adoptive father removed from birth certificate

[leiga]

Tennessee**************..My mother remarried and he adopted me, now they have been divorced and i'm of age, want to take him off of my birth certificate...he isn't a very nice person... how can i get his name off of my birth certificate?

 

[nextwife]

So, if our parents divorce and one of them is not a very nice person, we can have the not nice parent removed from the birth certificate? I did not know that.

Mom should not have had him adopt if she was not in a stable relationship with someone she felt was a good father to you. He could not have adopted without her approval and her active effort to remove biodad's rights.

Has dad been supporting you all this time?

 

[Gracie3787]

Tennessee**************..My mother remarried and he adopted me, now they have been divorced and i'm of age, want to take him off of my birth certificate...he isn't a very nice person... how can i get his name off of my birth certificate?

You can't just take a parent's name off of your BC.

You do have the option of having someone adopt you, which will put a new father on.

Or, you can legally change your name so that you do not have the same last name as your father, but that does not remove him from your BC.

 

[leiga]

I think you misunderstood my question. My adoptive father raped me at 14 years old, my mother divorced him because of this. I have sinse met my real father, who is refusing to put his name back on my BC for his own personal reasons which I don't understand. I am reminded daily of my rapist, every time I sign my name. So, I should have been more clear earlier, and appolgize for the lack of info before. Can you tell me if there is a way for me to get the adoption "erased" for lack of better term? I would be happy with my BC saying father unknown, and take on my mother's maiden name. I want children and grandchildren one day and I don't want this man in my family tree, he has no place. There has to be something I can do about this. I cannot live with this man's name, he isn't my father, and has hurt me in ways no one should ever have to be hurt. My mental health is suffering just from the fact that I seem to be stuck with his name for the rest of my life. Please help me, instead of judging and patronizing me, I am speaking to you nextwife. It's a shame People should have to air every little embarrassing detail just to get an intelligent answer these days. Please, not to be mean, but if you have nothing productive to say, don't respond to this question. I take this matter very seriously and don't have time or patience for the upsets caused by that type of ignorance.

 

[mmmagique]

Unfortunately, the answer legally remains the same. You are your own person though, and don't have to be reminded of your attacker daily. You can legally change your name to whatever you would like for it to be.
Best to you.

 

[leiga]

thank you Magique

 

[justalayman]

your bio father can't put his name back on your BC. Your adopted father is your father.

I don't agree with it but it is how they do things. Personally I believe a birth certificate is a record of the facts at birth but it seems you can change just about anything on your BC, including your gender if you have it changed during your life.

anyway, since you are an adult, you can change your name anytime you want. Contact your local courthouse for information. I do not believe it is very a very complex action in Tenn. but I cannot find any specific state published direction for what you need to do.

I do not believe you can simply "undo" an adoption.

the best I can suggest for that is a good eraser and a lot of counseling.

 

[leiga]

I need warm and fuzzies just as much as I need the ignorance displayed in the first reply I got. Thank you for the facts, I find those much more productive.

 

[nextwife]

I need warm and fuzzies just as much as I need the ignorance displayed in the first reply I got. Thank you for the facts, I find those much more productive.

It's not ignorance, it is FACT. Regardless of what our legal parents do, we can't just remove them. We can go on with our lives, but, just as we can't just undo our bioparents, we can't undo our adoptive parent. Their actions or niceness has no bearing on our legal relationship with our legal parents.

 

[stealth2]

I need warm and fuzzies just as much as I need the ignorance displayed in the first reply I got. Thank you for the facts, I find those much more productive.

You got the facts in the first response - you just didn't like the delivery.

I'd suggest changing your name and having some serious therapy.

 

[shandramarie13]

Wow, actually, I don't think she got many facts in that reply either. Looks more like a few deluted facts with a lot of judgement and sarcasm from the mail order mommy. She wasn't asking for a psych evaluation, she was asking for legal advice. I took that as fairly ignorant myself next wife, btw, how much younger are you than the first wife? Leiga, you need to change your name reguardless of what you can do with your birth certificate. There is a such thing as an adult adoption, but I've heard it's tricky, you may want to look further into that.

 

[Proserpina]

Wow, actually, I don't think she got many facts in that reply either. Looks more like a few deluted facts with a lot of judgement and sarcasm from the mail order mommy. She wasn't asking for a psych evaluation, she was asking for legal advice. I took that as fairly ignorant myself next wife, btw, how much younger are you than the first wife? Leiga, you need to change your name reguardless of what you can do with your birth certificate. There is a such thing as an adult adoption, but I've heard it's tricky, you may want to look further into that.

oh, please.

 

[justalayman]

a few deluted facts)

would that be deluted like in diminished strength or deluted like in meant to mislead one's mind?

I would guess you meant deluded but even if you did, you did not use the term properly.

and as always, the advice is free, the sarcasm and judgment is just that little extra we like to provide.

 

[shandramarie13]

di·lute
   /dɪˈlut, daɪ-; adj. also ˈdaɪlut/ Show Spelled [dih-loot, dahy-; adj. also -dahy-loot] Show IPA verb,-lut·ed, -lut·ing, adjective
–verb (used with object)
1.
to make (a liquid) thinner or weaker by the addition of water or the like.
2.
to make fainter, as a color.
3.
to reduce the strength, force, or efficiency of by admixture.
WATERED DOWN


I certainly am not trying to argue with a bunch of lawyers, especially when I have my own question on here, I just really think that was rude and I think continuing to insult and patronize this girl even after she had the courage to publicly post her situation is really low class.

 

[justalayman]

well, if nothing else, you learned how to spell diluted.

yes, the girl has been through a lot and nextwife spoke a bit harshly but in defense of nextwife, the OP had not given much info other than she didn't like her adopted father and wanted him off her BC. You need to understand that there are a lot of people that ask for directions to do something like this just because they are pissed off at somebody.

The OP has apparently been through a lot and I see nothing wrong with her request due to the situation she explained in her second post. It still does not change the answers she got.

and about the psych evaluation; that is exactly what the girl needs so she can learn to deal with what happened. While her actions may give her some relief, it is nowhere close to what she needs altogether to get her beyond what is troubling her.