Can Child Support Guildlines Be Changed?

[SM5NY]

I'm a Cubbies fan myself.
I apologize to SM5NY and MOST of the others I may have offended. This did get way to personal for many. Only you and your husband know what happened when you went to court that day and received the judges ruling. If you honestly can't justify in any way why the judge ruled the way he did, that is unfortunate and I am sorry for you. MY OPINION is it won't change things if you go back about this in front of the same judge. If his ruling was totally unfair, maybe you can somehow ask that it be heard by a special or different judge.
I hope everything works out for the best, especially what is best for the child. Money can't buy Love. According to your ealier posts, you love and provide for this child as if it were your own and in the long run that will bring you more joy than any amount of support.

Thank you we will hopefully get another judge and will being taking this back. And you are right, the amount of love we give each other has more value then and $$ amount. Good lesson for all to read!
We will see how this all works out and hope that the child will not be left in the shadows by her sibling and step-father.

 

[VeronicaGia]

I've had my reality check when I married a man with a child. I have taken on the roll and supported the child physically and emotionally. I'm the one who huges and kisses her, feeds her meals, baths her, gets her ready for school, reads to her at bed, tucks her in at night, me and her father. (not looking for a pat on the back either). That is my responsibility as a step-mother and a women who married a man with a child. I buy the child things she needs in her daily life and them some like all parents. But do not have my hand out for a reimbursement on this stuff. I just do it out of love, concern, and responsibility for the child. (mmm I can do all this because of marriage, but I don't have any legal say so).... CAUSE I'm not the unresponsible BIO Mom.
Ya that makes since.
BUT, I ask you, why should a bio mom get to scream I'm her mother, I'm her mother, but except absolutely no responsibility for her child. I once got told by the bio mom that and I quote "I squeezed her from between my legs". Will I'm sorry, but it takes more then that to be a mom. Not just have another child and play replace a kid, and forget about your first one.

As everyone knows it take love, time,and (yes) money to raise a child. This women needs to own up to her responsibilities. A man would never get that type of relief from a court "cause he has bills and another family and his wife doesn't work. Will I'm sorry, but everyone has bills and make the lazy husband get a job and support his own kid. Why should our child have to suffer cause she has a new family. (Gee, first kid first) don't have another if you can't afford the first.
So it's not all about the money, it's about what is right and the state set guildlines that have not been served.

Oh and I think I have every right to stick my big fat nose into the situation I MARRIED AND TAKE CARE OF! REMEMBER I EXCEPTED THE RESPONSIBILITY WHEN I SAID I DO. SO I think it is my business.

*and thank you Veronica*

You're welcome. Though I believe that you shouldn't "interfere" with the situation as a step parent, there are many people here who are step parents who are just doing the legwork. There is nothing wrong with that, especially if the parent is unable to do the legwork or for some other reason cannot.

And believe me, you don't want to get stuck in the middle of it and learn the hard way. Come here, ask, read, learn, tell him what you know, love the child and stay out of the rest. The blatant discrimination going on in family courts is an injustice, but it sounds like the child is much better off with you and dad, so at least part of the system worked.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Anywhy, Everybody knows a man would not get away with it. Even though I'm a women and you would think spightful, I just think it should be the same casue after all 17% is the state guildline. As I recall a judge can make other judgements with substantial findings, but there were not any, just an electronic testimony of this women crying over her bill and other kid. She even made a statement to the judge saying "I don't think I should pay for a kid I don't see".... ( remember the NCP.. doesn't call, no b-day gifts, christamas gift, card or letters in general)

Holy COW! Can anyone imagine a man saying "I don't think I should pay for a kid I don't see, your honor! Plus, I have BILLS TO PAY!"

Sounds like the judge is an idiot. Personally I'd wait a year and file for a modification.

 

[SM5NY]

Holy COW! Can anyone imagine a man saying "I don't think I should pay for a kid I don't see, your honor! Plus, I have BILLS TO PAY!"

Sounds like the judge is an idiot. Personally I'd wait a year and file for a modification.

but if we wait a year with out doing anything wouldn't that mean we are agreeing and excepting his judgement. Even if nothing were tocome out of it at least it would be filed that we did not agree???
Plus in NY you have 30 days after the judgement to object.
( AND ya imagine a man making that comment, that why I was amazed at the ruling, a man would have gotten socked with everything!!

 

[SM5NY]

Just wondering. Since she lives in Europe, did that have any affect on how the judge decided to rule? How do they handle child support issues there?
I realize she is still a citizen of this country and the laws here probably apply, but I had never given much thought to how they handled things in other countries.
The whole story sounds very sad. It's a crazy, mixed up world we live in. Because of the circumstance, maybe the ex is trying to quietly back away from the situation and let the two of you raise her daughter. You should be proud of what you do for that little girl. I love kids, but I admit it would be hard to raise someone elses as if they were my own. I have the utmost respect for those who do. Thank you for what you do. Being a biological parent can have its challenges, but being a step-parent is probably more than I could handle.
Best of Luck.

Yes because she is military and still a US citizen all the US rules still apply to her. Nor she or us can do anything in England. And I'm not sure what there support is like over there. Although she's in the military we had to get her served in England. Finally cause of being oversea's the judge let my husband serve her by certified mail.

 

[SM5NY]

New News

WOW, ok, For those of you who have read the thread and know the situation (as much as one can from a thread). My husband is objecting to the court order with in his 30 day time period. Again why should him and (his ex) first child (that live with us) get less in CS cause she had another child with her current husband.
WELL, come to find out this morning that she is pregnant again (due in June). One Sept 7th she went before the court and complained that she can't pay her share of 17% (of gross income) cause she could barely afford daycare and what not for the child living with her (their kid). So we got denied the far share of her first child living with us. NOW she is going to have another she can't afford. What is wrong with people! And in her e-mail and I quote... she writes, "Well, I found out that I am pregnant again.... Boy it was a big mistake.... Oh well".
OH WELL. Like it's not a big deal!!!! WHAT.. I'm so pissed. I had to vent. Thanks!
Here's my question. In his objection letter and reason for objecting can he put in there that she is pregnant with another child even though that did not come up in court Spet 7th??
I mean her testomy was""" crying about I have my child that lives with me to take care of and I can't afford it... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Appreicate the response!

 

[AHA]

WOW, ok, For those of you who have read the thread and know the situation (as much as one can from a thread). My husband is objecting to the court order with in his 30 day time period. Again why should him and (his ex) first child (that live with us) get less in CS cause she had another child with her current husband.
WELL, come to find out this morning that she is pregnant again (due in June). One Sept 7th she went before the court and complained that she can't pay her share of 17% (of gross income) cause she could barely afford daycare and what not for the child living with her (their kid). So we got denied the far share of her first child living with us. NOW she is going to have another she can't afford. What is wrong with people! And in her e-mail and I quote... she writes, "Well, I found out that I am pregnant again.... Boy it was a big mistake.... Oh well".
OH WELL. Like it's not a big deal!!!! WHAT.. I'm so pissed. I had to vent. Thanks!
Here's my question. In his objection letter and reason for objecting can he put in there that she is pregnant with another child even though that did not come up in court Spet 7th??
I mean her testomy was""" crying about I have my child that lives with me to take care of and I can't afford it... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Appreicate the response!

People that have nothing to do in their lives and don't feel working applies to them, usually have 10 kids instead........probably to get as much financial aid/benefits as possible. IT IS SOOOOOO EASY TO PREVENT GETTING PREGNANT THAT ANY VILLAGE IDIOT COULD DO IT!!!!!! If you can't afford the kids you already have, I'd make damn sure I find some cash for potection to make sure more kids aren't added in that life of poverty. What's wrong with people, stop bringing kids into the world that you can't afford to feed, shelter and clothe!!!!!!! Don't be so god damn selfish, it is by far the ugliest quality in a parent!

 

[SM5NY]

I completely agree! But do you think he can persent that fact of her being pregnant again? I can not see and reason why not, cause I think it would pretain to what is going on. However it might be tastelsss. By this point I should care, cause I mad.
What do ya think.

 

[AHA]

I completely agree! But do you think he can persent that fact of her being pregnant again? I can not see and reason why not, cause I think it would pretain to what is going on. However it might be tastelsss. By this point I should care, cause I mad.
What do ya think.

However it turns out in this case, it's an awful excuse for trying to force a little kid to support itself. I sure hope those weak parental genes aren't passed on to the helpless child.

 

[yeu342234]

That's bullcrap! Biomom chose to have another bchild. Remember what they say "If you can't afford to support the one you already have, you shouldn't have more".

They would NEVER allow an able bodied man to get away with less than guideline CS because he had another child with someone else and his wife was not working! How sexist!

DING DING DING. This is what's happening to me. NCP claiming poverty, and his wife does not work. She never has. Court is bending over backwards for him.

 

[nextwife]

Ah, but the difference is the court ALLOWED her to not pay. Agreed with her reasoning. Betcha a MALE NCP will NOT be treated the same!!!!!! Come back after your hearing and tell me if I was right.

Female NCPs are NOT generally subjected to the same expectations as male NCPs are.

 

[audster]

I've got to agree with nextwife on this.....females are treated far better than men in family court.....this is what gives rise to the animosity of cp versus ncp.....the ex's aren't completely to blame here.....point some fingers at the judicial system that patronizes them.

 

[yeu342234]

Ah, but the difference is the court ALLOWED her to not pay. Agreed with her reasoning. Betcha a MALE NCP will NOT be treated the same!!!!!! Come back after your hearing and tell me if I was right.

Female NCPs are NOT generally subjected to the same expectations as male NCPs are.

The NCP is male. I don't understand your post.

 

[yeu342234]

I've got to agree with nextwife on this.....females are treated far better than men in family court.....this is what gives rise to the animosity of cp versus ncp.....the ex's aren't completely to blame here.....point some fingers at the judicial system that patronizes them.

In this case the female cp is being mistreated. The ncp, male, is given consideration above and beyond what's expected.

 

[nextwife]

Post #1

My husband has custody of his daughter in NY. He just went to court the get his ex wife to start paying child support. He ended up getting a temp order in the mean time because his ex is going to contest paying child support.
I already know that in the state of NY it's state guildlines of 17% of your income for one child.
My question is can she ( his ex) contest and get lower then 17%??
I mean if that state law and she can get lower then 17%, why even have a guildlines.

The NCP is male. I don't understand your post.

In this thread, the CP IS male, NOT female. His ex is claiming that she shouldn't have to pay CS because she went and had another child and her husband is unemployed. The judge ALLOWED this! And now she is yet again pregnant.

In a subsequent posting, you came on (#73) and commented that your ex is trying to make a comparable arguement. I commented that this has not yet been ruled on, and that I'd bet that, because the NCP is male is your case, you see less likelihood of the judge going along with it. And that you should come back and let us know if the judge did or did not go along with the modification request. I have seen thousands of posts, and it is amazing how often female NCPs are not even given a CS order, or given a very small one because they are voluntarily unemployed.

This MALE CP is being mistreated by his ex and the judge. His ex is choosing to make more babies and using that as a reason to pay less CS. The judge already allowed the modification and the poster will be appealing the ruling.