my situation is not that bad. Sorry you all had to go through that. is it all settled down now?? I hope.
Fortunately, it works similarly in minnesota. I would be able to use the tapes to directly contradict her testimony in court ie. she says" x" we ask " didn't you say y?" she says " no no x" and we say "hmmmm listen to this" I don't know what makes it legal but it is, and thats good.
At least she isn't making threats of that degree, or using firearms, and luckily the drug problem is relatively minor.
thank you
Yes, custody has finally been settled. My husband transcribed some of the recordings. Some of the more outlandish ones. They were talked about in the temporary custody hearing. The ex's attorney subpoena'd the tapes after the temp hearing. There were 29 ninety minute tapes. Probably cost the ex a fortune in attorney fees. The tapes were definately a factor in the ex wanting to settle and not go to a final custody hearing. Of course they weren't the only factor though. But they did play heavily into things.
Thankfully, ex doesn't call the kids anymore. Email for about 2 1/2 months now, but still no calls. She has not phoned the kids in 8 months now. She has not seen the in 17 months.
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