Attempt to circumvent a court order

[cmvalentino]

I am going to disagree for the reason that if they HAD to go to court to get this done, then there is a problem with communication already. I too have an X that if you were nice and gave an inch then, HE would take a mile the next time.

You cannot be found in contempt if you follow a court order.

You have got it right! They will be sweet as pie if all is going their way, but the second that is doesn't the gloves are off and they are looking for every way possible to minipulate the system. And having the sister in law as the attorney, they think they are on higher ground. Another thing they are trying to do is to get me to say that I will Not allow my child to go with them and stay past the ordered date so that they can use it to take the blame off them and on me.

 

[BL]

You have got it right! They will be sweet as pie if all is going their way, but the second that is doesn't the gloves are off and they are looking for every way possible to minipulate the system. And having the sister in law as the attorney, they think they are on higher ground. Another thing they are trying to do is to get me to say that I will Not allow my child to go with them and stay past the ordered date so that they can use it to take the blame off them and on me.

gessse why . Yfas. ****/

i CANT GET IT STRAIGHT

 

[LdiJ]

I am going to disagree for the reason that if they HAD to go to court to get this done, then there is a problem with communication already. I too have an X that if you were nice and gave an inch then, HE would take a mile the next time.

You cannot be found in contempt if you follow a court order.

It is absolutely true that you cannot be found in contempt if you follow a court order. However, sometimes, not being a little bit flexible does more harm to the child than good. I think that parents need to really think it through and decide what is more important...based on their overall situation.

Sometimes (as in your case) its absolutely critical to stick to the court orders with utmost rigidity. In others, being a little flexible now and again is better for the child and leads to a better co-parenting relationship.

 

[MrJenkins]

It is absolutely true that you cannot be found in contempt if you follow a court order. However, sometimes, not being a little bit flexible does more harm to the child than good. I think that parents need to really think it through and decide what is more important...based on their overall situation.

Sometimes (as in your case) its absolutely critical to stick to the court orders with utmost rigidity. In others, being a little flexible now and again is better for the child and leads to a better co-parenting relationship.

"Hi, this time I will allow the few extra days outside of our court order so to accommodate the situation. Court orders are for a reason and we need to stick by them. Going forward, please plan your trips and events around the court order so we can stick to them. Have a good vacation and do anything you can to help prepare her for school"

eazy peazy

 

[AlmostThere]

Why not offer to exchange days? If the NCP wants to extend the visit 3 days beyond the court ordered date, why not offer those days in exchange for starting visitation 3 days later? ie,

"Hello NCP,

In order to accommodate your vacation plans that extend three days beyond your court ordered visitation dates, I suggest we shift you entire visitation three days, with it starting and ending three days later.

Sincerely,
CP.

 

[CJane]

This >>>> "Make a mockery of the court order" sort of sets a melodramatic tone.

It's HIGHLY unlikely that Mom would be held in contempt for informing you *before she even picks up the child* that the return date of 8/31 is an issue, and you flat out refusing to try and come to a mutual agreement. In court, Mom potentially comes off as the very reasonable party, and you come off as rigid and unyielding.

I tell you this only for perspective.

 

[cmvalentino]

This >>>> "Make a mockery of the court order" sort of sets a melodramatic tone.

It's HIGHLY unlikely that Mom would be held in contempt for informing you *before she even picks up the child* that the return date of 8/31 is an issue, and you flat out refusing to try and come to a mutual agreement. In court, Mom potentially comes off as the very reasonable party, and you come off as rigid and unyielding.

I tell you this only for perspective.

What everyone fails to realize is that they wanted to have the extended vacation from the beginning which was the issue that brought us to court. Now after all is said and done in court, they are attempting to go around the court order with their stories of things changing now, when in fact they have never accepted the fact that we came to an agreement in court. They Want what They Want regardless of signing an agreement. I fought hard for my position as did they and we mutually agreed on a date which the court also agrred was fair for both parties.

 

[CJane]

What everyone fails to realize is that they wanted to have the extended vacation from the beginning which was the issue that brought us to court. Now after all is said and done in court, they are attempting to go around the court order with their stories of things changing now, when in fact they have never accepted the fact that we came to an agreement in court. They Want what They Want regardless of signing an agreement. I fought hard for my position as did they and we mutually agreed on a date which the court also agrred was fair for both parties.

And... that's not really relevant.

Has Mom been held in contempt before?
If Mom keeps kiddo an extra 3 days, is there going to be material damage to kiddo's health or well-being? Or to your relationship with the child?

Contempt isn't just one party not following the order. It's more than that. And I'm concerned that going into court for a 3 day lapse in the return of the child - on a holiday weekend - is going to make you look like you're stomping your feet and being petulant.

 

[Ohiogal]

gessse why . Yfas. ****/

i CANT GET IT STRAIGHT

I want some of what you have. No, really. I do.

 

[MrJenkins]

What everyone fails to realize is that they wanted to have the extended vacation from the beginning which was the issue that brought us to court. Now after all is said and done in court, they are attempting to go around the court order with their stories of things changing now, when in fact they have never accepted the fact that we came to an agreement in court. They Want what They Want regardless of signing an agreement. I fought hard for my position as did they and we mutually agreed on a date which the court also agrred was fair for both parties.

why did you "fight so hard" for these 3 days. If you knew this from the beginning, it sounds like they had everything planned and you're just a control freak.

 

[CourtClerk]

Can I ask what is going on for these 3 extra days that the child just HAS to be home by that date? When does school start? How old is the child? What preparations are you talking about when it comes to getting them ready for school?

 

[nextwife]

Maybe I missed it in all these posts, but WHEN does school start for your kids? Is it on September 4th, as in my kid's school? Do they need to attend any registrations or orientations BEFORE school starts? Freshman orientation in our district is on the 31st, for example.

Personally, I agree that ex is being ridiculous for not simply planning to do their vacation during whatever window it needed to be done. Is there a family wedding or something going on they needed to be at outside that window?