BIG situation.....please help!!

[tdhtxs]

I filed for a divorce with my wife about 4 months ago. We agreed on everything as far as the vehicles, child support (20%), and visitation rights for me to see my daughter. My wife was having health problems, so I decided to be nice and keep her on the insurance (not finalize the divorce) until Jan. 2001. This is when her 90 days would expire at her job and she would then have benefits. Well, about a month (if that) after we filed for the divorce, she met and moved in with this guy. I really didn't care about that, until the other day. ......She calls me telling me that we need to finalize the divorce ASAP because she is pregnant (2 months) with his child and needs to get married to him ASAP.

So, what can I do about this? Between college and work, there is NO way I can take custody of my daughter right now.

Thanks,

Jonathan

BTW<>I'm in Georgia

 

[MySonsMom]

What do you mean there is no way you can take custody of the child now? From your post, you don't have custody. What are you talking about?

 

[tdhtxs]

What I mean is between working full-time and going to school full-time, there is no way I can take custody of my child.

I have another Q: If a child is adopted (everyone agrees) by a step-parent, is the biological parnet still required to pay child support?

Thanks

 

[MySonsMom]

What I mean is between working full-time and going to school full-time, there is no way I can take custody of my child.

I have another Q: If a child is adopted (everyone agrees) by a step-parent, is the biological parnet still required to pay child support?

Thanks

I'm still confused. Taking custody means having the child living with you. Are you meaning excercising your visitation? In that case, you are not obligated to excercise your visitation rights. If you choose not to, that is your choice. However, you are still obligated to financially support the child regardless of visitation. If you explain a bit more it would be helpful.

To your other question regarding child support. If the child is adopted then you are no longer responsible for child support. (except if you are in arrearages) In that case, you would have to still pay back what you owe, but all future child support is done.

 

[tdhtxs]

What I am saying is that between school and work, there is no way I would have time to take care of my child......take custody. The mother of my child is a VERY good mother and it shows with how my daughter speaks of her. This is another reason I really would not wnat to take custody of my little girl. With me moving out of state next year, I think taking custody of my child would not only hurt my wife, but my daughter as well.

I have been told that I can sue this guy for getting my wife pregnant and get out of child support all together. Is this true? I am not trying to get out of child supp., but it pisses me off when I know some of the $$ is not spent on my child. I would much rather hand over $320 in food, clothes, or be put up for her......rather than a $320 check straight to my wife. I say she is a good mother, BUT I know some of the $$ is spent elsewhere.

Me and the wife had the agreement (child supp., who gets what) written up several months ago. I already paid the lawyer his $150 for the uncontested divorce. Well, he is just telling me to get it over ASAP and get on. What about sueing the guy, taking custody, getting her in trouble?!?!? ......he was in a rush when I asked him, BUT still acted like he was not interested anymore. Probably because all the fees have been paid.

So, what are my options now? I have even thought about letting the soon to be father of my wife's baby adopt my daughter....as my daughter loves him so much. She even called me by his name the other day. I felt so good after that!!

 

[MySonsMom]

What I am saying is that between school and work, there is no way I would have time to take care of my child......take custody. The mother of my child is a VERY good mother and it shows with how my daughter speaks of her. This is another reason I really would not wnat to take custody of my little girl. With me moving out of state next year, I think taking custody of my child would not only hurt my wife, but my daughter as well.

I have been told that I can sue this guy for getting my wife pregnant and get out of child support all together. Is this true? I am not trying to get out of child supp., but it pisses me off when I know some of the $$ is not spent on my child. I would much rather hand over $320 in food, clothes, or be put up for her......rather than a $320 check straight to my wife. I say she is a good mother, BUT I know some of the $$ is spent elsewhere.

Me and the wife had the agreement (child supp., who gets what) written up several months ago. I already paid the lawyer his $150 for the uncontested divorce. Well, he is just telling me to get it over ASAP and get on. What about sueing the guy, taking custody, getting her in trouble?!?!? ......he was in a rush when I asked him, BUT still acted like he was not interested anymore. Probably because all the fees have been paid.

So, what are my options now? I have even thought about letting the soon to be father of my wife's baby adopt my daughter....as my daughter loves him so much. She even called me by his name the other day. I felt so good after that!!

Your situation is quite confusing. If you do not want to take the child on your visitation times, then don't. That is your choice.

As far as child support, this money is to support the every day needs of raising a child. This includes but is not limited to clothes, a home, food, toys, electricity, heat, water, a vehicle etc..So as you see, this money does not ALL go to just the child. It helps with PROVIDING for the child. So if they Mother wants to spend the whole child support check on an electric bill, that is her choice. Then when the child needs food, water, toys, clothes or whatever; she pays for that out of her money. So you see, you are a bit confused on what child support is intended for. It simply is for the every day care for raising a child.

Now, sueing this boyfriend and getting out of child support. Nonsense, will never happen.

You say that your wife is a good Mother...So leave it at that. Get a divorce, see your child when you choose to excercise your visitation, and pay your child support. If after your X gets married, you choose to relinguish your rights and let the stepFather adopt then do that. Then you will no longer be financially responsible for the child..EVER.

Good luck!

 

[swthoss]

It is not up to you if your ex-wife's new husband wants to adopt. That is a dissision that they have to make. Why should they want to? If he adopts they will lose child support money. As it is now he is raising your child and getting child support. Why would they decide to raise the child, and give up child support??

Until then you will have to pay support. You could ask your wife if she would consider that, but if he adopts your child, you will lose all rights to ever see that child again.

Can you honestly say you never want to see your child again???? If I were you I would have to think long and hard about that, I personally could not give up my child.