adopting stepchild in Pennsylvania

[Silverplum]

That's true but many 16 yr olds wouldn't imagine this and many step parents never decide to adopt so it wouldn't be an issue for many.

Thanks for ending this.

Of course it's true.

And no, it may not be an issue for some people. Doesn't make it "not fraud," though.

Someday, your child is going to be furious at you. But, of course, that's a conversation for someone who'd appreciate learning something.

 

[Proserpina]

They're the attorneys on base. We're allowed to use them at our (the military members) digression such as adopting a stepchild. Since this is the case, it looks like we'll put it on hold until we can talk to them again. Thank goodness we'll be moving back there within the next year.

Thank you for your help. I truly appreciate it.

You need to listen also to SilverPlum.

She is merely telling you the cold harsh truth - that you have committed fraud, and it MAY (not will, necessarily, but may) become a stumbling block. Yes, it's fraud even when all three parties are willing participants.

And please, whatever you decide to do, don't lie to your child. She deserves to know the truth.

 

[Ohiogal]

That wasn't fraud. We were young and dumb. I thought I was going to be with him forever and the everyone knew including the medical staff that he was not the bio dad. We were also given an affidavit stating he would take responsibility for her. Is that really fraud when all parties are aware of it? I believe it's more stupidity on my part. Plus, I thought we were going to stay together and get married and all that silly teen stuff. Is that still fraud when all parties are aware of it and don't have a problem with it? I doubt I'm the first person to do this.

Actually it was fraud. YOU and HE fraudulently signed an affidavit of paternity -- which is punishable as being perjury -- which in many states is a FELONY. Yep, the two of you committed a crime. What you thought didn't matter. What you did was NOT legal.

You need an attorney. He is the legal father however and he would have to be properly served -- by either posting, publication or both if you can't do personal.

 

[ecmst12]

What efforts have YOU made over the past 7 years to foster a relationship between your child and her legal father?

 

[dierlingtr]

My child does know. We are very open in our home. She has always known that when my husband and I got married it was after she was born and that I was young when I had her. She also knows that she has a different father than her brother and sister. We do not keep secrets from our children. I find it harsh to hide something so important.

I understand the other person was telling me the cold hard truth. It was just the way about it that was inappropriate. No one needs to be talked down upon especially when they are looking for help. I do now understand what was done was fraud and feel foolish for never being told before. But what's done is done and we are working on fixing it now.

On another note, I have never held my child back from her legal father. He has known my phone number, email address, etc to get in contact with me if willing. I have not changed my phone number for him to get a hold of me either. If he wanted anything to do with her then he could but he doesn't and wont. It is not my responsibility to get him involved. He is a grown man and that is on him. There are plenty of dead beats out there...

You need to listen also to SilverPlum.

She is merely telling you the cold harsh truth - that you have committed fraud, and it MAY (not will, necessarily, but may) become a stumbling block. Yes, it's fraud even when all three parties are willing participants.

And please, whatever you decide to do, don't lie to your child. She deserves to know the truth.

 

[ecmst12]

But what ACTIVE steps have you taken to encourage the relationship? There is more to successful co-parenting then simply giving dad your phone number and leaving all the effort to him. That doesn't meet the definition of "fostering a relationship". You're not HINDERING the relationship but you're not helping it either.