Child support...again

[CourtClerk]

So your husband would rather pay alimony and child support to you rather than take on the minimal added expense of the child he tried to adopt? I'm not big on ultimatums and I hate emotional blackmail, but you ultimately have to live with it. Just remember real hard who you're dealing with. Had it been me, he would threaten to leave in one breath and be packing his bags immediately thereafter, but if he'd prefer, perhaps you can go back to work and he can stay home and take care of the baby. Then you'll have your own money to support your child.

 

[RRevak]

It's a good point. He was willing to go through an adoption - twice - but so ticked off he's ready to leave if you don't get CS from your ex?

Y'all need an intervention, stat.

I know . This has been brewing for a long time and I've been so wrapped up in supporting the ex coming back into kiddos life that I didn't see the toll it was taking on my husband and my marriage. I think part of him resents the situation so much because the adoptions didn't work. That maybe he feels if he's going to be supporting kiddo like she was his then she SHOULD be his. He has been known to make comments about how it wasn't ok for the ex to disappear and then reappear and I just treat it like things were normal. He sits on the field of "if you don't pay support then you shouldn't get to see your child" and that's a really hard thing to be up against when I know that her best interests should come before support. But I guess its easy to say that when it isn't my money supporting her either. *sigh* I'm now wondering if marriage counselor should be added to my list of things to do

 

[RRevak]

So your husband would rather pay alimony and child support to you rather than take on the minimal added expense of the child he tried to adopt? I'm not big on ultimatums and I hate emotional blackmail, but you ultimately have to live with it. Just remember real hard who you're dealing with. Had it been me, he would threaten to leave in one breath and be packing his bags immediately thereafter, but if he'd prefer, perhaps you can go back to work and he can stay home and take care of the baby. Then you'll have your own money to support your child.

I love my husband more than words. Like, the stupid ridiculous still get butterflies when I see him walk through the front door love my husband. So this is a situation that means walking away isn't an option, esp if his words were just said in anger and not something he truly means (which I honestly believe). I also recognize that I partly created this by letting the ex get away with so much over the last year so its up to me to find a way to make this work for everyone even if it means taking the chance on the ex's reaction by filing. As her father he really does have an obligation to help support her and I know now that I should have made that clear from the get go but, as we say here at the lovely FA, kiddo isn't Bobo the Two Headed Dog Girl so he shouldn't have to pay to see her.

 

[RRevak]

Parents are coming over to watch kiddos so hubs and I can have a quiet dinner alone to talk. I really hope his words were just out of anger because I feel like crawling into a hole right about now.