Attempt to circumvent a court order

[cmvalentino]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?New York
In May I was in court for a vacation visitation suit for my daughter whom I have custody. Her mother fought for visitation during the time she should be preparing to return to school. We had our time in family court which assisted in coming to a mutual agreement that my child will be with them from Sat Aug 11th returning to me on Fri Aug 31st. This was agreed on both sides to be fair. They have now contacted me stating that they can not abide by the order and return her to me on te date specified but 2 to 3 days later, but I can give them the "OK" if I choose to. I clearly stated to them that I will not stop them from taking her on vacation but as stated in the court order she must return to me on the date specified. They are continuing to try and get around the order by stating their circumstnces have changed and want me to take the blame if they have to tell my child she has to be home early and they will go without her. I gave them my answer and now tell me that any further communication needs to go through thir attorney who happens to be my daughters aunt.
My Question is, since I gave them my answer already, should I wait to hear from them again or do I have to contact the attorney. I truely believe that they are looking to make a mockery of the court system because they never had the itention of returning my child to me on the date agreed and they were just waiting till it is close to the time to turn this into a problem now.

 

[Antigone*]

Four posts and not one of them shows up. hmmm how interesting.

 

[Just Blue]

Four posts and not one of them shows up. hmmm how interesting.

You need to look at the thread as opposed to the posts.

https://forum.freeadvice.com/divorce-separation-annulment-36/can-stipulation-settlement-revisited-487200.html

 

[cmvalentino]

I guess that the old ones eventually fall off. I haven't had the need to ask for advice in quite some time.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?New York
In May I was in court for a vacation visitation suit for my daughter whom I have custody. Her mother fought for visitation during the time she should be preparing to return to school. We had our time in family court which assisted in coming to a mutual agreement that my child will be with them from Sat Aug 11th returning to me on Fri Aug 31st. This was agreed on both sides to be fair. They have now contacted me stating that they can not abide by the order and return her to me on te date specified but 2 to 3 days later, but I can give them the "OK" if I choose to. I clearly stated to them that I will not stop them from taking her on vacation but as stated in the court order she must return to me on the date specified. They are continuing to try and get around the order by stating their circumstnces have changed and want me to take the blame if they have to tell my child she has to be home early and they will go without her. I gave them my answer and now tell me that any further communication needs to go through thir attorney who happens to be my daughters aunt.
My Question is, since I gave them my answer already, should I wait to hear from them again or do I have to contact the attorney. I truely believe that they are looking to make a mockery of the court system because they never had the itention of returning my child to me on the date agreed and they were just waiting till it is close to the time to turn this into a problem now.

August 11 is a Saturday, August 31st is a Friday, and the Friday of Labor Day weekend, so obviously the dispute is that they want to keep the child through Labor Day weekend, apparently due to a planned vacation. Also apparently even though you had court in may you couldn't carve out any summer time for mom until the very end of summer.

Do your visitation orders include a division of holidays? Whose Holiday is Labor Day weekend this year?

Basically, if Labor Day weekend is mom's holiday, then you have no where to go on this. If Labor Day weekend is your holiday then you can insist on the child being returned on Friday, and if mom doesn't do so, you can take mom to court for contempt. However, you also need to do a cost benefit analysis on this. They probably cannot take her on the vacation at all if they have to return her on Friday, so you may be cutting mom's time with the child short by a week, and be disappointing the child, if you insist on her being returned before the end of their vacation.

 

[BL]

This child is not just " MY " child.

Reality is ,what is an extra 2-3 days of vacation " for the child " ?

Put the child first,and the animosity on a shelf.

 

[cmvalentino]

August 11 is a Saturday, August 31st is a Friday, and the Friday of Labor Day weekend, so obviously the dispute is that they want to keep the child through Labor Day weekend, apparently due to a planned vacation. Also apparently even though you had court in may you couldn't carve out any summer time for mom until the very end of summer.

Do your visitation orders include a division of holidays? Whose Holiday is Labor Day weekend this year?

Basically, if Labor Day weekend is mom's holiday, then you have no where to go on this. If Labor Day weekend is your holiday then you can insist on the child being returned on Friday, and if mom doesn't do so, you can take mom to court for contempt. However, you also need to do a cost benefit analysis on this. They probably cannot take her on the vacation at all if they have to return her on Friday, so you may be cutting mom's time with the child short by a week, and be disappointing the child, if you insist on her being returned before the end of their vacation.

Labor day is not a specified holiday. The whole thing is that we agreed on specific dates so they had their time and my child had sufficient time to prepare for school. The courts were in full agreement of this as well. They now want to try and execute their original plans and want me to agree to something that I never agreed to in the first place.

 

[cmvalentino]

This child is not just " MY " child.

Reality is ,what is an extra 2-3 days of vacation " for the child " ?

Put the child first,and the animosity on a shelf.

One can only give but so much. Not going to give in every time they are not happy with a decision.

 

[Ohiogal]

One can only give but so much. Not going to give in every time they are not happy with a decision.

So the child loses because you just got to win. LOVELY.

 

[tuffbrk]

This child is not just " MY " child.

Reality is ,what is an extra 2-3 days of vacation " for the child " ?

Put the child first,and the animosity on a shelf.

Typically, I would agree with this statement. However, the parties went to court for a decision to be made about this very subject so it does seem as if the non-custodial parent is still trying to get their own way in spite of the court orders. From my perspective, if the kid misses out on vacation, that's on the non-custodial parent. They were unhappy with the court order yet didn't file an argument against it. They have had plenty of time to arrange their vacation around their child's court ordered visitation schedule, chose not to do so and are now trying to manipulate the custodial parent by saying how badly the child will feel if they can't go on vacation. That's just wrong.

Then again, I'm sensitive to emotional blackmail and manipulation as I lived it for years.

 

[BL]

Typically, I would agree with this statement. However, the parties went to court for a decision to be made about this very subject so it does seem as if the non-custodial parent is still trying to get their own way in spite of the court orders. From my perspective, if the kid misses out on vacation, that's on the non-custodial parent. They were unhappy with the court order yet didn't file an argument against it. They have had plenty of time to arrange their vacation around their child's court ordered visitation schedule, chose not to do so and are now trying to manipulate the custodial parent by saying how badly the child will feel if they can't go on vacation. That's just wrong.

Then again, I'm sensitive to emotional blackmail and manipulation as I lived it for years.

Well Well well as my older relatives would say when I was a tot.

Is it going to hurt?

Your own issues aside ( and I have personally went through the ringer and the ringer with my long time GF' matters ) , the " MY " says something about the poster .

Have a nice day !!

As a side note : Lately it seems like this a social site. It is NOT .It's a legal site. As an agreed upon issue ,probably not even yet into record . 2-3 days extra arguments are non-sence .

I'm talking about the child ,not adults that have anomosities.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I am going to disagree for the reason that if they HAD to go to court to get this done, then there is a problem with communication already. I too have an X that if you were nice and gave an inch then, HE would take a mile the next time.

You cannot be found in contempt if you follow a court order.

 

[BL]

I am going to disagree for the reason that if they HAD to go to court to get this done, then there is a problem with communication already. I too have an X that if you were nice and gave an inch then, HE would take a mile the next time.

You cannot be found in contempt if you follow a court order.

No whinning allowed .

Gee... Yes yes yes they are tot. beehomes . My X half. ( What's that girls's face on lynall ) ? WHyyyy.

Get over it.

Have a couple whiines.( but then your mind would start working ).

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Would much rather have wine than whine.

 

[BL]

Would much rather have wine than whine.

Again , IN A BIG STANCE !! ,

Is this reaslly something a Judge would likely to have a big issue over,or tell the "parties" they are wasting the court's time ?

Every lil nitpic?