Am I Wrong?

[ecastanedo]

What does it make one?

Well reading a bunch of medical books doesn't make me a doctor now does it?

 

[stealth2]

This minor difference, is making a huge difference in our wallets.

This says all that needs saying. Tell Mommy to get a job.

 

[ecastanedo]

Great. I just figured out what kind of site I stumbled across. Next time I have a question, I will go seek council with an expert. It was amusing to say the least to rattle the monkey's cage!

Holy damn, what did I step on?

 

[Silverplum]

(snip)
And you make mention of my attitude? How about your friend, Miss Charming?

And I forgot to address that one:
Li'l Miss Charming, as *I* like to call her, is not the one who is "asking" for free advice. She is giving the free advice. Don't like it? Pay elsewhere. She hasn't said a thing legally wrong yet. And just wait till you're in court and don't like what the judge says.

And no, it is still not your business when your wife comes crying to you. Not your LEGAL business. Tell her to hire a lawyer. Of course, when it turns out that the support is correctly figured and she has spent $2K+ finding that out, she will come crying to you again.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

You know esc, I was going to waste my time in trying to get you to understand some of the finer points of the law, why you are not a party to anything that happens between the mother of the child and her ex and what the 'credit' means.

But you let your butt overload your mouth and frankly, you don't deserve any valid legal response. One, because you're a jackass and two, because you are not a party to anything here.

Yes, in this instance you are a 'second-class citizen'. Or better put, no-class because you simply don't count.

You have a problem with the $160 a month your WIFE is getting for HER child? Then get her fat ass off the couch and put her to work. You have a problem with the child's FATER getting time with HIS child? Then go have one of your own.

the plain fact is this is NOT a discussion forum. this is a LEGAL advice forum. And while you still could have gotten more enlightenment on your issue, I don't to idiots.

Soooooo, have a happ happ happy day. JERK!

 

[BL]

OK let's try one last time > Would you like to sit and have a drink over this ?

You have NO legal say so in the matter .

You have to understand something here . While YOU in you finite life feel the need to support your wife in her time of turmoil ( bravo !!!!!) , and while YOU might feel the X is a SSOAB , we in our infinite lives do not know that the X is as sorry as you make him out to be ,

So go to the liquor cabinet and poor yourself another one and say this 100 times over " I have NO legal say so in this Matter " " what an idiot I have made of myself " . because the children are being put through the most stupidest , idiot BS I've heard in a long time .

 

[ecastanedo]

Who is even denying that what you say is true? Not me! Great, you are right. I'm sure an expert would tell me the same. What I am saying is simply, you are the worst bunch of "experts" I have run across.

To make a long story short, if you are going to give the sort of advice which screams "you are stupid, and here's your answer"... well then keep your answer, as right as you may be.

I don't mind paying for the advice, but there is benefits to a community forum. What I am realizing though is there is a small niche. A little posse thing going on here that sounds like ****sm to me.

I applaud you for understanding the law, which is what I came for and got.... but damn, you all should get out more.

Miss Charming and some of you sound like you have been hurt in your childhood and are lashing out at everyone because the "world dun you wrong".

Get a life....

 

[ENASNI]

Jeesh

Its Mr. Charming...

Jeesh... that has been bugging... me

Okay... outta here.

 

[BL]

Miss Charming and some of you sound like you have been hurt in your childhood and are lashing out at everyone because the "world dun you wrong".

Get a life....

And what you still don't get is YOU and YOUR wife are putting the children in the Middle of the Parent's ( adults ) affairs , that are petty . Now man of the House , who is hurting who ?

 

[stealth2]

Oh, to answer your initial question succinctly. Yes, you are wrong.

 

[ecastanedo]

Who is more fool? The fool or the fool who follows the fool?

Human behavior is so predictable!

 

[VeronicaGia]

California

So both children live with us. They see their father every OTHER weekend (starting after school Friday and ending Monday morning when they get dropped off at school).

I am fine with that arrangement, but I am having trouble understanding something else regarding the judgment... and is there anything we can do about it if we feel we have a good case.

Basically, the judge awarded him credit from 6am to 2pm. Which I think is crazy, because they are in school. My wife does not work, so she is just as capable as him to have them during this time. As a matter of fact, we do have them with us from 6am until he comes by and insists on picking them up to drop them off at school, half a block away.

They never spend any weekdays or weeknights with him. They are with us always, unless it is his weekend, which again is every OTHER weekend.

So...

1) Why would he get credit for the time that they are in school? He works nights so can have them during the day, but so can my wife, because she does not work.

2) Is it me or does $160 a month seem like nothing in terms of child support?

It isn't really an issue of us paying for everything if we got credit for everything, but it seems kind of unfair that he gets the benefit of claiming that he has them during a time in which he does not and my wife is just as capable of having them. This minor difference, is making a huge difference in our wallets.

Basically, we feel like he is getting a free ride, because when it comes to his children, we are paying for EVERYTHING. I don't understand how someone who hardly sees his children should not be held to a higher responsibility for providing financially for them.

The argument that the judge made was that he pays for what he needs to when they are with him. If this is the case, then am I just naive in thinking that there is something wrong with not holding fathers (or mothers for that matter) accountable for having children and not providing for them?

As a step parent, you have no rights here. Take it from the many step parents here who know that. This is not about you, this is about your wife, her ex and their kids.

I don't understand exactly why you're so upset that he's paying support while she's not. She is not financially supporting her own kids. If he decided to be a stay at home parent, would that be ok with her? (or you for that matter?)

In CA, support is based on the net income of both parents and visitation/parenting time. CA uses a formula that you may be able to find online, called the Dissomaster.

Since the 6am to 2pm is part of his parenting time, he gets the credit for it. Maybe he could argue that your wife should not get credit for all the time the kids are in school, which would be 8 hours a day, 18 days a month (taking into account his every other weekend 16 hours of credit). Therefore she get's credit for having them during the time they are in school and she doesn't have them either. She gets credit for 144 hours a month when she doesn't actually have them, compared to his 16.

You say you think he's getting a free ride, but your wife is the one getting the free ride; you support her, you help support her kids, and he helps support the kids. She's not putting a dime into it. Yet she complains that he gets credit for a louse 16 hours a month while she gets credit for not even working at all. And he does pay for their needs when the kids are there, which is something your wife doesn't do.

If you look at this objectively, you'll see that I'm right. You'll also find out that if she goes for a support modification, he can insist, under CA law, that her income be imputed to what she could be making if she was working. Or, if he wants to get really upset, he can ask that your income be considered when the court figures support since she is voluntarily unemployed. This is rarely done, and don't think I mean that you will be paying him or anything, but you are supporting her, so you are her income. It can be done.

Look at this objectively.....

 

[BL]

Who is more fool? The fool or the fool who follows the fool?

Human behavior is so predictable!

You sure are predictable . Any Judge in a Court Of Law would see that , except , YOU YOU YOU have NO say so .
I feel sorry for these kids .

You make such an ass out of yourself .

 

[ecastanedo]

VeronicaGia:

Well, you are the first reasonable person who has given me a direct answer without letting yourself get in the way of your answer. Thank you for taking the time to explain this to me. I think you are mistaken though in that I am upset and this is causing me grief... it really isn't... or my wife.

I think to many people just jumped on the opportunity to make someone look like an ass on here. Problem is, you all didn't even know the first thing about me or where I was coming from. I never said I was angry, thinking this was my situation to deal with, putting the kids in the middle of all this, etc.... Too many damn assumptions going on here.

What I was plainly trying to understand is the significant gap between financial responsibilities of the two house-holds. Also, I guess I do not understand how when you have two parents who are both able to care for their children at the same time... well, how the law determines which parent should have credit for that time. Especially when the children are with one parent most of the time.

Anyway, I am not sure if my explaining myself properly. I have to say that this my first time on a forum where people make a million assumptions and start bashing you. I understand this is an advice forum, but how can you give advice without taking the time to completely understand where the person in need of help is coming from.

To address the concern of my wife getting a free ride. Well, I think that is unfair. You do not understand our situtation and our reasons for her being a stay at home mom. I think many stay at home mom's would find your comments insulting. I can see the relevance as it pertains to the legality of the matter, but that's where it should end.

Blonde Lebinese: Please, I have better things to do than to try and reason with a "Judge Judy" wannabee surrounded by a bunch of groupees. I came here searching for professional legal answers and you gave me a Jerry Springer answer. You've made so many assumptions about me, my wife and our situation. If you are in the legal industry, well I have yet to understand how you have made it, if you even have at all. When someone seeks consul, they want legal advice, not a series of trailer trash remarks that have no bearing in the conversation.

You say I make myself look like an ass. I came here for answer and you and your groupees attacked me with a barage of insults and accusations, without knowing the first darn thing about me. Go back and read your first response to me. I am not sure what type of people you normally deal with, but I came here and you were transparent to me. I think that must have pissed you off quite a bit.

Anyway, I've obtained the legal answers that I was searching for, thank you! The cretans can now return to their aimless monkey business....

 

[Sandwalk]

You sure are predictable . Any Judge in a Court Of Law would see that , except , YOU YOU YOU have NO say so .
I feel sorry for these kids .

You make such an ass out of yourself .

I would like to know why everyone is jumping down this mans throat over a simple queston!!! You all know nothing about what he goes through or what goes on in his life when it comes to dealing with the ex!! OK OK so he is getting a $160.00 dollars for CS.... BIG WHOOP!! All the man did was ask a simple question concerning both him AND his wife!! You know when you are married that everything that happens in your household effect both of you....just because we as stepparents don't have a "say so" in things legally it still affects both of us. Asking a simple question doesn't mean that the kids are suffering because of it. They get to see their dad and I am sure they are treated very well at home!!
I say that unless those that are on this forum are willing to give advice without trying to make eveyone that asks a question feel like an idiot....go find something better to do with your time like starting a forum for " people who know the law and those who think they do"!! Lighten up.....there has got to be a forum for you all to vent your frustrations somewhere...just don't do it here!!