Cheating hubby makes me a step-mom, do I have rights?

[SMOFTERGAGE]

What is the name of your state? CA

Trying to find my place! Court staff will not talk to me about the court case, because I am not the BM or BF. In my family I am the one that handles everything the business, finances, repairs, cleaning, etc...
The BM has tried to run me down with her car (I now have a restraining order against her) she is constantly sending licensing to my business (false reports). We have to pick up and drop me Step-son off at a poilce station. How on earth can this work with such a person? When will the judge hear what I have to say?

Please advise!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

When will the judge hear what I have to say?

My response:

Never. You have no legal standing in the issues between them. If it wasn't for the fact that you were married, you wouldn't be there at all. But, marriage doesn't give you any rights.

Either put up with it, or get out. Those are your choices.

IAAL

 

[jslopez711]

How on earth can this work with such a person? When will the judge hear what I have to say?

Please advise!

You should have thought of that and Never.

 

[SMOFTERGAGE]

1. Never. You have no legal standing in the issues between them. If it wasn't for the fact that you were married, you wouldn't be there at all. But, marriage doesn't give you any rights.

Either put up with it, or get out. Those are your choices

reply: I never thought about it that way.....you are so right!

2. You should have thought of that and Never

Reply: I should have thought of what? I don't know this person and I did not choose for her to be in my life.

 

[Zephyr]

I agree you can put up with it or get out, but you don't have to put up with it passively, that woman has absolutely no reason to contact you, especially at work, you have a restraining order on her, every time she contacts you, notify the police, after enough times, you will certainly have a civil harrassment case against her.

 

[Zephyr]

also you said "we have to pick up..." if you have a restraining order against her, YOU have no business going where you know she will be, that could be seen as you antagonizing her.... let your louse of a hubby go alone.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? CA

Trying to find my place! Court staff will not talk to me about the court case, because I am not the BM or BF. In my family I am the one that handles everything the business, finances, repairs, cleaning, etc...
The BM has tried to run me down with her car (I now have a restraining order against her) she is constantly sending licensing to my business (false reports). We have to pick up and drop me Step-son off at a poilce station. How on earth can this work with such a person? When will the judge hear what I have to say?

Please advise!

It's hard being a stepmom because you have no legal standing in issues re; child custody/visitation. It's up to your husband to keep you informed...and considering his past, I'm guessing he doesn't do that well. Unfortunately you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. Keep the restraining order- Do not have any contact with the child's mother at all- Let the father handle correspondence between the 2. (Non-legal advice, have you considered counseling? Cheating is a pretty serious problem and doesnt just go away on it's own.)

 

[jslopez711]

I agree you can put up with it or get out, but you don't have to put up with it passively, that woman has absolutely no reason to contact you, especially at work, you have a restraining order on her, every time she contacts you, notify the police, after enough times, you will certainly have a civil harrassment case against her.

civil harrassment? Wouldn't it be criminal or is she going to seek some mula?

 

[Zephyr]

I don't know how well trying to get the mother of her husbands baby thrown in jail would go over with the hubby, but making her pay a little hard earned cash may make her think twice about repeating that behavior...IMHO

 

[SMOFTERGAGE]

also you said "we have to pick up..." if you have a restraining order against her, YOU have no business going where you know she will be, that could be seen as you antagonizing her.... let your louse of a hubby go alone.

Thanks your comments are very helpful....
Let me clerify: While leaving the courts after having the paternity test done. She tried to run down the two of us in the parking lot. A police report was filed. The state picked up the case and she plead guilty. I would not want any parent to be away from their child so I asked that she not have jail time. She was ordered to stay away from my family (husband included). She has to go to anger management classes for 2 years, and see a probation officer for 3 years. The charge was assult with a deadly weapon.

BM mother takes the child to the police station to meet my husband. No, I do not go along. I visit with my Step-son when he come home.

 

[thetsgtswife]

I just have to say that you are a remarkable lady!! Im not so sure that I would handle any of this as well as you are. First your hubby is unfaithful, creates a child from that relationship and now you have to deal with a lady that is very unstable, I dont think I would have been able to make it through the first blow muchless all of them.

Just stay away from her like you have been and DOCUMENT, there may come a point that its in the childs best interests to live with your husband because it doesnt sound like mom is stable at all! I have visions of FATAL ATTRACTION in my head!!

tsgtswife

 

[carofl93]

2. You should have thought of that and Never

Reply: I should have thought of what? I don't know this person and I did not choose for her to be in my life.

Did you not know that your husband had an ex? You had the choice when you married him.

Just to let you know, II am married to a man with 2 psycho exes. Like others have said, document everything and stay as far away from the ex as possible. Good luck!

Carol

 

[thetsgtswife]

Did you not know that your husband had an ex? You had the choice when you married him.

Just to let you know,I am married to a man with 2 psycho exes. Like others have said, document everything and stay as far away from the ex as possible. Good luck!

Carol

Her hubby cheated on her....read the title :Cheating hubby makes me a step-mom, do I have rights?

So no she didnt have a choice, because My guess is that she didnt realize that when she married him that he would cheat. Yes she chose to stay with him after that though.

TSGTSWIFE

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

I just have to say that you are a remarkable lady!!

tsgtswife

My response:

Remarkable? Well, that wouldn't have been the word I would have used. More like, "Stupid", or "Idiot", or "spineless", or "Idiot" (oh, I used that one already).

Any women who stays in a situation like this deserves everything that happens to her.

IAAL

 

[brisgirl825]

You have the right to leave the cheatin' spouse. Why would you want to be with someone who disrespected you and put you in this position? Leave him to deal with his own mess.
This isn't the Middle Ages, women are not expected to stay married to philandering husbands. Stand up for yourself.

Sarah