Can He Do This?????

[Ambr]

I think the biggest fear is she is worried dad will take child and run off from TN to NC.

Worse case......

Although a custody order isn't in place.
Dad has established paternity -- due to cs order.
Dad picks child up. Returns to NC. Files for custody hearing with a temporary grant until case is heard.

What's the odds????

 

[kbl]

Yeah that is my biggest fear that he will run off with him. I am thinkin he is getting his plan together to do something just like you suggested.

 

[Ambr]

Yeah that is my biggest fear that he will run off with him. I am thinkin he is getting his plan together to do something just like you suggested.

Don't get worked up. I didn't want to scare you.

But two of you made the child.
And the child deserves BOTH parents in their life.

If you are afraid he will run off with the child, get a CUSTODY order in place.

As it stands, he has NO VISITATION rights to the child, just as stealth told you. You don't have to let him see the child. But I REALLY believe a child should see both parents on a regular basis.

Done the abuse issue......kids present when it happens, whole nine yards. They need to be protected, but they need a relationship with the other parent as well as CP.

 

[kbl]

You are right. Kids need both their parents, and if I didnt have such problems with him before then he would be able to go off with his father with no problem. I am not one of those mothers who want to keep their kids away from their father. I want my children to be safe. And I want them to have both their parents.

 

[stealth2]

Then do the smart thing and get it all done legally.

 

[LdiJ]

However in the meantime don't allow him any access to the child. He can't just pick up the child or run off with the child if he has no access.

 

[kbl]

I dont want to be the "bad guy" in this situation. The old sob story "well when he grows up I am going to tell him how you kept my from being his father" song and dance. I guess for now then until he takes me to court I wont let him get the chance to run off with him. I just wanted to make sure that i could call the police if I had to. So I should file for custody so I dont have nothing to worry about? But if I file for custody then some type of visitation will be set up right? Then we wont have to argue over OUR son.

 

[stealth2]

Then we wont have to argue over my son.

Change that to "Then we wont have to argue over OUR son." and you'll have it right.

 

[kbl]

So do I file for custody or do I wait and see what he does??

 

[lonelyandsad]

go for custody

yes file for custody/visitation.then he cant file for custody in another state if he takes the child and runs.i cant remember what the law is called that prevents another state from deciding custody if its been decided in another state already.what i mean is,if theres a custody order in your state,and he takes the child to another state and files for custody,the state the father's in will refuse to hear his case,because a custody order is already been decided.im not sure if you can understand all this,theres a name for it,but i cant remember it.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

yes file for custody/visitation.then he cant file for custody in another state if he takes the child and runs.i cant remember what the law is called that prevents another state from deciding custody if its been decided in another state already.what i mean is,if theres a custody order in your state,and he takes the child to another state and files for custody,the state the father's in will refuse to hear his case,because a custody order is already been decided.im not sure if you can understand all this,theres a name for it,but i cant remember it.

If there was a contest for the most stupid response,...........this would be the winner.

 

[casa]

I dont want to be the "bad guy" in this situation. The old sob story "well when he grows up I am going to tell him how you kept my from being his father" song and dance. I guess for now then until he takes me to court I wont let him get the chance to run off with him. I just wanted to make sure that i could call the police if I had to. So I should file for custody so I dont have nothing to worry about? But if I file for custody then some type of visitation will be set up right? Then we wont have to argue over OUR son.

OK non legal opinion here: I am rubbed the wrong way by the phrase: "song and dance" when referring to keeping a child from their other parent (mother OR father). It's not a song and dance, it's a reality- Countless numbers of adults address this issue in therapy.

sorry non-chalance bothers me sometimes.

File to establish custody legally in the courts. You cover your bases from a legal stand point and the other parent is given specific times for visitation, which opens the door to both parents have clear boundaries & expectations.

 

[kbl]

I didnt say that it was a song and dance. I said his father likes to give me the song and dance. The "woo is me" it is all my fault that he cant see our son. Never once would I be nonchalant about my children or about them seeing their father. If I didnt care about their relationship, I would have told that man where to stick it. But I do want them have a relationship, and he is just mad because he wants it his way or no way. If anyone is nonchalant it is him.....

 

[Ambr]

I dont want to be the "bad guy" in this situation. The old sob story "well when he grows up I am going to tell him how you kept my from being his father" song and dance. I guess for now then until he takes me to court I wont let him get the chance to run off with him. I just wanted to make sure that i could call the police if I had to. So I should file for custody so I dont have nothing to worry about? But if I file for custody then some type of visitation will be set up right? Then we wont have to argue over OUR son.

Again.....don't want to scare you. BUT......

When/If this goes to court for a custody ruling. One of the BIGGIES that is considered is which parent will foster the love and respect for the other parent. Refusing contact with the father might come back to bite you in the backside (so to speak).

If dad wants to have his visitation and the only reasoning for refusing it, is fear that he won't return the child -- draw something up between you, and get it in front of a judge. When the judge signs off, you are set. Anything he does to contradict it, will be a violation.

 

[candi4687]

If there is a CS order then there has been paternity established correct? or did he even ask for paternity test? You said that he lacked a few marbles because he just returned from Iraq... Is this also the reason why he was not ABLE to see your child? From my personal experience people who just get back from Iraq are not lacking marbles they are just very cautious. Hell would you not be if you were in the situation they were in?? As far as custody goes, if he is paying child support then that is a form of contact with the child. I just don't think the fact that he just returned from Iraq should be ignored but not just to condim the man with it either. Its not like he said .. "Hmmm stay and take care of our child or go get shot at in Iraq.." Just don't work this way. Besides with knowing he was military you knew the sacrifices that would be made in ALL areas of his life. I don't mean to judge because I don't know the ENTIRE situation but you don't need to condim ANYONE for going to Iraq so now he is crazy and he has not been around your son. HE DID NOT HAVE AN OPTION!!!!! NONE OF THEM DID!
Good Luck