Can he really get joint custody?

[theyoungest20]

What is the name of your state? Wisconsin

I was rescently served with papers from an ex of mine. We were never married. He is taking me to court trying to get joint custody, child support lowered and something done about who is suppose to cover insurance costs. We have one child together... a daughter who is approx. 2 1/2 yrs old. J(my ex) has seen her a total of 3 hours in her life! Three visits of approx. an hour each time and every time I went out of my way to bring her to him. All three of these visits were in the first 6 months of her life. He hasn't seen her since June 14th, 2003 and today if January 17th 2005. He has only called one time since the last visit and that was about a statement he got from his insurance company. He told me he was woried that he would have to pay the amount his insurance didn't cover. Durring this phone call he never asked about our daughter. Right when he was getting ready to hang up I told him that he was free to come and see her any time that he wanted as long as he called and arranged a time first. He said that he would call with in the next 5 days... and guess what he never called. That phone call was around May of 2004. Here we are in January of 2005 and he has not once tried to contact me in regards to our daughter. The part that makes this even sadder... He lives in the same metropolitian area, only about 15 min from us.
So finally after that huge sphiel... Can he actually get joint custody of our daughter?
I am engaged to be married in June of this year and my fiance', who has been raiseing G(the child in this case) since she was 6 months old, wants to adopt her as soon as we are married.

Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated... Thanks

 

[theyoungest20]

someone

Can someone please give me their opinion on the situation. I would really appreciate it.

 

[glowgirl]

Please don't quote me as I am in Canada and my opinion may be different than others on this forum. I think however from reading along that if new hubby wants to adopt after getting married I think the bio-dad has to sign away his rights in order for that to usually happen.

In regards to cusotody, yes he does have equal rights, as you do. A judge may take the bio-dads past relationship with his child into consideration when ruling, but no one here can tell what a judges ruling will be. It is a possibility that if bio-dad decides he wants to now be involved than he will be obligated to make support payments that are in relation with the law and his income whether it be higher or lower and a visitation scheudle (perhaps supervised if that is in the best interest of the child and the judge agrees) will begin. Sometimes when there is a length of time between dad and child supervised visits are recommended. However remember that they are not usually a forever type of deal.

Basically bio-dad as much of a "missing dad" he has been is intitiled to his rights as a father.

You should make sure you have a lawyer to help you further with this. If money is an issue for you try legal aid to see if they can help. If not than borrow the money. Your child is your future and should be the most important thing to you, money can be paid back.

I hope this helps, I do wish you and your family the best of luck.

 

[meandmykids]

I don't know all the rules, but here's what's happened in our case. We have joint custody also, but it means little. I still have primary custody, the kids live with me and xh has standard visitation... which he rarely comes for. When I researched the term "joint custody" a few years back, I understood it to mean a term the court uses to pacify the fathers. Instead of them just being "visitors" with the kids, they have this "joint" thing and it makes them feel better. Many ask for little more and in your case, it doesn't sound like he will get any more based on his rare visits.

As for adoption, unless he is willing to give the child up, adoption cannot take place until he is gone for an extended period of time with no contact with the child. The times vary from state to state- some say 6 months, others say 2 years.

 

[haiku]

at ANY time the father has the right to persue visitation and custody.

There are 2 forms of custody, physical, which is who the child resides with, and legal, which pertains to being able to make major decisions regarding the childs welfare.

the likelyhood of him recieving any sort of physical custody,right now after having minimal visitation is small, judges can usually see right through a bid for physical custody, if the primary reason is to avoid child support.

joint legal custody is something that he could very well get, if he does not have it already.

Working out who pays what for medical costs is important, and usually but not always is split between the parties.

if the bio parent is not willing to give up thier parental rights for another to adopt, the likelyhood is it will never happen.

In your case the father has not really abandoned the child, because he pays his support, even if it is sporadically.