Advice Please!

[Ron1347]

My wife and I had done foster care for a number of years. We had a good many children placed in our care, for a multitude of reasons, brief to long term. Some of those reasons were for much as you describe. I saw an NCP have his child taken from him by authorities during one of his visitation weeks. I saw that child placed in protective custody (foster care), and not even the CP could get her child back for what ended up being a full 6 months. The mother didn't actually have a part in the reason that the NCP lost the child, but was however aware of the 'possible' existing issue, but never did anything about it. That's why the 'CP' lost her child for 6 months as well, until a very lengthy evaluation was completed. Just thought I would add an experience that I know of.

 

[Rushia]

My wife and I had done foster care for a number of years. We had a good many children placed in our care, for a multitude of reasons, brief to long term. Some of those reasons were for much as you describe. I saw an NCP have his child taken from him by authorities during one of his visitation weeks. I saw that child placed in protective custody (foster care), and not even the CP could get her child back for what ended up being a full 6 months. The mother didn't actually have a part in the reason that the NCP lost the child, but was however aware of the 'possible' existing issue, but never did anything about it. That's why the 'CP' lost her child for 6 months as well, until a very lengthy evaluation was completed. Just thought I would add an experience that I know of.

Which is the reason that she should be concerned and as I was too. Unfortunetly for CP's, judges too often hear "drug" issues, so that unless there is actual proof, we're screwed. Either it's you need proof to bring it up in court or that you knew and did nothing.

 

[huntersmommy06]

You can impress this upon dad without bashing or harassing him or damaging the amicable relationship that you are building. I am actually pretty "neutral" when it comes to pot (not other drugs) as long as parents use some basic common sense. I KNOW people who are excellent parents but occasionally smoke pot. I am not saying that I think its right...I am saying that it hasn't diminished their ability to be good parents. The key is making dad realize that he has to use common sense....PLUS, as Rmet says he has to both realize and find that there are other ways to manage his pain.

However there should never be evidence in his car...that is simply foolish. He should never do it the day that he is to pick Hunter up for visitation nor during any time that he has Hunter....nor should there be ANY evidence available during that time either.

I have been pretty "neutral" myself when it comes to this issue, just not with my son. It's just never been a part of my lifestyle choices There are too many ramifications if common sense is not used. I pick my son up today at 5:00pm and I will discuss this with him rationally (oftentimes dad sees things his own way). Like I said earlier, I don't believe he had bad intentions, but I just want him to be aware of the consequences for all of us.

Thank you for your knowledge on the subject as I have never had to deal with issues like this or even know anyone who has and I appreciate your help.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm glad you found that link helpful, that may be why he sees things a different way. I'm so glad the weekend visitations have gone well.