Child Custody Case- Please help..

[i_found_nemo101]

What is the name of your state?Backround Information: My name is Krista, I am 14 years old; a freshman in highschool. My grades are good, I'm on honors and my current living situation is with my mother, two younger siblings, and my stepdad.

Situation: On November 30th, we are scheduled to leave our two family home to move to a house in a different school district. It being nearly halfway through the year, and I am comfortable with it, I do not want to move. My father lives in town and if i could move in with him I could stay at my current school. He wouldn't mind and thinks it would be a good idea if I did, so there is no problem with him. It isn't the only reason I would want to leave my mother, my stepdad isn't a very good person in my eyes. (actually hes my mother's fiance of 5 years or so..) The way he treats me is in no way acceptable, I am not saying I am spoiled but I think I deserve better. He has searched my belongings for drugs and has threatened to call the police on me because I would not leave my room. Me being 14, moving has a big effect on me, I do not want to leave my friends. Nor do I want to restart my highschool experience, it would be stressful enough just moving but learning a new schedule, new teachers, etc. just adds more weight. Along with my stepdad nagging at me for every little thing I do wrong, which is everything in his eyes. He has even said so himself, that I never do anything right and I am a bad person. I think they are trying to force me to stay with them so they will still recieve my father's child support, and maybe the only reason my father wants me to move with him is so he won't have to pay. I've looked from all aspects and its really quite confusing because I can't tell who is lying. The only thing I want is to move in with my dad, I want to know if I can, and how I would be able to. I believe I have to go to court, my stepdad told me I'd have to tell them why my mother was unfit, but he says a lot of untruthful things and tends to exaggerate. Please help me! Sorry for being so brief and thank you for your time.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?Backround Information: My name is Krista, I am 14 years old; a freshman in highschool. My grades are good, I'm on honors and my current living situation is with my mother, two younger siblings, and my stepdad.

Situation: On November 30th, we are scheduled to leave our two family home to move to a house in a different school district. It being nearly halfway through the year, and I am comfortable with it, I do not want to move. My father lives in town and if i could move in with him I could stay at my current school. He wouldn't mind and thinks it would be a good idea if I did, so there is no problem with him. It isn't the only reason I would want to leave my mother, my stepdad isn't a very good person in my eyes. (actually hes my mother's fiance of 5 years or so..) The way he treats me is in no way acceptable, I am not saying I am spoiled but I think I deserve better. He has searched my belongings for drugs and has threatened to call the police on me because I would not leave my room. Me being 14, moving has a big effect on me, I do not want to leave my friends. Nor do I want to restart my highschool experience, it would be stressful enough just moving but learning a new schedule, new teachers, etc. just adds more weight. Along with my stepdad nagging at me for every little thing I do wrong, which is everything in his eyes. He has even said so himself, that I never do anything right and I am a bad person. I think they are trying to force me to stay with them so they will still recieve my father's child support, and maybe the only reason my father wants me to move with him is so he won't have to pay. I've looked from all aspects and its really quite confusing because I can't tell who is lying. The only thing I want is to move in with my dad, I want to know if I can, and how I would be able to. I believe I have to go to court, my stepdad told me I'd have to tell them why my mother was unfit, but he says a lot of untruthful things and tends to exaggerate. Please help me! Sorry for being so brief and thank you for your time.

Well Krista, you are either an exceptionally well educated 14 year old, who uses absolutely NO terminology that is common to teenagers, or you are one of the adults in Krista's life who for some reason has chosen to post as Krista.

In any case, Krista will be moving with her mother and stepdad on November 30th and there is nothing that can be done to stop that at this late date. Krista's dad can file for custody if he thinks he has a case. An attorney can best advise him. Krista herself can do nothing.

 

[Tinaa]

Amazing what out public schools can turn out. Seriously Krista, your father would have to file for custody and as a teenager you may be able to talk to the judge. Perhaps, your father can get to an attorney soon, but not soon enough to stop the move.

Ldj, I work with teenagers and many are quite able to speak clearly and precisely, especially when trying to get their own way. Most teenagers know how to write without slang. Give the kid a break. She did make some very common mistakes like ending a sentence with a preposition and misspelled words.

 

[stealth2]

What does your Mom say about it? November 30 isn't the end of term, is it? Do you think you might be able to buy some time by askign to stay with your Dad until the end of the semester? That would give him time to file for a change in custody.

What I think must be the toughest part is your not knowing which of your parents to trust or believe. I'm sorry you have to feel that way.

 

[stealth2]

Ldj, I work with teenagers and many are quite able to speak clearly and precisely, especially when trying to get their own way. Most teenagers know how to write without slang. Give the kid a break. She did make some very common mistakes like ending a sentence with a preposition and misspelled words.

Yep, my oldest could easily write something that well-written. And he's 12.

 

[LdiJ]

Amazing what out public schools can turn out. Seriously Krista, your father would have to file for custody and as a teenager you may be able to talk to the judge. Perhaps, your father can get to an attorney soon, but not soon enough to stop the move.

Ldj, I work with teenagers and many are quite able to speak clearly and precisely, especially when trying to get their own way. Most teenagers know how to write without slang. Give the kid a break. She did make some very common mistakes like ending a sentence with a preposition and misspelled words.

I have also worked with teenagers and have a teenager of my own. I realize that there is some chance that Krista herself wrote that post. (which I acknowledged). However the terminology was also VERY adult and she didn't lapse into any "teenspeak" at all...not even grammatically correct "teenspeak". Which is why I felt it was possible that SHE didn't write the post.

In any case, the answers remain the same. Its up to dad to file for custody if he feels that he has a case. Its sounds like they are just moving to another part of town....that generally isn't grounds for a custody change. Particularly since she is just 14. If she was a Junior or Senior and didn't want to leave her school the chances would be stronger. It sounds however like she is a Freshman.

 

[i_found_nemo101]

Thank you very much, and I did write my own post. I see where you could get that idea though; after re-reading it, I sound like my father. I just don't want to leave a comfortable environment so I can try to find my way in a completely foreign atmosphere. I am situated here and do not make friends very easily on my own. My mother has told me that they would drive me to my current school until mid-terms are up, but I have to agree to not rebel and not try to move in with my dad afterwords. I think they are afraid of losing me because of the child support I bring in. They probably would not be able to afford luxury items. I was reading up on child custody and it said that if i had an adequate reason, it would be taken into consideration. I myself can't do anything, but I could influence the judges decision. We would be there for what would be best for me. Maybe my reason isn't good enough, but I'd love to move with my dad now, even if I wasn't moving. Over time we've actually created a bond that never existed before, and I feel as though I can talk to him, unlike with my mother and stepfather. The idea of court scares me; It would be much easier if I could talk to my mother rationally without her immediate answer being "no" Thanks again for all your help, it means a lot to me that I get some adults' opinions instead of my adolescent friends. -Krista

 

[cablekatie]

Why not show your mom these posts and start a dialogue? Or write her a letter just as mature and thoughtfully as you've typed your post?

 

[Terence Beckham]

The most relevant point of this girls posting is this:

"The only thing I want is to move in with my dad"

This child knows what will make her happy. She is bright and intelligent - she must follow her thoughts on this and figure out for herself who she can trust the most and feel comfortable with.

If she were in the Uk she would get to live with her Father. I find it astonishing that in the US that 18 year olds are still classified as children. I left home at 16 started work and rented my own flat...are the children of America that immature at 17/18? I don't think so.

Best of luck to you Krista...follow your heart and dig in for what you want and what will make you happy.....you can still love and be part of both parents lives whatever your choices.

 

[Whyte Noise]

Terence

I think you mis-read this post.

This child isn't 18, she's 14. It's in her initial post.

 

[i_found_nemo101]

Thank you so much for all of your advice. It has done a great deal in both informing me and boosting my confidence. I am shy and I don't like to take action unless I am certain of myself, so luckily I've got this forum to help. Considering I am moving tomorrow, I won't be on to check this for a while and when I do.. I will probably have my permanent home. If you still have any advice or any comments I will be happy to read them. Thanks again!
-Krista

 

[tuffluv]

Reply

State is WV. I know it would be hard moving out of state especially at your age with all of your friends, etc. But look at it this way, your stepdad may be hard on you because he loves you. I don't know what it would be like to be a stepparent or to have a step parent but my daughters know. They are only 8 an 10 and I know it is hard on them now (much kess moving away).
Regardless of the child support - the courts have laws set for that and your father has to pay regardless if you live with him less that a % of the year. Check your state laws.