can she sell my baby?

[socrazy]

I have to be honest... I realize that I got myself into this situation, and it is completely my fault. Please do not lecture me, I've had enough from people who know me...

I cheated on my wife and the woman got pregnant. (The "affair" is very much over and yes, I have come clean to my wife and family.) I have small children at home and have considered giving the child up for adoption. All parties involved believe that adoption is best for the baby, to give him/her a better chance at stability and happiness, instead of having two parents who made a mistake )in being together in the first place, not the child that is the "mistake") and pretty much hate each other at this point. The ex (is that what she is considered?) said she was going to talk to some adoption agencies in the area, but I found out she is going through a lawyer instead. She just quit her job four days ago giving no notice. Is it possible that she is getting paid to adopt this baby out? What is legal as far as money goes? She has good health insurance, and has no living expenses as she reconciled with her husband and is living with him again. Can I refuse to go through with the adoption if she recieves compensation of any type? Also, can I refuse adoption if she won't let me attend the ultrasound and the birth? I know that I messed up, but I love my child very much already, and I want to know that s/he is healthy (thus the doctor appts) and I want him/her to have a great family, but I WILL NOT sell the baby. I want this decision to be based on having the best family possible, not on money.

Also, if she does try to "sell" our baby, can I use that against her in court to gey full custody if I decide not to proceed with the adoption?

Thank you for your time and assistance, and apologize for the long length.

 

[dorenephilpot]

Baby selling here in Indiana is illegal.

The costs of health care and child birth can be paid, but it's illegal to sell a baby.

I don't know what the laws are in your state, but I suspect they're the same.

In Indiana, if you haven't registered with the putative father registry within 30 days of the baby's birth OR before the petition for adoption is filed, your consent is implied by statute, and there's nothing you can do to stop the adoption....

Hope this helps answer your questions....

 

[wtd]

I cheated on my wife and the woman got pregnant
I'm not sure it was all her fault.

I want this decision to be based on having the best family possible, not on money
If only you'd had this much concern for your WIFE!
Of course she hadn't been born yet when you met her.
Maybe you could go down to the pound and commiserate with those waiting in line to be neutered.
Any dog can reproduce ( as a matter of fact 3, 4 maybe 5 at a time), as I understand it only humans can keep a promise.
What are you gonna do next time (big boy)?

 

[crystal2]

wtd, did you miss the part where the poster said he was looking for advice, not lectures? Have you never made a mistake in your life? He sounds to me like he understands he messed up and is trying to figure out the best thing to do now. He's asking for good legal advice, not criticism.

 

[socrazy]

Thank you WTD for your sarcasm. I do so appreciate it. I have already acknowledged that I screwed up and am very sorry for the mistakes I have made. I could have completely destroyed my family and have hurt my wife beyond belief. Any comments made by you can not serve to make me any sorrier than I already am. I have not tried to justify what I have done, and have taken full responsibility on all fronts. I am paying the price for my actions, but my main concern now is not for me, it is for my family and the baby. They have all gotten the raw end of the deal, and I am trying my hardest to make things as right as I possibly can.

Crystal2, Thank you for NOT being sarcastic. I am obviously not getting much support (not that I deserve OR expect it). Ironically, the person who has been the most supportive is the one I hurt the most, my wife. WTD is actually right when he/she said I should have had more concern for her. I didn't think about what I had at home, and that was the biggest mistake of all. I won't make that mistake again. BTW, we are in marriage counseling.

dorenephilpot, thank you for the information. I will check here and see if there is any such registry. I have also found a lawyer who deals specifically with men's rights in situations like this.

Thank you again!