Can I sue the father's estate?

[needhelpHELP]

What is the name of your state?PA

This is kinda long. Sorry!


My exboyfriend (father of my 2 girls 7 and 9 we were never married) died in a car accident 3 months ago. When we were together (its been 7 years). I know that he had a life insurance policy in excess of 1,000,000$. My ex was paying 1220$ a month in support before he passed away. Wasn't in arrears at all. Since then, I have received NOTHING. I am in the process of applying for social security benefits for my daughters. When we were living together I was the beneficiery for the life insurance policy. But I called, and found out that he switched it over to his wife. He married 4 years ago, and he and his wife have a 3 year old son.

I called his wife about 2 months ago to inquire about his life insurance money. She refused to talk about it and hung up on me. I called his parent's and they too got angry, and refused to discuss it with me, stating that it was none of my business. Social security is telling me that I have to split his social security benefits 3 ways. Since his wife applied too. Meaning that his wife will get a 3rd of it. She doesn't need it, she has a good job and a college education. She can support her OWN son, and doesn't need to steal money from my kids that THEY need!


I was dependant on that CS money, and now I'm worried that I'm going to lose my apartment, and my car! Not to mention that I have no idea how to keep my kids fed and clothed. I am currently disabled and receive a small amount of social security each month (591$). Its definitely not enough to cover our expenses. It also galls me that SHE gets a third of his benefits too! She doesn't need it..she got EVERYTHING else! Including whatever other things he's accrued in the past 7 years. I know he had a pension too. Plus I hear that she gets survivor benefits from his union. I called the union and they told me that they are exclusively for the spouse of a member who must care for a deceased member's children. (AKA..because my kids aren't legitimate I get squat!) She lives in a nice house, drives a brand new BMW and her son goes to an expensive private Montisorri preschool. While my kids live in government housing, I have a 5 year old car, and my kids go to public school. My 9 yr old overheard SM telling another relative that their house was paid off during the funeral/wake. (Which I was told not at all nicely, by ex's parents that I was not welcome to attend!)


Is there a way that I can sue her for support? Not really her, but my exboyfriend's estate? I would like his estate to be responsible for paying at least the 1220/month until the kids are 18. I also think that they should inherit at least 1/2 of the life insurance money when they come of age. (I figure 1/4 for her, 1/4 for their son, and 1/4 for each of my kids) I would be willing not sue for his part of their house if this is done. Someone told me that my kids are entitled to half of the money from his house, and half of everything else that he owned. Is this legal? What about SS, do they look at who needs the money more when they allocate who gets what? I have no money for an attorney.

I feel like this woman is stealing from her own husband's kids! Can I legally force her to pay what is rightfully owed to MY kids? I just don't get how this can all be legal!!!!

 

[dannysmyboy]

What is the name of your state?PA


I called his wife about 2 months ago to inquire about his life insurance money. She refused to talk about it and hung up on me. I called his parent's and they too got angry, and refused to discuss it with me, stating that it was none of my business. Social security is telling me that I have to split his social security benefits 3 ways. Since his wife applied too. Meaning that his wife will get a 3rd of it. She doesn't need it, she has a good job and a college education. She can support her OWN son, and doesn't need to steal money from my kids that THEY need!

It's irrelevant is she doesn't need the benefits financially. If by law her child is entitled to 1/3, then the child is entitled to 1/3.... If she can support her OWN son, then support your OWN 2 kids..... It's not her fault, she's educated and has a good job.... This is one of many problems with divorces and new blended families. What if the shoe was on the other foot, eh...

 

[dannysmyboy]

What is the name of your state?PA

This is kinda long. Sorry!



I was dependant on that CS money, and now I'm worried that I'm going to lose my apartment, and my car! Not to mention that I have no idea how to keep my kids fed and clothed. I am currently disabled and receive a small amount of social security each month (591$). Its definitely not enough to cover our expenses. It also galls me that SHE gets a third of his benefits too! She doesn't need it..she got EVERYTHING else! Including whatever other things he's accrued in the past 7 years. I know he had a pension too. Plus I hear that she gets survivor benefits from his union. I called the union and they told me that they are exclusively for the spouse of a member who must care for a deceased member's children. (AKA..because my kids aren't legitimate I get squat!) She lives in a nice house, drives a brand new BMW and her son goes to an expensive private Montisorri preschool. While my kids live in government housing, I have a 5 year old car, and my kids go to public school. My 9 yr old overheard SM telling another relative that their house was paid off during the funeral/wake. (Which I was told not at all nicely, by ex's parents that I was not welcome to attend!)



Maybe it's time you found your sugar daddy....

 

[needhelpHELP]

But what about all of the other money that she got. Aren't my kids entitled to their father's estate too?

 

[dannysmyboy]

But what about all of the other money that she got. Aren't my kids entitled to their father's estate too?

Since I'm not an estate attorney. I can only add an educated guess. If he had a will that stated that he wanted his 3 kids to share in his estate....maybe you have a leg to stand on. There are a lot of free resources and attorney's for low income people that can answer your questions, without charging you. Check with your counties Child Services department. They are really helpful and informative, at least with my experiences.

Unfortunuately, when Xs die that's just the story of life, especially if they've remarried. Child support is suppose to help you with the kids, not 100% support the kids.

Maybe it was your approach when you contacted the other wife...I know that X-wifes and girlfriend's can be apprear rude/nasty to the "new" lady at times.

Try locating the free resources in your area...the only way to get piece of mind is to get the answers your seeking.

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state?PA

My exboyfriend (father of my 2 girls 7 and 9 we were never married) died in a car accident 3 months ago. When we were together (its been 7 years). I know that he had a life insurance policy in excess of 1,000,000$. My ex was paying 1220$ a month in support before he passed away. Wasn't in arrears at all. Since then, I have received NOTHING. I am in the process of applying for social security benefits for my daughters. When we were living together I was the beneficiery for the life insurance policy. But I called, and found out that he switched it over to his wife. He married 4 years ago, and he and his wife have a 3 year old son.

**That's the way it is with life insurance...did you honestly think he was going to leave his ex girlfriend in a better position than his wife?

I called his wife about 2 months ago to inquire about his life insurance money. She refused to talk about it and hung up on me. I called his parent's and they too got angry, and refused to discuss it with me, stating that it was none of my business.

**I'd be pissed, too, if an ex girlfriend called me trying to get money after my son/husband passed away in an accident.

Social security is telling me that I have to split his social security benefits 3 ways. Since his wife applied too. Meaning that his wife will get a 3rd of it. She doesn't need it, she has a good job and a college education. She can support her OWN son, and doesn't need to steal money from my kids that THEY need!

**Um...who died and made you President of All Things? That's not up to you to decide.

I was dependant on that CS money, and now I'm worried that I'm going to lose my apartment, and my car! Not to mention that I have no idea how to keep my kids fed and clothed. I am currently disabled and receive a small amount of social security each month (591$). Its definitely not enough to cover our expenses.

**A really good reason to not depend entirely upon other people to support you.

It also galls me that SHE gets a third of his benefits too! She doesn't need it..she got EVERYTHING else! Including whatever other things he's accrued in the past 7 years. I know he had a pension too. Plus I hear that she gets survivor benefits from his union. I called the union and they told me that they are exclusively for the spouse of a member who must care for a deceased member's children. (AKA..because my kids aren't legitimate I get squat!)

**Do you honestly think that an ex girlfriend gets the inheritance that a wife and legitimate kids get? Why on earth would you get his pension? His savings? His house? He's been working, obviously...what have you been doing?

She lives in a nice house, drives a brand new BMW and her son goes to an expensive private Montisorri preschool.

**Not your business.

While my kids live in government housing, I have a 5 year old car, and my kids go to public school.

**That is your business. What have you done to improve your family's situation?

My 9 yr old overheard SM telling another relative that their house was paid off during the funeral/wake. (Which I was told not at all nicely, by ex's parents that I was not welcome to attend!)

**Not your business to know anything about their house or their finances. And not your business to attend the funeral. It's up to the family to invite...or not. Apparently, you are on the "NOT" list.

Is there a way that I can sue her for support? Not really her, but my exboyfriend's estate? I would like his estate to be responsible for paying at least the 1220/month until the kids are 18. I also think that they should inherit at least 1/2 of the life insurance money when they come of age. (I figure 1/4 for her, 1/4 for their son, and 1/4 for each of my kids) I would be willing not sue for his part of their house if this is done. Someone told me that my kids are entitled to half of the money from his house, and half of everything else that he owned. Is this legal? What about SS, do they look at who needs the money more when they allocate who gets what? I have no money for an attorney.

I feel like this woman is stealing from her own husband's kids! Can I legally force her to pay what is rightfully owed to MY kids? I just don't get how this can all be legal!!!!

**I don't get how you came to any of these conclusions.

 

[needhelpHELP]

I just can't believe this is legal. I thought that the father was legally required to support his children until they turned 18.

 

[Silverplum]

I just can't believe this is legal. I thought that the father was legally required to support his children until they turned 18.

If there is a court order for child support, the father is legally required to support his children for as long as the court order says he is, and in the manner and amount the court order says he is.

As long as he's...ya know...ALIVE to do so.

There are provisions that could have been worked out BEFORE he died, but it is too late to do so now. Apparently the family is pissed at you, and you have left no bridges unburnt.

As it is, CS is only supposed to cover the NCP's portion of the children's expenses. The CP is to support the kids, too.

 

[needhelpHELP]

I just can't believe how unfair this situation is. I just called the wife and she stated that she would be willing to pay a modest amount of support (not even HALF of what I get now!), but that she wants to exercise the same visitation that her husband did. EOW, and a couple weeks during the summer. She said that 'she' will be willing to give each of my kids 150,000 toward their college, with the additional amount that they don't use, given to them at the age of 25! We need a place to live and food on the table..not college at this point! She said that her attorney will be sending me papers requesting visitation and setting up some kind of support if I agree to her terms.

I told her that I definitely DO NOT AGREE! My kids are NOT for sale, she can't BUY THEM! She's acting like she's giving us some kind of gift and I should be greatful! This is THEIR FATHER'S MONEY. NOT HERS! Then she uses the lame excuse that the kids already lost their father, and they shouldn't have to lose each other too! Thats total crap. She's not my daughter's mother and that kid is NOT their brother. I will not subject my kids to her selfishness!


Could I get more if I sued her?

 

[Silverplum]

I just can't believe how unfair this situation is. I just called the wife and she stated that she would be willing to pay a modest amount of support (not even HALF of what I get now!), but that she wants to exercise the same visitation that her husband did. EOW, and a couple weeks during the summer. She said that 'she' will be willing to give each of my kids 150,000 toward their college, with the additional amount that they don't use, given to them at the age of 25! We need a place to live and food on the table..not college at this point! She said that her attorney will be sending me papers requesting visitation and setting up some kind of support if I agree to her terms.

I told her that I definitely DO NOT AGREE! My kids are NOT for sale, she can't BUY THEM! She's acting like she's giving us some kind of gift and I should be greatful! This is THEIR FATHER'S MONEY. NOT HERS! Then she uses the lame excuse that the kids already lost their father, and they shouldn't have to lose each other too! Thats total crap. She's not my daughter's mother and that kid is NOT their brother. I will not subject my kids to her selfishness!

Could I get more if I sued her?

The only reason I am responding to you at this point is to tell you one thing that apparently has never entered your head:

You did not heed the "rules of society" and the "finer points of law" when you were having babies out of wedlock with this man. You did not get a future nailed down for your children...again, apparently because you were not concerned with the law and societal structure.

Now you want the law and the society to protect you and your children, as if you have been in step all along. I find it laughable. And sad.

 

[needhelpHELP]

So my kids should live in squalor, and her kid should live in a palace because she managed to get a little peice of paper? How is it me and my kids fault that the selfish ******* (god rest his soul) wouldn't marry me? On top of it all I have to deal with a so called "stepmom" stealing MY kids money and no one cares?

 

[TNBSMommy]

I just can't believe how unfair this situation is. I just called the wife and she stated that she would be willing to pay a modest amount of support (not even HALF of what I get now!), but that she wants to exercise the same visitation that her husband did. EOW, and a couple weeks during the summer. She said that 'she' will be willing to give each of my kids 150,000 toward their college, with the additional amount that they don't use, given to them at the age of 25! We need a place to live and food on the table..not college at this point! She said that her attorney will be sending me papers requesting visitation and setting up some kind of support if I agree to her terms.

I told her that I definitely DO NOT AGREE! My kids are NOT for sale, she can't BUY THEM! She's acting like she's giving us some kind of gift and I should be greatful! This is THEIR FATHER'S MONEY. NOT HERS! Then she uses the lame excuse that the kids already lost their father, and they shouldn't have to lose each other too! Thats total crap. She's not my daughter's mother and that kid is NOT their brother. I will not subject my kids to her selfishness!


Could I get more if I sued her?

This post makes you sound bitter, spiteful and greedy.

 

[MandyD]

I can't believe you lady. Since she was the beneficiary of his life insurance, it is HER money, not his and certainly not yours'. She is being VERY generous to your children by offering them a college education, something it's obvious you won't be able to provide. She is under no obligation to you or your children. I'd think long and hard before I turned down her offer. You're not selling your children, you're giving them a future.

If you can't house, feed and cloth your children, that's YOUR fault, nobody else's. They will be collecting survivor benefits through Social Security though, so they won't left completely out in the cold.

BTW, that "kid" is their half-brother.

 

[MandyD]

So my kids should live in squalor, and her kid should live in a palace because she managed to get a little peice of paper? How is it me and my kids fault that the selfish ******* (god rest his soul) wouldn't marry me? On top of it all I have to deal with a so called "stepmom" stealing MY kids money and no one cares?

Actually, if these posts of yours' are any indication of your true personality, I'd say it was your fault he never married you. He really dodged a bullet there.

 

[Silverplum]

I can't believe you lady. Since she was the beneficiary of his life insurance, it is HER money, not his and certainly not yours'. She is being VERY generous to your children by offering them a college education, something it's obvious you won't be able to provide. She is under no obligation to you or your children. I'd think long and hard before I turned down her offer. You're not selling your children, you're giving them a future.
(snip)
BTW, that "kid" is their half-brother.

I think the stepmom sounds like a kind and generous woman. I admire her actions toward her stepkids in her time of loss. For as you said, she is under no legal obligation to the stepkids.