Against the law

[syskjw]

What is the name of your state? Fl.
I have had recieved custody of my daughter on December 18, 2002. On December 12, 2005 we just went to mediation to come up with a visitation agreement for the mother. The mother has sinse already violated things in the agreement on January 26-Feb1. I sent her a certified letter informing her of her violations and sent a copy to my attorny. This past weekend when my daughter came home she had informed us that her step father had been drinking alchol around her on Saturday and Sunday also having the beer in the car when she was dropped off. My daughter also informed me that her step father had driven the car around while the mother went into the grocery store. Step father does not have a license.; it was taken away because he does not pay child support.IN our mediation agrreement it had a line titled consumption of alchol and illicit drugs that the parties agree that they shall not consume for a period of 8 hours prior to or during any visitation with the minor child. Of course the mother denied the beer being in the car but did say that the step father had been drinking. She said she asked the mediator if this agreement included her husband and he said no it just pertains to her and the father. I called and spoke to my attornys receptionist and she said she would check into it. Now I should jump back to December of 2002. When I recieved custody of my daughter the judge had ordered that any one that my daughter was in care of was not to drink alchol. The reason for that judgement was because the mother admitted the step father drinks around her, drove a vehicle after drinking with her in the car and had wrecked her car and one of the examples would be he busted a beer bottle on her wind shield cracking the wind shield while my daughter was in the car. I know the mediation agreement only pretands to the parents but wouldn't that order from a judge still be inforced? And what can I do about the step father operating a vehicle with my daughter in the car without a license and having a open beer in the car.

 

[LdiJ]

I think that the mediator is right in this case. The child is in the care of her mother and if her mother is not drinking it doesn't violate the order. Now, if she left the child alone with the stepfather while he was drinking that might be a different story.

Can you PROVE that stepdad was driving with your child in the car?...and that he had an open container in the car?...or do you have only the child's word on this?

 

[weenor]

The agreement you came to in mediation is the new order....so the judge's previous order regarding step dad is no good. Your agreement says "the parties"- that would only be you and mom because step dad is not a party to the action. If step dad is driving when the kid is dropped off, get his license plate number and call the cops.

 

[stealth2]

(edit) Okay, the kid is 5/6. So she walks into your home after spending time with her Mom and says "He Daddy! StepDad did X, Y, and Z while I was there!", right? Or do you probe for the information?

 

[syskjw]

I do not probe. My daughter knows that no one is suppose to drink around her it had been this way for three years. She came to me and said daddy Chris was drinking around me and he had a beer in the car. I know proving that he had a beer in the car is a diffrent story brcause I did not see it. It is my daughts word against theirs. They can say it was a soda can. But you can clearly see some one driving so how can they explain my daughter misunderstanding that and the mother never denied that the step father drove while my daughter was in the car she just states their was no beer in the car. And I did not see Chris driving. My daughter states that they where out of food so her mom had to grocery shopping and went inside leaving all the kids with Chris in the car and he drove around till her mom came out.

 

[weenor]

I do not probe. My daughter knows that no one is suppose to drink around her it had been this way for three years. She came to me and said daddy Chris was drinking around me and he had a beer in the car. I know proving that he had a beer in the car is a diffrent story brcause I did not see it. It is my daughts word against theirs. They can say it was a soda can. But you can clearly see some one driving so how can they explain that and the mother never denied that the step father drove while my daughter was in the car she just states their was no beer in the car.

Again, if you saw him driving and you know he doesn't have a license why didn't you call the cops?

 

[syskjw]

I never seen the step father driving.

 

[CJane]

I do not probe. My daughter knows that no one is suppose to drink around her it had been this way for three years. She came to me and said daddy Chris was drinking around me and he had a beer in the car. I know proving that he had a beer in the car is a diffrent story brcause I did not see it. It is my daughts word against theirs. They can say it was a soda can. But you can clearly see some one driving so how can they explain my daughter misunderstanding that and the mother never denied that the step father drove while my daughter was in the car she just states their was no beer in the car. And I did not see Chris driving. My daughter states that they where out of food so her mom had to grocery shopping and went inside leaving all the kids with Chris in the car and he drove around till her mom came out.

Why did a child at 2/3 'know that no one is supposed to drink around her' unless she was TOLD that in an effort to get her to tattle if it happened?

That's the problem with such things put into court orders. They sound good, and judges will grant them, but they're near impossible to prove unless you see the person out in public, with the child, consuming alcohol. Or, unless you have a home breathylizer kit so you can test them for alcohol every time the child is picked up/dropped off.

A 5 or 6 or 16 year old should NEVER be put in a position where they tattle on the other parent.

And honestly, who cares if he was driving around a parking lot on a suspended license? Yeah, it's not legal... but neither is speeding and I can bet you do THAT.

 

[Just Blue]

Again, if you saw him driving and you know he doesn't have a license why didn't you call the cops?

He didn't see it ,,,his daughter told him...

 

[syskjw]

Don't most young children tattle on anything. And all parents should have good communications with their children for when some one is doing something that they know is illigal or bad during their presence to tell their parents. And yes speeding is illegal; but you get tickets for speeding. A person with no license is getting arrested and if children are with that person and no one else is their the kid or kids have to set in limbo until someone is contacted to get them.

 

[stealth2]

Whether they tattle or not is moot. Your child is too young to be credible (if you even seriously thought about having her testify). You need tangible proof.

 

[CJane]

Don't most young children tattle on anything. And all parents should have good communications with their children for when some one is doing something that they know is illigal or bad during their presence to tell their parents. And yes speeding is illegal; but you get tickets for speeding. A person with no license is getting arrested and if children are with that person and no one else is their the kid or kids have to set in limbo until someone is contacted to get them.

Around here, you get tickets for driving on a suspended license too... especially if it was just suspended for child support, not DUI or something.

And someone else WAS there. The mother was inside the grocery store. What's Sdad going to get pulled over for in a parking lot?

 

[Gevalia]

But isn't a parking lot a PVA, and therefore someone with no license may legally drive around in a parking lot?

 

[syskjw]

Accidents happen in parking lots. And I do not know if they where just driving around in the parking alot. My daughter said they drove around till her mom came out. And what age do they consider to be reliable source?

 

[CJane]

Accidents happen in parking lots. And I do not know if they where just driving around in the parking alot. My daughter said they drove around till her mom came out.

This is all academic anyway. Without something in the order that states that SDad cannot drink around the child, it's irrelevant if he's passed out cold by 5pm every day - or noon for that matter.

Without PROOF that he's driving around w/out a license, there's nothing you can do. And even WITH PROOF that he's driving around on a suspended license, there's likely little you can do.

If he gets pulled over, and he DOES get arrested, then you have proof.

Anything your daughter tells you is heresay.