Adoption of teenager

[AnotherTenant]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

Some months ago my friend's child was removed from her home by CPS. Child has been living with an adult sibling and his family since that time.

It now appears that CPS intends to terminate Friend's parental rights, and I am exploring the possibility of seeking to adopt Child, with whom I have an ongoing, positive relationship, if this happens, but there are some concerns I have before making the decision.

1) Ultimately, I believe the best thing would be for the child to remain in her brother's home, in which case I would not seek to adopt her. Is it possible that the state would allow her to remain there, as things are, until she turns 18 (she's currently 13), or would adoption be the preferred course of action? (Her brother is not willing/able to adopt her.)

2) What exactly does terminating mom's parental rights mean? This may sound silly, but I have visions of the poor kid as a tetherless child, running around in a world with no parents' names on her birth certificate, and my goal is to prevent her from feeling parentless. If this isn't really the case, then NOT being adopted and simply being allowed to live out the next five years as someone's foster daughter may well be the best option for her.

3) There is no doubt in my mind that in 5 years, when child is an adult, she will reestablish a relationship with her mother. Keeping that in mind, would it be better for her to NOT be adopted? I feel like adopting her may, in some way, strip her of her identity. Or am I just melodramatizing the situation?

I'd appreciate any input/advice you may have for me, and also if anyone has any similar questions that you think I need to consider, I'd like to hear those, as well. I want to think this through from every angle before making a decision that will certainly change the course of this child's life.

 

[nextwife]

Where is her father?

 

[AnotherTenant]

My apologies. He is deceased.

 

[LdiJ]

My apologies. He is deceased.

I see no reason why cps would remove the child from her brother. There is no reason why he couldn't remain her guardian until she turns 18. I doubt that cps would insist that she be adopted at age 13.

 

[AnotherTenant]

I see no reason why cps would remove the child from her brother. There is no reason why he couldn't remain her guardian until she turns 18. I doubt that cps would insist that she be adopted at age 13.

Thank you. In that case I will just quit worrying about the situation and focus on maintaining a positive relationship with the entire family. At least unless/until the situation changes.

I appreciate your taking the time to set my mind at ease.

 

[CJane]

Also, at 13, it's very likely that the child would have to consent to the adoption. She'd have to CHOOSE for you to become her new mother.

 

[single317dad]

I see no reason why cps would remove the child from her brother.

I do, if Mom is deemed a danger to the child and the brother intends to facilitate a continued relationship between the child and Mom. That said, I think odds are that if CPS wasn't satisfied with the brother as a guardian then the child likely wouldn't be there now.

 

[AnotherTenant]

Also, at 13, it's very likely that the child would have to consent to the adoption. She'd have to CHOOSE for you to become her new mother.

I'd never even consider asking her to do that, so thank you for closing the book on that line of thought for me altogether.

 

[Silverplum]

It's a very kind thought, AnotherTenant.

Maybe you'd like to become a foster parent? There are tons of children who need homes.

 

[LdiJ]

I do, if Mom is deemed a danger to the child and the brother intends to facilitate a continued relationship between the child and Mom. That said, I think odds are that if CPS wasn't satisfied with the brother as a guardian then the child likely wouldn't be there now.

That is why I said that. CPS would have already done their investigation before placing the child with the brother at all. Therefore they would have no reason to make any changes now.