can't find deadbeat dad

[wyldfyr]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Florida
My ex-husband owes me almost $15, 000 in back child support. He had his drivers license suspended. He now lives in North Carolina and works "under the table" so noone can track him. A few months ago his girlfriend tracked me down to get info on him and informed me that she was pregnant. She is 17 and he is 32. This is, from what I understand, his 7th child. He doens't take care of any of them. Of course being a single mom, I can't afford to pay someone to track him down. Aren't there any Government agencies that do this? Why does it seem like they would rather all of us be on welfare than permanently stop this "man" from having anymore children!

 

[saintkbsmom67]

ARe there any of his family members that can assist you with his whereabouts? 7 children? that is crazy. I do understand what you are saying about the system not assisting as much as they can, but it seems as tho there are more deadbeat dads than the system can handle and it takes time to find them.

 

[CO19]

Aren't there any Government agencies that do this?

> Have you tried contacting the NC Division of Social Services Child Support Enforcement? If not, here is their website http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/cse/index.htm

 

[nextwife]

But why are all these women having 7 children with someone who can't possibly have any money left to support another child? Shouldn't THEY also be responsible for their reproduction, and NOT make babies with people they don't know well, unless they themselves are capable of supporting any future child WITHOUT help?

WE, the taxpayers, are paying for them NOT just because of dad. If a woman chooses to have children with a man who they know or suspect cannot or will not be able to provide support, they are JUST as irresponsible as the "deadbeat dad" for burdening the taxpayors.

 

[IrishLady47]

But why are all these women having 7 children with someone who can't possibly have any money left to support another child? Shouldn't THEY also be responsible for their reproduction, and NOT make babies with people they don't know well, unless they themselves are capable of supporting any future child WITHOUT help?

WE, the taxpayers, are paying for them NOT just because of dad. If a woman chooses to have children with a man who they know or suspect cannot or will not be able to provide support, they are JUST as irresponsible as the "deadbeat dad" for burdening the taxpayors.

Amen to that!!

 

[saintkbsmom67]

But why are all these women having 7 children with someone who can't possibly have any money left to support another child? Shouldn't THEY also be responsible for their reproduction, and NOT make babies with people they don't know well, unless they themselves are capable of supporting any future child WITHOUT help?

WE, the taxpayers, are paying for them NOT just because of dad. If a woman chooses to have children with a man who they know or suspect cannot or will not be able to provide support, they are JUST as irresponsible as the "deadbeat dad" for burdening the taxpayors.

She is requesting assistance, not a sermon.

 

[IrishLady47]

She is requesting assistance, not a sermon.

No, she is already getting assistance in one form and another poster gave her an additional suggestion.

Aren't there any Government agencies that do this? Why does it seem like they would rather all of us be on welfare than permanently stop this "man" from having anymore children!

Have you tried contacting the NC Division of Social Services Child Support Enforcement? If not, here is their website http://www.dhhs.state.nc.us/dss/cse/index.htm

Although if she is receiving welfare benefits (not quite sure from her post), CSE is already trying to track the father, he owes money to the state. And, as you pointed out there are a lot of deadbeat dads (and moms).

I do understand what you are saying about the system not assisting as much as they can, but it seems as tho there are more deadbeat dads than the system can handle and it takes time to find them.

So she really is just complaining about the system & deadbeat dads, in other words, sharing her opinion. In response, she received other people's opinions, like nextwife's and mine. I am certainly not saying her ex is not responsible for supporting ALL of his children. But, fact remains, since he isn't, the burden has fallen on her. She needs to concentrate on improving her life and ability to support her children regardless of what he does. I'm not theorizing, I've been there. Had an ex that worked 10 years under the table just to avoid paying support. Best thing I ever did concentrate on MY career and taking care of our child. Never dropped the case thru CSE, though. He finally was forced to pay all back support when our son was 26.

Her other point seems to be that he should be permanently stopped from having more children. That is hardly a request for legal assistance.

 

[betterthanher]

But why are all these women having 7 children with someone who can't possibly have any money left to support another child? Shouldn't THEY also be responsible for their reproduction, and NOT make babies with people they don't know well, unless they themselves are capable of supporting any future child WITHOUT help?

WE, the taxpayers, are paying for them NOT just because of dad. If a woman chooses to have children with a man who they know or suspect cannot or will not be able to provide support, they are JUST as irresponsible as the "deadbeat dad" for burdening the taxpayors.

Amen! I know this might take this off-topic, but your comments make me wonder what are the chances of taxpayers filing a class action-like lawsuit against these deadbeats (including the mothers who bring children into this world knowing damn well they can't support them and rely on other assistance). I know it's a long shot, but I can't imagine it's that far-fetched given some of the lawsuits to hit the news over the years.

 

[dallas702]

And of course, the new trend of taking away driver or professional licenses has again proven to be totally nonproductive.

Wyldfyr;
Use the state's collection process as much as possible, but reality is you'll probably never see a dime.

 

[nextwife]

And of course, the new trend of taking away driver or professional licenses has again proven to be totally nonproductive.

IMHO, severly impairing a NCPs earning capacity seems COUNTER productive to the agreed goal of providing support to children. Say, for example, this NCP were paying support for 5 of seven kids, but got behind on paying for court orders 6 & 7? If he THEN lost his professional license, ALL kids would lose a good amount of support, because then he'd make far less per hour. And if he could then not get his license UNTIL he paid up, all kids would be perpetually limited in the amount of support funds that they would get.

I don't see how dropping a person's earning capacity down to minimum wage HELPS achieve the goal of getting the support cauught up. We have seen many parties here who got behind because of a second or third order. Yes, of course they should not have had more children if they could not support them. But neither should the respective, subsequent moms if the co-parent had no more financial support capacity.

 

[Zephyr]

IMHO, severly impairing a NCPs earning capacity seems COUNTER productive to the agreed goal of providing support to children. Say, for example, this NCP were paying support for 5 of seven kids, but got behind on paying for court orders 6 & 7? If he THEN lost his professional license, ALL kids would lose a good amount of support, because then he'd make far less per hour. And if he could then not get his license UNTIL he paid up, all kids would be perpetually limited in the amount of support funds that they would get.

I don't see how dropping a person's earning capacity down to minimum wage HELPS achieve the goal of getting the support cauught up. We have seen many parties here who got behind because of a second or third order.

I am pretty sure that it is uncommon for someone with a professional license, such as a doctor, to be running around having 7 and not paying support... probably less than 1 percent. when you really think about who the deadbeats are, they are mostly uneducated, unsettled....and never going to have anything in their life anyway.

granted that course of action hasn't been successful, but I really don't think they are taking away that many people's earning capacity.

 

[nextwife]

I am pretty sure that it is uncommon for someone with a professional license, such as a doctor, to be running around having 7 and not paying support... probably less than 1 percent. when you really think about who the deadbeats are, they are mostly uneducated, unsettled....and never going to have anything in their life anyway.

granted that course of action hasn't been successful, but I really don't think they are taking away that many people's earning capacity.

There are a great many modest income careers that require licenses. Few make what doctors make. And one need not have seven kids to have too many orders to keep up with. Remember, we had one guy here who was NOT behind who had afirst order taking 50% of his income, and then two more orders, neither even taking order one into consideration, got added, so he was almost immediately behind on those as there was very little left?

Anyway, examples of some "license required" professions, besides doctors and lawyers:

DIHLR Weatherization Inspector
Property Inspector
Appraiser
Real Estate Agent
Title Insurance Sales
Other Insurance Sales
Teaching

 

[saintkbsmom67]

There are a great many modest income careers that require licenses. Few make what doctors make. And one need not have seven kids to have too many orders to keep up with. Remember, we had one guy here who was NOT behind who had afirst order taking 50% of his income, and then two more orders, neither even taking order one into consideration, got added, so he was almost immediately behind on those as there was very little left?

Anyway, examples of some "license required" professions, besides doctors and lawyers:

DIHLR Weatherization Inspector
Property Inspector
Appraiser
Real Estate Agent
Title Insurance Sales
Other Insurance Sales
Teaching

You forgot those construction workers. (Ex is one and he makes or should I say made a pretty penny here in NY and now making close to 1/4 of that downsouth.)

 

[Zephyr]

There are a great many modest income careers that require licenses. Few make what doctors make. And one need not have seven kids to have too many orders to keep up with. Remember, we had one guy here who was NOT behind who had afirst order taking 50% of his income, and then two more orders, neither even taking order one into consideration, got added, so he was almost immediately behind on those as there was very little left?

Anyway, examples of some "license required" professions, besides doctors and lawyers:

DIHLR Weatherization Inspector
Property Inspector
Appraiser
Real Estate Agent
Title Insurance Sales
Other Insurance Sales
Teaching

while I agree with you that the practice is not really working on a large scale I do think there should be massive consequences to people who don't support their kids. Look at all of those careers you listed, with each comes a large amount of responsibility- these are not the majority of ncp's who don't pay, responsible people pay their bills and use the appropriate processes to get things adjusted if it is simply unaffordable.

the people who don't pay (with the exception of those wackjobs who are willing to destroy their own life to not give the ex a dime ) are people who don't have any incentive to do so.

 

[wyldfyr]

Well I want to thank you all for the responses. However, I did not realize that it would turn into two people responding back and forth to each other. Regarding anybody thinking that I am a burden to the tax payers, I am a tax payer. I do not recieve any assistance from anyone!!!!! I have contacted North Carolina and they advised me that since this case originated in Florida, basically it was going to stay here. His family is completely uncooperative and the reason we "stupid" women have babies with him is because he is a good manipulator. I take full responsibilty for my actions, that's why I take care of my children. If anyone has anythng constructive that I could try, I would appreciate the info. The other people who just want to act like I am looking for a handout, please go find someone else to irritate.