child custody

[mandy23]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

Hi--I know this normally isnt allowed but the person I am posting on behalf of is not able to use a computer so i am hoping you guys can still help. Him and his ex wife have a 16 year old boy together. They got divorced when the child was 8. Up until age 11, the child lived with his mom with visitation to the dad. At age 11, his mom decided that she could not deal with him any longer and sent him to live with his dad. She has not seen him but maybe twice in the 5 years since. The dad has supported the child with the help of my fiance and I since he was 11. The mom continues to try to control what the dad can and cannot do with the child but refuses to sign over custody even though she provides very little financial support--the dad and my fiance and I pays 100% of food, shelter and about 99% of clothing--the mom has bought maybe 3 outfits in the 6 years he has been with us. ok so my question is what rights does the dad have.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Missouri

Hi--I know this normally isnt allowed but the person I am posting on behalf of is not able to use a computer so i am hoping you guys can still help. Him and his ex wife have a 16 year old boy together. They got divorced when the child was 8. Up until age 11, the child lived with his mom with visitation to the dad. At age 11, his mom decided that she could not deal with him any longer and sent him to live with his dad. She has not seen him but maybe twice in the 5 years since. The dad has supported the child with the help of my fiance and I since he was 11. The mom continues to try to control what the dad can and cannot do with the child but refuses to sign over custody even though she provides very little financial support--the dad and my fiance and I pays 100% of food, shelter and about 99% of clothing--the mom has bought maybe 3 outfits in the 6 years he has been with us. ok so my question is what rights does the dad have.

Dad has the right to file in court to modify custody, based on the fact that the child has lived with him for the last 5 years. Dad would also have the right to file for child support.

 

[mandy23]

Dad has the right to file in court to modify custody, based on the fact that the child has lived with him for the last 5 years. Dad would also have the right to file for child support.

Can the dad file for assistance such as medicaid and food stamps if needed even if the paperwork says the child should be in the mother's custody. Having the ability to do so would also help him tremendously as he is disabled.

 

[Ohiogal]

Can the dad file for assistance such as medicaid and food stamps if needed even if the paperwork says the child should be in the mother's custody. Having the ability to do so would also help him tremendously as he is disabled.

Does dad live in your household? Why hasn't dad filed for child support?

 

[LdiJ]

Dad can file for food stamps, Medicaid and other benefits but it would be more complicated if he doesn't also file to modify custody.

 

[mandy23]

Does dad live in your household? Why hasn't dad filed for child support?

Honestly I think dad doesnt really know his rights---he had to quit school at a young age to help support his family(back in the 70's). He lives with my fiance and I and we help out with the kid as much as we can. The dad is disabled due to a few cancer surgeries and also cannot read(my fiance and I read any documents to him and make sure he understands any thing that he needs to sign.) He can sign his name and can write if we tell him how to spell the word out. So I think that another thing that has kept him from doing so is the fear of her holding those things against him.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Can the dad file for assistance such as medicaid and food stamps if needed even if the paperwork says the child should be in the mother's custody. Having the ability to do so would also help him tremendously as he is disabled.

*First* Dad should get custody modified. He needs to petition for a change of custody. The change of circumstance is "status quo". Mom can try to fight this, but if Dad can prove that it's been 5 years since the kid has lived with her, that's tough for her to get around.

With legal custody, Dad can do all you want and more. Mom might even be ordered to pay child support.

 

[mandy23]

*First* Dad should get custody modified. He needs to petition for a change of custody. The change of circumstance is "status quo". Mom can try to fight this, but if Dad can prove that it's been 5 years since the kid has lived with her, that's tough for her to get around.

With legal custody, Dad can do all you want and more. Mom might even be ordered to pay child support.

Thank you all for the responses. I will pass this all on to the dad and help him get the ball rolling on this.

 

[CJane]

Is Dad receiving SSI or SSDI?

In MO, I would do things in a slightly different order than others have suggested, simply for expediency.

First, file for state assistance - TANF, SNAP, Medicaid, etc.

Second, file for child support through DSS. You can d/l the application for child support services from the website, or fill it out online and submit it (obviously read the questions to Dad and fill in his answers). DSS doesn't care what the court order says regarding custody. Whichever parent has ACTUAL custody (meaning possession of the child) is the parent they will consider the recipient of child support.

LASTLY, file for custody if Dad thinks it's necessary. At the child's age, there is a high chance that nothing would ever be decided in court before he aged out at 18.

 

[Just Blue]

Help Dad to learn to read..it's never too late.

 

[mandy23]

Is Dad receiving SSI or SSDI?

In MO, I would do things in a slightly different order than others have suggested, simply for expediency.

First, file for state assistance - TANF, SNAP, Medicaid, etc.

Second, file for child support through DSS. You can d/l the application for child support services from the website, or fill it out online and submit it (obviously read the questions to Dad and fill in his answers). DSS doesn't care what the court order says regarding custody. Whichever parent has ACTUAL custody (meaning possession of the child) is the parent they will consider the recipient of child support.

LASTLY, file for custody if Dad thinks it's necessary. At the child's age, there is a high chance that nothing would ever be decided in court before he aged out at 18.

SSDI. That approach makes sense. THanks

 

[LdiJ]

SSDI. That approach makes sense. THanks

I agree. I did not pick up on the fact that the child was 16 already.