Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

[NYMOM]

Sorry just venting! I am trying to be supportive of my husband and am trying to do what is best for my step-son but his bio-mother is driving me up a wall. She has no problem what so ever with us having him more...actually it will be more than she has them. However, sh estill wants all th emoney and wants to do everything she can to try an dkeep me out of his life, even if it is best for him. I understand that she is his mother and I would never try and change that, I have my own son and can only imagine what that would be like. For example the the therapists my step son sees have said it would be much easier for them to see him and work with him if they could see him during the day...I will be home during the day because I have changed schedules at work for my kids (steps and natural) they think it's wonderful and perfect for them. She has now tried to tell them that she doesn't want them in my house unless my husband is here. Not that the child can't be here with me alone..he just can't have therapy here with me. She said she doesn't want me at mediation, which I decided fine I won't argue....but she is also saying that I shouldn't be there because I am not involved in his life...which is not true. She also wants us to take him for the entire month of july, which is fine but my family is having a reunion in july and she won't let him go but she also doesn't want him with her. She also demands that he go to day care three days a week when he is with us even though we would rather have hime home.....can she make all these demands...My husband and her already share joint-legal custody.

And I also found out that she just started posting on here...so my venting will also..I'm sure receive some response from her. However, nothing I am saying is a secret or something she isn't aware of so I am not concerned with her seeing it. I am not trying to hurt anyone I'm just trying to help my step-son and husband.

 

[mouse99]

i just posted a reply to her post and let me tell you know you go girl. if shes not intirested in her own child well being and you are then more power to you because someone needs to be making sure this child has everything they need and want in life. you just keep being the consirned and caring step mom that you are and one of these days when this child is old enoug to see all you have done for him he will know who really loves him and who was in it for money and a social life.
sorry this really hits home for me because i am also a step mom and im in the same place as you.

 

[NYMOM]

Thanks mouse...that helps. I love my stepson as I love my own son. I don't see a difference between the two of them as far as what I would do for them or how I feel for them. It just gets really frustrating sometimes dealing with her especially knowing that legally there is nothing I can say or do. It breaks my heart to think that she can do the things she's doing because she gave birth to him....but fear not for I will hold on and keep caring for my stepson and helping him. I know your right about him seeing it when he gets older. I just needed to come on and vent because he is coming tomorrow and I din't want any of my aggrivationto come of on him or for him to sense it. Also I have him draw pictures for her when we are doing school time and it's really hard to do that when I am annoyed with her so I try to vent it all out long before he comes home.

 

[CMSC]

call me slow but is "tiredmommy" your husbands good for nothing ex? If so God bless you, get these kids full time and move on with your lives without her. Slam away people, but this tiredmommy is worthless!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Here, write to her directly at:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?threadid=99947

Or, call her and scream at each other on the phone, or meet her on the street and just "duke it out."

IAAL

 

[NYMOM]

What is that suppose to mean IAAL

I am not going to "duke it out" with her and yes that is her post. I and my husband have spoken to her on many occasions in a reasonable manner. They will even be going to mediation soon rather than court. I am not going to call her and scream at her, it would not accomplish anything. I also will not participate in a argument with her on this board. I posted a new message here because I needed to vent and I needed some opinions. I have received and read many responses that were very helpful to my posts and many other posts. That is why I have posted here. I am surprised to hear this response from you IAAL. I thought you were more mature than that and more of a professional. She has every right to post on this board as I do and I will not interfer with that.

This situation is not about her and I it is about the child. The times we have spoken we have gotten along just fine. She always has no problem when she speaks with me and then has a huge problem when she speaks to the therapists. Do you really think that your response would help this child...I don't.

Thanks ryry's mom.

 

[Chingolina]

NYMOM i sympathize with you i too am a step mom and i applaud all your efforts to help your step son. He is really lucky to have you as a stepmother. i know how hard it can be at times to deal with BM who are more interested in the money than the child. Good Luck and My prayers are with you.

Chingolina

 

[tiredmomny]

Go ahead support Miss goodie goodie and in a couple of years when she can't stand the sight of childen and resents them all because she had not life where will you all be. If she thinks she can be a better mother by not having any life what so ever she is sadly mistaken. There is more to life than taking care of kids.

 

[Query1234]

TiredMom

This is not a contest of who is the better mommy but what is best for the child. Just because you carried the child for 9 months doesn't just automatically give you any privileges. You need to take care of your child to deserve the love and respect from him. Soon he will be old enough to realize who the sincere and true loving people are. And the fact that NYMom CHOOSES to stay at home with her kid/stepkid is commendable and not something to look down upon. She chooses to be with the kids as much as she can and the kids will only benefit from that, both yours and hers. Would you rather have your child think he not worthy to be around because his mom would rather party than to be in his company? How sad.

 

[NYMOM]

I have stayed out of your post and I have not picked any arguments with you "tiredmomny". However, I will respond to your post. There is nothing more important in my "life" than my children (step and natural). I have a social life...for the most part I include the children in what I do for fun. Occasionally, I have a babysitter and go out. My life is very full thanks to a wonderful husband and two wonderful children. How you feel about your children is your business but don't ever presume to know how I feel about my children or what is important to me in my life. My children are my life and I can't imagine it without them. Maybe you don't feel that way...that's too bad since you already have two children. However, again that is your choice..then why keep your childs father from being with him. You are right you gave birth and no one can change that but you also have to appreciate the wonderful gift you received in a child and nourish that child with time and love.

To other posters I apologize for the argument on this board. I post here for advice not for a battle forum.

 

[Roscleo]

Go ahead support Miss goodie goodie and in a couple of years when she can't stand the sight of childen and resents them all because she had not life where will you all be. If she thinks she can be a better mother by not having any life what so ever she is sadly mistaken. There is more to life than taking care of kids.

I just cant believe you!! You have some nerve! I myself have two children and they are my life. There is nothing more to my life than supporting my husband and taking care of my two children and I am very happy and I love my life. I will never resent my children or my husband. I am sorry you are too selfish to realize what a precious gift children are.



To NYMOM I am sorry you have to deal with such a horrible person and from what I have read and seen you are a GREAT MOTHER!! I applaude you!!

 

[tj120596]

you know the first thing i want to say to you is congradualtions. i have read through your poast and tiredmomny's. i want to congradulate you for being such a decent person. you have here and i have no doubt in real life been nothing but nice and have not been low down or mean in any way to this woman. i admire the fact that you have conformed your life to your children, instead of conforming your childrens lives to yours. it takes a lot for a woman to take in anothers child when she has her own and in this situation, the cr@p that their mother brings. i think you should continue to love the step child and do as much for him as you can. if this comes out to the mediator there is nothing that she can defend herself with. and if for some reason you and your husband continue to have to pay her, then isn't it worth it to have this child in your life? there is going to be no harm done by continuing on with the tings that you are doing for him now. keep that in mind, and as he grows older he will see the difference in his mothers way of loving and th e ove that you and his father give him.

keep the faith, children ave a keen 6th sence of what is going on even if they don't understand it. but one thing a child can always understand is love. love penitrates all other things and a child will know that. so love him as much as you can and make a family for him that he is welcom to anytime. he will be able to make a decision as to where he wants to be someday and if you continue to do for him as you say you do now, he will choose you.

I knoiw this is not legal advice and dosen't help you in that way, but i hope it puts a little wind in your sail. sometimes we all just need to hear that we are doing the right thing, and you are.

good luck

 

[NYMOM]

Thanks everyone. To tj120596..thank you for your post and though it is not legal advise it does help alot to hear the support. Also as far as paying her the money goes..my husband has already discussed that issues and have decided if that's what it takes to get him here then we will just have to make it work.

Thanks again to everyone.

 

[powerpuffgirl]

My husband comes from a split family and guess what: He knows who was there for him growing up (and who was just using him as a pawn). Now that he is an adult and can CHOOSE, it's more than obvious who he spends time with.

hang in there!

BTW I think it is really sad that ANYONE would dignify tiredmomny's post with a response.

Another point of interest: Did 'tiredmomny' know she misspelled 'mommy' or was it a freudian slip? (tiredmoney)

 

[Esimon1]

This makes me wish that my step-kids' mom posted here!!!!
Oh- THE ENTERTAINMENT!