change of residence

[spieslikeus]

What is the name of your state?TX

My ex is the custodial parent of my three children. After spending Christmas vacation with me, my middle child did not return to her home and has been residing with me since. Now my oldest wants to come live with me, too. It is my feeling that the youngest will do the same as soon as he is of the age to be allowed to make that decision. That won't be for at least 5 years though. My wages are still being garnished and ex is still receiving child support because I didn't want to file for a modification until I knew if this would be a permanent situation (the change of the residences).

My question is, do I have to go back to court to file for custody or is it enough for the two children who are of age (14 and 17) to say where they want to live? Do I just need to file for a modification? Will the ex have to pay me child support or not? I would just like to know the appropriate steps to take and the ones that will put the least amount of pressure on my kids. If we (me and the kids) have to go to court, the kids will be put through an emotional hell. That is certain. But if that's the way it has to be done, I need to prepare them.

 

[Ambr]

File a modification for both, the custody/visitation and child support.

It's nice that you guys have been working together and so easily without fighting back and forth over it. Hopefully that won't change when you make it official on paper.

Some parents aren't so cooperative once the support order stops and they are required to start paying support.

 

[spieslikeus]

No, please don't misunderstand. The ex hasn't been cooperative. There's just no reason to get into that.

 

[Ambr]

Nice not to hear all of the bashing.

It's in your best interest to make everything "legit" through the courts.

Plus a modification will be required so you can stop paying support for the child that is living with you.

 

[stealth2]

Uuuh, you realize that if the CP has not consented to the child staying with you, you are in contempt of the custody order, right? The only way you can legally change custody is through a modification. Until then, you are required to continue paying the ordered support. Keeping the child against the CP's wishes may not help you when you get in front of the judge.

 

[Ambr]

Uuuh, you realize that if the CP has not consented to the child staying with you, you are in contempt of the custody order, right? The only way you can legally change custody is through a modification. Until then, you are required to continue paying the ordered support. Keeping the child against the CP's wishes may not help you when you get in front of the judge.

I was under the impression that MOM was okay with the child that was living with him. Of course, all of that will probably stop once he files a modification.

In all honesty, if the second child is going to come live with you voluntarily and mom is willing to allow that. I would get the second child in the household and in your school district --- all with moms silent blessing -- THEN file the modification. Hard for mom to complain, if she is basically allowing it.

 

[spieslikeus]

I'm not keeping my child against CP's wishes. Ex agreed to let my child live here, even brought the clothes and a few personal items. The part about the ex being uncooperative is her belittling my child, telling my child that they will be the same trash their father is if they stay here with me, everything that they have ever learned will be thrown out the window if they stay with "that ignorant *******" (me). She doesn't have a problem being relieved of any responsiblity, she just doesn't like that she wasn't first choice.

 

[Ambr]

Then PLEASE, let me repeat....

If the second child is going to come live with you voluntarily and mom is willing to allow that. I would get the second child in the household and in your school district --- all with moms silent blessing -- THEN file the modification. Hard for mom to complain, if she is basically allowing it.

Just DO NOT stop paying your support order until you get the modification. And remember, you don't have anything "official" until both modification go through - custody and support.

 

[stealth2]

I'm surprised that the school allowed you to register the kid - they usually won't unless they see a custody order.