child support papers served for illegitimate child

[AHA]

OP, don't try and tell me that if it was the other way around, men got pregnant, the man would let the woman decide what he does with his body and future????
It's not women's fault that they the only ones designed to get pregnant(it was an obvious choice by nature, men could never physically or mentally handle a pregnancy and child birth apparently! ).

If you are a man and want a baby, find a woman that wants the same thing. If you are a man and don't want a baby, wear a condom every time or don't have sex. It's simple logic, should be, even for men.

 

[AHA]

OP, you blew your coveer .

How do you know for sure that you "signed your rights away"? Do you have a court order from a judge saying that you are/will never liable for paying child support for this child? Two irresponsible parents getting together at the kitchen counter and jotting a couple of sentences down on a post-it note is NOT a legal valid document!!
As the father of a child it is YOUR responsibilty to make 100% sure of your position waaaaaaaaaaaaaay earlier than years and years after the birth. It's YOUR business to take care of, not anyone else's.
If you have to pay child support now, it just means you have to cut down on luxuries your later kids and you and wifey are getting. The first kid didn't ask to born to selfish parents and therefore should be the LAST person to suffer for ignorances commited by ADULTS.

 

[lianehaze]

Okay, so maybe i'm the bitter one. It's not that i'm not seeing what I want to see. I'm stating the things that I don't think are fair when it comes to child support, and getting insight on other peoples feelings about the situation. Obviously most people feel that i'm wrong in the way that I feel. Who knows maybe if they were put in the exact same situation they would feel different and then again maybe not. I get the fact that this kid should receive financial support if all of a sudden the mother feels like she needs it. What I don't understand is how we are expected to pay for her attorney fees, then we pay the full price of a paternity test, then we pay our lawyer, and during this process back child support is building up. By the time the order is set we're probably going to be thousands and thousands of dollars behind. Just as she deserves support for her child I deserve support for mine. My 1 year old daughter has had numerous medical problems for over 6 months and it's been hard to pay the medical bills. We are struggling to support our far from luxurious lifestyle. Once the order is set, will my 2 children (each) have available to them the amount that is ordered to the other child?

 

[lianehaze]

OP, you blew your coveer .

How do you know for sure that you "signed your rights away"? Do you have a court order from a judge saying that you are/will never liable for paying child support for this child? Two irresponsible parents getting together at the kitchen counter and jotting a couple of sentences down on a post-it note is NOT a legal valid document!!
As the father of a child it is YOUR responsibilty to make 100% sure of your position waaaaaaaaaaaaaay earlier than years and years after the birth. It's YOUR business to take care of, not anyone else's.
If you have to pay child support now, it just means you have to cut down on luxuries your later kids and you and wifey are getting. The first kid didn't ask to born to selfish parents and therefore should be the LAST person to suffer for ignorances commited by ADULTS.

It wasn't at the kitchen table and written on a post it when he signed his rights away. It was on a legal document that the mother of the child sent to him to sign. It was signed in court by my husband and by the clerk of the court who was the witness.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

It's not about about insight to feelings or what is fair, it is what thr law says and responsibility. Who is writing this, a 3rd party? The Father? The wife? If this is the wife, it was your husband's lack of responsibility to take cae of this issue in the begining that is at the heart of this, but rather than ask the question years ago he allowed someone else take on his responsibility. He married and had children knowing that it could possibly come back to bite him in the butt. The reason it is costing more now is because he is fighting it and has already not paid 7 years of child support.

 

[BethM]

It wasn't at the kitchen table and written on a post it when he signed his rights away. It was on a legal document that the mother of the child sent to him to sign. It was signed in court by my husband and by the clerk of the court who was the witness.

If this is true then the document will be on file with the court clerk. You say he doesn't have a copy of the document he signed then, have him go down to the courthouse and request a copy of the document that the court clerk witnessed.

If he did, indeed sign away his rights in this manner then, at that time he was b being reponsible. He should have followed up and made sure that an actual adoption took place. That would have kept him from having to deal with this all these years later.

He needs to talk to get a copy of the document he signed...if there really is such a document and then get himself an attorney if he doesn't have one already.

Bottom line is he will pay and he will pay because he failed to make sure there was an adoption. His children will pay and his wife will pay. It is not state laws that are responsible for him paying. It is his own actions that are responsible and he and his wife need to get over trying to blame someone or something else for his own irrisponsiblity in this matter.

As far as his children getting an equal piece of the pie, no they won't. Another thing, should he and his wife ever divorce the support he will pay for the children he has now will come after the support he pays for this first child.

Someone here needs to grow up. Sure he got her pregnant and she had all the control BUT he failed to follow through on what little control he had over the situation and now his butt is in a sling. No legal entity from the state of California was holding a gun to his head and making him not follow through on his responsibility after he signed that document.

The sooner he and anyone attached to him realizes that he is where he is in regard to this child due to his own behavior the sooner you will both become more mature in handling the consequences of his actions. In other words stop whining about this mess and get to work paying for a child he helped create and never gave a second thought to.

 

[brisgirl825]

ALABAMA

I was married in Alabama, moved to California with the US Marines, i was always on float and my Ex was well doing her thing, she told me she was pregnant with my son, on my first float so of course i was excited.. moving on a few years later agian going on a float she contacts me 3 months in and tells me she is agian pregnant, and agian i was overjoyed, skipping to the problem. several years later our marrige fell apart due to her infidelities she simply liked the idea of sharing my bed when i was away on military bussiness(Gulf War).so i asked her if the children where indeed mine, and she of course got angry, go figure.anyway we ended up divorcing due to the infidelities she had, and a court battle insued. i paid child support for several years, in and out of court over support order modifications started by her, asking for more money. this started to really upset me, so i asked for a paternity test, she not wantiing me to find out the truth, came to me and told me in the courthouse
the kids were indeed not mine, the court ordered her to put in writing her admission, and the support case aginst me was dropped and i never asked for a red cent from her.but whenever i contact her to talk with the kids who are (14and 16now). she has some wild and crazy thing about getting me back on child support, she actually managed to get me with an old order the miltary had in the system, but i talked to them and it was readjusted, she has now managed to find a way to have the state of ALABAMA put a child support order aginst me, which is in direct conflict with the order from california that states i owe her nothing . anyone with ideas on how i should handle this?

"Sorry for the long post" and if this isn't appropriate for this thread...

So you're upset bc you she won't let you talk to *her* kids? Kids that you didn't want to claim as your own and support financially or emotionally after several years of them only knowing you as dad?
Leave the kids alone, you dropped them like trash bc you didn't want to pay support. You didn't give one thought as to how they'd feel. Stop calling them and let them move on.

As for the rest...Different state, different problem. You should probably get a copy of her admission and court order to show the judge.


Sarah

 

[BelizeBreeze]

ALABAMA

I was married in Alabama, moved to California with the US Marines, i was always on float and my Ex was well doing her thing, she told me she was pregnant with my son, on my first float so of course i was excited.. moving on a few years later agian going on a float she contacts me 3 months in and tells me she is agian pregnant, and agian i was overjoyed, skipping to the problem. several years later our marrige fell apart due to her infidelities she simply liked the idea of sharing my bed when i was away on military bussiness(Gulf War).so i asked her if the children where indeed mine, and she of course got angry, go figure.anyway we ended up divorcing due to the infidelities she had, and a court battle insued. i paid child support for several years, in and out of court over support order modifications started by her, asking for more money. this started to really upset me, so i asked for a paternity test, she not wantiing me to find out the truth, came to me and told me in the courthouse
the kids were indeed not mine, the court ordered her to put in writing her admission, and the support case aginst me was dropped and i never asked for a red cent from her.but whenever i contact her to talk with the kids who are (14and 16now). she has some wild and crazy thing about getting me back on child support, she actually managed to get me with an old order the miltary had in the system, but i talked to them and it was readjusted, she has now managed to find a way to have the state of ALABAMA put a child support order aginst me, which is in direct conflict with the order from california that states i owe her nothing . anyone with ideas on how i should handle this?

"Sorry for the long post" and if this isn't appropriate for this thread...

Do NOT hijack another's thread. Start a new one.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

i never had a problem supporting the kids, i did for 8 years, until i found out she lied, ladies. apperently thats all that are in this forum. i have seen alot of bashing, by self rightous ppl, in here... and to think i was looking for answers,,,,hahahahah, what a joke.... i handled her then and i guess i will have to handle her agian by proof, that my ex was a lying, cheating peice of trash, who could'nt love one man, and ended up with two illegitamate children, BTW ,,, i have a great relationship with the kids. only problem is the EX!!!!!!!!!!!!
well i guess im done ranting with all the oprahteers here. to the OP,,, sorry about jacking your thread, i do believe i said sorry @ the end of my original post. but i will say it agian sorry ...peace and out

What part of don't hijack a thread, if you have a question start your own, do you not understand?

 

[brisgirl825]

Oh will you just shut up with your hate already?! Can you even read with an open mind or do you always see what you want to see? Good God woman, you completely missed the point. How about going back and re-reading z(multiple times if need be) to understand EXACTLY what the poster wrote.

Will you shut the F up???

They ARE NOT his kids. He has NO right to call and bother them. If he wanted to be a dad, he should have been.

I'm not saying she was right to lie but he has no right to go in and out of the kids' lives. Leave them alone!!

Sarah

 

[brisgirl825]

So, did you re-read the post or are you still spewing your blantant bias all over the place?

Very interesting how the fact this his ex FRAUDED HIM & THE KIDS the entire time until she was pretty much backed into a corner didn't even dawn on you. No comment about that, but when the guy simply calls to talk to the kids -- who were believed to be HIS and the guy THEIR DAD FOR OVER A DECADE, you blow a gasket.

Nice bias you got going there. Get some help before it gives you another ulcer. And learn to read with an open-mind instead of jumping down every freaking guy's throat. Women like you are a dime a dozen.

Can't wait to see what great, anti-man comments you'll have to respond with.

Why don't you read what I said???? I said that she was NOT right in doing what she did. If he wanted to be a dad reguardless of paternity, he shouldn't have contested paternity. They are NO longer his children. He has NO legal right to call them.
He wanted the best of both worlds. He didn't want to support them but he wants to be a dad...you can't have both.

 

[AHA]

i never had a problem supporting the kids, i did for 8 years, until i found out she lied, ladies. apperently thats all that are in this forum. i have seen alot of bashing, by self rightous ppl, in here... and to think i was looking for answers,,,,hahahahah, what a joke.... i handled her then and i guess i will have to handle her agian by proof, that my ex was a lying, cheating peice of trash, who could'nt love one man, and ended up with two illegitamate children, BTW ,,, i have a great relationship with the kids. only problem is the EX!!!!!!!!!!!!
well i guess im done ranting with all the oprahteers here. to the OP,,, sorry about jacking your thread, i do believe i said sorry @ the end of my original post. but i will say it agian sorry ...peace and out

Funny how you liked this "lying, cheating piece of trash enough to get into bed and hump her black and blue over and over, UNPROTECTED NO LESS........that makes you no better than trash yourself.....and VERY stupid. If you go for mattress women then you have to expect some company in the bed.

 

[AHA]

Did I miss the "black and blue part" somewhere earlier?? LOL

Just a metafor for her being good enough to screw over and over without ANY hesitation from the "man".