Angry X playing games

[Smarty Panties]

OK it sounds like she just wants it paid in a way that's most convenient for her and you just want proof that it's been paid. I can understand that. I think the best way to do that is with the wage garnishment. Try calling your child support enforcement office and see if they can set it up.

 

[stealth2]

Dude - you have an order to pay her $X every month by Y date, correct? SO set up an online transfer to occur on the proper date for the correct amount and have it called "Child Support Payment to B*tch Ex". This is not complicated. She gets the money you're to pay, you have a record of it being paid. As long as you have a record of date and amount, you're fine.

Again - you are both playing games. Just stop.

 

[4bidN2father]

Ty for that info....however my bank does not offer online banking. Its a small credit union...otherwise I would use that as a viable option if it could provide me the necessary proof.

 

[stepmom65]

Ty for that info....however my bank does not offer online banking. Its a small credit union...otherwise I would use that as a viable option if it could provide me the necessary proof.

Do the certified mail with delivery proof option, if you don't like the garnishment process.... find a new bank that has online banking and that you can print out the needed information...You are going to have to do something beside whining to us.....

If you went the garnishment way, you wouldn't have to deal with her about this issue period. No need to track anything. The child support agency will send you monthly statements, California does. If you really want to not talk to her, look at her or lick her ass...do what you can to eliminate her ability to "get to you"... Your kids are at stake and when you argue and fight, they know about it, whether their witness to it or not.

My husband is so much happier that his pay is being garnished...we laugh about it every month....!!!!

 

[djohnson]

I apologize you are getting blasted. I understand your point of view as even having the deposit receipts doesn't mean she isn't going to claim that was for repayment of a loan or for something else. She can also say that money was from her mother to help her out since you wasn't and you knew it and made your account just look like that if you were depositing cash. I agree as long as she has it by the due date then it shouldn't matter, do it however you want, send pennies for all I care. But if a paper trail is all you wanted why not deposit the same check into her account a few days early so any hold would be released by that date? The commone sense answer is why you are being blasted for just wanting to cause a problem.

 

[stealth2]

Or, if you're directly depositing a check to her account, write on the check CHILD SUPPORT. Or does your credit union also not provide you with either copies of checks or the original check back?

 

[4bidN2father]

Sometimes u just cant win

I see that Im only going to get smartassed retorts to my question. My X wants me to make things convenient for her and I was doing what I thought I needed to do to prove that Im paying support. My intention wasnt to get at her as some seem to want to point out. I will admit that it does please me just a lil knowing it does piss her off. As for doing anything wrong, Im not. The end result is the same. The money is sent to her. Shes making an issue b/c Im not being her lil b*tch anymore. I only wanted to know legally if there is a reason why I shouldnt be allowed to mail a check instead of depositing it in her acct for her. She gets it on time, ahead of time, sooner than she would have if I deposited it. Its not my responsibility to make sure it gets put in her acct before she bounces checks. Its not my job to kiss her ass so she doesnt cause more problems. Shes responsible for her own behavior and what sets her off. Members on this very same board told me before that I was allowing her to walk all over me and that I should stand up to her....and now those same ppl are accusing me of trying to cause stress.

 

[djohnson]

There is no reason you can't mail it. If it's not stipulated then it's up to you. Your original question was because of 'proof' and that is why you got blasted. Getting that was too easy. You misled and wasn't getting the answer to your real question. You can mail it all you want, but advice would be to mail it CRRR so you have proof it is mailed. If not, and it gets lost, you are in trouble.

 

[stealth2]

Let's step back a minute - what does your order actually say about how you are to pay (not your interpretation - word for word)?

 

[4bidN2father]

Daycare payable directly to the other parent. This payment shall be made in conjunction with his child support payment each month, $X from his 3rd week check and $X from his 4th wk check every month paid directly to the mother.

 

[USMOM]

Sorry

It was not my intention to blast you. I have experience with dealing with someone who plays the same games your ex does. I have only been able to deal with it by looking at the problems he causes as hassles life brings. His bullying has cost me money, time, embarassment and hassle. In my first posting I suggested electronic deposits. Another person suggested that as well. Is what she is doing totally absurd? Yes, but can counteract her negative energy by keeping good records and refusing to get in the battle. She wins when she gets you upset. I think you are a good dad and you deserve to be able to focus energy to your children. Look at her as one of those people who gets into the express lane at the grocery store with a cartlod of groceries. It is annoying, but not worth the stress to get all that mad about it. Good luck and please don't feel criticized by me.

 

[stealth2]

Daycare payable directly to the other parent. This payment shall be made in conjunction with his child support payment each month, $X from his 3rd week check and $X from his 4th wk check every month paid directly to the mother.

And how are you documenting that you're mailing the checks? 'Cause at this point, you've got a he said/she said situation - you have photocopies of checks and (I assume) addressed/stamped envelopes and say you sent them; she says she didn't receive them. A judge may know one of you is lying - but which one? Is she getting the mail and pretending she didn't? Or are you only saying you mailed the checks, but in fact haven't? See the quandary?

At this point, I have to agree that your best bet may be to simply go through a wage withholding. Then neither of you have to make any extra effort once it's set up.

 

[haiku]

My husband currently has an account specifically for child suport, (his ex will sit on checks for months before cashing-she has NO bank accounts we know of) It is used for nothing else.

If the OP did this in his case, were the ex to claim non-payment-it would be easy with refused certified receipts and a bank balance showing the "unpaid" support amount, that the child support has actually "been paid".

Personally though, in todays age, I would be finding a bank that DID have online bill pay, because it will be the EASIEST solution to this problem. When dealing with a difficult person sometimes you just HAVE to bend for your own sanity and well being.

 

[green53]

to be honst i dont think so.. the same thing happned to me for the last 4 years and now she is getting me on the rear.. so you need to get a lawyer before she hits the state lawyer.. please do so quickly

 

[Whyte Noise]

Legally, there's nothing wrong with giving her a check. The problem comes in when she doesn't cash them. If she doesn't cash them, then you have no proof you paid then either. You're back to square one!

Instead of depositing cash into her account... write a check and put THAT in there. Put on the memo line "Child support for (month)" and put that puppy right on in her account just like you do the cash. There will be your cancelled check you can get a copy of. You'll have your "proof" you want (a check) and she'll have her money in the bank on the same day she's used to it being there.

You're cutting off your nose to spite your face here and really making this harder than it needs to be.

But, if you're mailing her checks and she's just trashing them, guess what? She's going to say you haven't paid, and what are you going to have as proof you did? Certainly not a cancelled check since she never cashed it and is playing games.

Don't mail a check to her. Put one made out to her directly into her account. It's the same thing you've been doing, only you are depositing a check instead of cash and you WILL have a paper trail this way. And the best part? She can't "refuse" it, throw it away, or just hang on to it to "get you" and say you're in arrears and haven't been paying because she will never have it in her own hands!

As an aside, I've been banking since I was 16 years old. Over 20 years. I have never seen a deposit slip from a bank or credit union that didn't have the amount of the deposit on it. Even an ATM machine receipt gives you the deposit amount and the ending balance.

Edit to add: If you're going to ask how you can deposit it into her account without her signing it....

On the back of the check where the signature line is, print in BIG BOLD LETTERS:

FOR DEPOSIT ONLY