Can anyone tell me...

[slylyd]

What is the name of your state?OH

This is for a co worker who is sitting in my office now.

My friend got a request for visitation from her daughters father who has never seen her. Her daughter is 10. Yes, she does know that he has rights and has paid child support on and off. But she is going to challenge this as best she can.

Her questions is by a ball park, how much have some of you spent in attorney, court, etc. fees for a situation similar to this? She's heard that a round about figure was anywhere between 15-20K.

I know its a personal question, but if anyone could answer she would appreciate it. thanks

 

[VeronicaGia]

What is the name of your state?OH

This is for a co worker who is sitting in my office now.

My friend got a request for visitation from her daughters father who has never seen her. Her daughter is 10. Yes, she does know that he has rights and has paid child support on and off. But she is going to challenge this as best she can.

Her questions is by a ball park, how much have some of you spent in attorney, court, etc. fees for a situation similar to this? She's heard that a round about figure was anywhere between 15-20K.

I know its a personal question, but if anyone could answer she would appreciate it. thanks

She wouldn't have to pay nearly as much if she did the right thing and didn't fight it.

She could come to an agreement on supervisitations for a few hours at a time for a while, and gradually increasing them and removing the supervised part. The fact is, this is the childs father and she will lose this one in court eventually.

Tell her to save her money and come to an agreement. The child has the right to know her father.

 

[stealth2]

That's a pretty good ballpark figure if it goes to trial. Since it is pretty likely that he WILL get some type of visitation, she may want to consider mediation so that at least it's stepped up instead of just sending the kid off for a weekend right off the bat.

 

[slylyd]

Thanks for the reply Stealth.

Sorry one more question. Would the father have to pay an equal amount? Or is his end cheaper?

 

[stealth2]

He would have to pay whatever his attorney charges. It may be more, it may be less. Or he may ask for (and be awarded) Mom to pay his legal fees if it goes to trial. Or he may represent himself.

 

[familylawcrisis]

similar situation

Hello,

I am currently going through a similar situation and my guardian ad litem required a $1500 retainer, and so far I have aquired $2300 in lawyer fees. I still have a status conference and a final hearing left. Prepare yourself emotionally it is hard. My son hadn't seen his biological father since he was about 2 years old, he's now 8 and didn't remember him at all. Though I have tried to encourage a relationship he does not want one at all. He wants my husband to adopt him. His biological father is a habitual marijuana smoker, and a bad influence all around, and he still has been granted phone contact and supervised visits, to become unsupervised visits possibly as soon as the summer. Hang in there, and feel free to e-mail me, I would love to have someone to talk to who understands.

 

[slylyd]

OK thanks Stealth, I will pass this on to her.

On another note. Everyone gives their opinions here, so I'm going to give mine as well. I know that every situation is different HOWEVER sometimes it is not in the best interest for the child to know/meet the other parent be it mom or dad. In my situation my child's father has never seen him either. He said about one year ago to his mother who my son does see that he would come over to his mothers house whether my son was there or not. He wanted a casual relationship with him. Meaning if they were in the same room, they were in the same room. If not, then not. He wasn't going to come pick him up for visits or go to school events, buy Christmas, birthday presents, but be just a figure that my son knew. He said this to his mother who told me and I told her to tell him to call me...he never did. In his mind, it was just to make himself feel better, not doing it for my child. So that being said I would do my best to stop visitation too. With the backing of my child's therapist. He is in total agreement that that would not be in the best interest of my child. I understand that in my situation its obvious. But in talking to my child's doctor I brought up the point that when the other parent comes in later in the child's life, even to be a full time, it CAN cause more harm then good. He agreed. He is with the court system and has seen it all. If children are adjusted and the parent has been (age approiate) honest with them. The other parent in my opinion needs to extend the same courtesy to the child that they extended to themselves and let the child come to them when they see fit. Espically when it has been many years. Granted the custiodial parent must be mature about this as well, and I do know that in some cases it IS A BLESSING for the other parent to come in the a child life regardless of how long they have been absent. But sometimes its not. Just my opinion. I'm sure I'll hear a lot about it, but I'm entitled as well as everyone else. I'm not trying to be confrontational really. I know it depends on all parties involved, bio parents and children and even step-parents on both sides, (even though they are not legally involved) to be mature and look at the child's needs, but SOMETIMES, it's to let it be for the time being.

 

[slylyd]

Stealth..my friend has this question for you.

I know that you don't know for sure, but is it a common pratice that a judge would make her pay for his legal fees if it goes to trial? We know he can, but is it really all that common?

Thanks.

 

[stealth2]

It's impossible to say. I've had portions of my legal fees ordered to be paid by my ex - once when he dragged me to court over a schedule that HE had insisted on drafting through attorneys and then changed unilaterally and a second time when he dragged a CS modification out for nearly 2 years.

A lot will depend on whether the judge feels going to trial was a reasonable thing to do, or whether it was done simply out of spite, etc.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state?OH

This is for a co worker who is sitting in my office now.

My friend got a request for visitation from her daughters father who has never seen her. Her daughter is 10. Yes, she does know that he has rights and has paid child support on and off. But she is going to challenge this as best she can.

Her questions is by a ball park, how much have some of you spent in attorney, court, etc. fees for a situation similar to this? She's heard that a round about figure was anywhere between 15-20K.

I know its a personal question, but if anyone could answer she would appreciate it. thanks

It can also be a good thing. My daughter's father came into her life at just a few years earlier than this. It was nerve-wracking...but we did counseling and little visits and then more frequent visits, then weekends & holidays. Whatever prompted him to be in her life again- it worked out being a good thing. Not only did he have to prove himself to our daughter, he had to answer some tough questions. Looking back, it was definately the right thing to do. Just another opinion for you.

 

[slylyd]

Casa thank you. I will pass this to my friend, and use it for my own knowledge as well. I'm very happy it worked out for your daughter and you and her father. I do know that sometimes that is what is best for some situations. Weren't you furious when he came calling? I know I would be. Just because of what he did to my son, and not me. (I know a lot of people think mothers are upset because they were left) Did he do the counseling with YOU and your daughter, or did you mean for just your daughter? How long (weeks, months) did it take for him to have unsupervised visits with her? If these are too personal, I apologize, I'm just curious. I'm not in this boat, and hope I never am. I know my son and his bio dad will know eachother later, and myself and my husband expect and except that.