advise for unwed expecting mother

[snowangel4]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
We are concerned parents of a 22 yr old daughter expecting a baby. Our daughter still lives at home with us and she is still dating the childs father. We dont see a future in their relationship. The father has a drinking problem and an anger control problem as well. We dont want to worry about her having a custody issue in the future. I there anything that can be done to protect their future.

 

[Chelle0511]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
We are concerned parents of a 22 yr old daughter expecting a baby. Our daughter still lives at home with us and she is still dating the childs father. We dont see a future in their relationship. The father has a drinking problem and an anger control problem as well. We dont want to worry about her having a custody issue in the future. I there anything that can be done to protect their future.

~Your child is an adult... obviously she sees this man fit. If and when she does not it will be her job to take care of it. Sit down relax and let your daughter be an adult and a mother

 

[rpowers2380]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
We are concerned parents of a 22 yr old daughter expecting a baby. Our daughter still lives at home with us and she is still dating the childs father. We dont see a future in their relationship. The father has a drinking problem and an anger control problem as well. We dont want to worry about her having a custody issue in the future. I there anything that can be done to protect their future.

I was in the same boat as your daughter was in a little over a year ago. I thought the father of my daughter was the best thing alive. But after I had my daughter, my viewpoint changed on anything and everything. But it was definately something that I had to do. Just as I am sure you are aware, after you have a child it changes your whole world. It doesn't seem real until the moment you hold the baby for the first time.
What I would reccomend, if she continue's to see the father of the baby I would still go to court. Have documents set saying who the baby lives with, when "visitation" is, and everything else that is concerning. I am sure when the baby comes and the father is out drinking, your daughter will get really tired of it fast. See if the courts in your state will give her custody w/the baby living with you guys and have her be the one who makes the final decisions...that is what I have currently. B/c if they break up, she won't have to run everything through the b/f. Just some suggestions, I am not from your state, and as I am sure you know...every state is different!
I wish you the best, and just let your daughter do what she feels right. Just because something seems one way now, doesn't mean it won't change. Good luck, and remember everything gets better with time!

 

[Phnx02]

What is the name of your state? Illinois
We are concerned parents of a 22 yr old daughter expecting a baby. Our daughter still lives at home with us and she is still dating the childs father. We dont see a future in their relationship. The father has a drinking problem and an anger control problem as well. We dont want to worry about her having a custody issue in the future. I there anything that can be done to protect their future.

Only your daughter can decide whether or not she wants to continue seeing the father. Regardless, she really needs to have everything concerning the child "on paper" ie; a court order for custody, visitation and child support. This will make things go smoother if they should ever split up.

Paternity will need to be legally established. In some states, if the man signs the birth certificate, he is then responsible for CS for the next 18 years (and gets visitation)......whether or not it's later learned he's NOT the bio father. In other states, the presumed father has no rights to the child (nor has to pay child support) until a DNA test is performed to prove he's the father. Until a father is named and proven, the mother automatically has full custody of the child she bore. But the mother doesn't have to be the one to request this......the B/F can ask for paternity and his vistitation rights at any time. Your daughter should file for all the above soon after the child is born. You may not like the B/F, but unless he's proven unfit by the courts, he has rights to his child and he must pay cs to help support it.